Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets

 Let's get honest here and get right to it: is there any way that the new Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets could fail?

Well, short of really bad quality control incidents, no, there's really not. 

It's a tale as old as time. Perfectly crunchy, snacky, salty pretzel nuggets. On the inside there's a nice little creamy nut butter, this time almond. On the outside, there's dark chocolate enrobing it all. Pretty classic here. 

The song's as old as rhyme, too. Everything's great. No complaints about the overall quality of goods here. Each component is on point, with maybe a little extra credit to the almond butter for being a touch creamier than expected. Usually peanut butter seems chalky inside a pretzel nugget, but that's not the case here. 

But certain as the sun rising in the East, just as there's not much chance to really muck it all up, there's not much here in way of abject innovation. Nothing that makes the TJ's brand really, I dunno, TJ's. Delicious as it can be, as expected, nothing more or nothing less. 

Perhaps that's the beauty and the beast of TJ's, at times. Reliable, dependable, good stuff at a fair price - I don't think this was even $4 - but nothing innovative or flat out excellent leaves a small touch of what's to be desired. That being said, definitely a rebuy. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Filled Pretzel Nuggets: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cocoa Marshmallows

I knew this dude once who was allergic to nuts. Upon learning about his condition, I mentioned something along the lines of "Wow, that sucks. I don't think I could make it through life without peanut butter." He politely informed me that he was a huge fan of peanut butter as well, and that peanuts were, in fact, legumes rather than true nuts since true nuts grow on trees, and that his allergy did not include peanuts.

I don't think I've ever actually known someone with one of those super-sensitive peanut allergies because if I did, they'd have to stay far away from me since more often than not there's a bit of peanuts or peanut butter in my system. I guess there are worse things to emanate than a vague aura of peanuttiness, but anyway, before I digress into utter absurdity as I've done many times before, my point is that I love peanut butter and I was thinking these would be more peanut buttery, even though it's entirely possible that other folks might find the peanut butter element here overbearing.

Now that I think about it, I guess peanut butter is the dominant flavor, but there's no actual peanut butter texture. There's just this thin peanut butter-flavored candy coating with mostly a marshmallow texture thanks to the marshmallow center. The cocoa element is barely there, so there's less of a Reese's kind of effect and more of a peanut butter-flavored marshmallow effect.

Peanut butter-flavored marshmallows are fine, but I'd still probably choose a traditional peanut butter and chocolate combo over these. Sonia was struck with the opposite notion. I think she was overcome by the novelty of this unique snack. She paired them with coffee and seemed to like them more and more as we went along. I washed mine down with milk and remained tolerant of them, but not blown away. I must admit, the marshmallow texture is definitely that of a fresh, fluffy marshmallow, rather than that of a stiff or stale one. How could one make these a big winner in my book? Stuff version 2.0 with actual peanut butter—chunky style if you really wanna go the extra mile.

$3.99 for about 18 marshmallows. Each marshmallow is two bites a piece by my reckoning. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Three stars from me. She'd definitely buy 'em again. I probably wouldn't.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Avocado Smoothie

 "Ugh. Enjoy your salad dressing drink."

So sayeth my lovely bride. As if I wasn't already somewhat apprehensive enough about giving Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Cucumber Avocado Smoothie a try, though in retrospect, drinkable salad dressing does sound more appealing than gulpabe guacamole, though maybe only slightly. 

I like healthy things, generally, and using something like a banana as base for a smoothie like this sounds perfectly appealing. But...avocado? That throws off everything. 

Texturewise, it works, even better than expected once realized that cucumber was the base liquid. That took an extra second or two, but cucumbers are like mostly water, right? So it should work, and it does, albeit with definitely a lot of cucumber taste - believe it or not, right? There's enough other stuff to fill out the drink, like mango and spinach, that make the avocado literally blend right in. It's almost not noticeable except as a thickening agent and slight flavor contributor, emphasis on slight.

What IS noticeable is the lime. I mean, holy guacamole. Add a little touch of salt or spice and this would be practically a watery guacamole, with extra lime. It's so limey that the risk of scurvy probably just got kicked ten years down the road. If you don't *love* limes, this won't be for you. It's lime city, baby. There's a whole lime in here, and it tastes more like a whole grove.

There is a little sweetness which I presume would be the cherries, as it's not quite of the mangolicious persuasion. It..kinda works but kinda clashes with the overt citrus overload at the same time. And ginger? Not really there but seems more of an aftertaste, which is too bad as perhaps it'd be the ginger that pulls and keeps everything together.

In all, it's an okay drink. I'll definitely be full for the next couple hours. For what it is, and prices these days, it's not awful at somewhere in the $3 to $4 range. That being said, not sure I'd get it again. Too weird as a drink. Maybe more as a sald dressing would be the right idea. Apparently, according to my wife, there's some chatter elsewhere on the web that using this on chicken is pretty good? Maybe that'd work, I dunno. 

Double threes sounds two high, double two too low, so one of each.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cold Pressed Avocado Smoothie: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons