Trader Joe's Fruit & Nut Log

The really short version: if you like dried fruit and pecans, you’ll love this thing.

The kinda short version: as Trader Joe states on the packaging, this product is basically a traditional pecan log, but with cranberries, apricots, and pistachios, too. They’re all rolled onto a nougat cylinder, making a “new festive holiday treat.” That’s accurate enough, I think. Plus, it’s kosher. Happy Hanukkah, friends!

I was surprised at how much Sonia loved this thing. I didn’t think she was a big dried fruit fan. But apparently, she’s been hiding that part of her identity from me. Now I know.

I, on the other hand, really like dried fruit. But I think I prefer just plain pieces of dried fruit to this holiday concoction from TJ’s. I have nothing against it. I guess I’m just a little freaked out by the massive quantity of creamy white nougat stuck between the fruit and nuts. Despite the nougatiness, this product is still relatively good-for-you. Please note that I said relatively good-for-you. People usually fall into one of two categories: (1) the group of people who wouldn’t even try this because they think it’s some kind of health food, and (2) the group of people who think I should be tarred and feathered for insinuating that a giant stick of glucose syrup is in any way “good-for-you.” I fall directly in between these two groups. The fruit and nuts are probably healthy, but the nougat…maybe not so much.

And if I’m going to eat something that’s not completely good for me, I want to eat something really, really tasty. And I’m probably going to eat a lot of it. This stuff was nice to try, but it wouldn’t be the dessert of my choice. I’d pick regular dried fruit for a snack, and then I’d pig out on pumpkin pie later on.

Sonia disagrees. She’d like to make this item a staple in our home for snacks, desserts, and not just for holidays. Sorry, Sonia. I think this is just a seasonal treat…

At any rate, she gives it 4.5 out of 5 stars. I give it 2.5.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cranberry Orange Cookies with White Chocolate Chips

Ever have those chocolate oranges at Christmas time? It doesn't seem like it should work, but chocolate/orange is an excellent flavor combination. Case in point: The Chocolate Orange.

This product from Trader Joe's is a little light on the chocolate end of the equation, especially for dark and milk chocolate lovers, but it's kinda the same idea. These cookies taste a bit more like "candied oranges." They've got real citrus flavor, and they're super sweet.

The dominant flavor in these cookies is definitely the orange. Sonia agrees. She's not fond of citrusy cookies, but I am. TJ's has done the citrus cookie thing before, and they did it pretty well. In this product, the cranberries add a bit of tartness, but you don't really taste cranberry per se. Likewise, the white chocolate adds sweetness, but you're not really tasting chocolate. You're tasting a cookified, extra-tart, extra-sweet orange. And I think it's brilliant.

My wife, on the other hand, wasn't as pleased with the overwhelming citrus flavor. She likes the cranberry part of the cookies, but wishes it were more prevalent. She likes the white chocolate (although, I know from experience that she'd be at least as happy with dark or milk chocolate). And we both loved the soft, bready, cookie part of the product. Sonia pointed out that they're vaguely reminiscent of Subway's birthday berry or white chocolate raspberry cookies...with way more citrusiness. The overall texture is sorta like a sugar cookie, in that it's a bit buttery and delicate.

While Sonia couldn't bring herself to give them higher than 3 stars, I was tempted to give them a perfect score. If I had tasted the cranberry and white chocolate just a tad more, I think I would have. 4.5 stars from me.

Bottom line 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Tots

Back on Thanksgiving, Sandy and I decided to try and give sweet Lil' Baby M a sweet little treat. At a little over 4 months old, she's being staring at us pretty intently whenever we've been eating or drinking something*, so we decided that maybe she was ready to try her first bite of "real people food." So, Sandy scooped up a little bite of our baked sweet potatoes, mixed in a little mama milk, and mashed it up and plopped into Lil' Baby M's mouth. I, of course, had our de facto video recorder (read: iPhone) running to preserve the moment for all of time. And her reaction? Well, to ask that question assumes that she had one. She just kinda looked and blinked and swished it around and spit some up and might have managed to swallow a little, all with a completely blank, pretty uninterested expression on her little face.** Guess she ain't ready yet.

And I'm pretty sure her reaction would have been exactly the same if her first bite would have instead been a Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Tot, because, well, that was pretty much ours when we had them a few nights ago. Minus the spit up, of course.

It's not the taste that doesn't work. They're pretty legitimate sweet potato mini-nuggets. No real problem there. It's more the texture. You know how a tater tot is supposed to be - crispy on the outside, kinda soft/kinda firm in the middle, and a little greasy too? Indeed, TJ's makes some freakin' excellent ones that are perfect right from the oven. These...are more like baked mush. Anything purporting to be a tater tot cannot simply be a dollop of potato mush, with the outside being slightly less mushy mush. Doesn't work. And that was even after baking them for a little beyond the 35-40 minutes the instructions give for a crunchy tater barrel. I think to get anything resembling a crispiness or a crunchiness we would have had to flat-out blacken these suckers.

That's part of the sweet potato curse. Kinda like salty/chocolate combos, or stuff made with whole grain, or (for my taste) wheat beers, there's a balance that has to be struck. They can be absolutely great, but if not done well, it doesn't work. A little unlike those examples, sweet potatoes almost always taste great, but texturally they either work very well (like these frites) or not at all (look at these gnocchi! Ugh). I'm not sure what really separates them from their regular cousins in that regard - I guess it's something that has to do with the additional natural sugars softening them up during preparation.       

Anyways, out of our veggie corn dog and tater tot dinner, these were the absolute disappointment. "They're basically like a baked version of the gnocchi," Sandy said. Oooh, that's a deep insult. She gave them a two, based solely on the texture. I'll be a little more generous than I might otherwise and say a three.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Tots: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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*She's the most interested whenever we drink a beer. I guess she likes what's in her bottle so much she wonders what's in ours. I don't know how to feel about this.
**We have so many nicknames for her. "Little Face" is one that Sandy came up with. I wish I had veto rights over nicknames, like what we granted each other when discussing actual names, 'cause man, I hate that one.