Trader Joe's Something Spritzy Sparkling Beverages

If you're here to read about the festive version of Something Spritzy, then happy holidays! If you're here at some point in the future to read our thoughts on the original beverage in the blue can, then welcome! Happy Easter or 4th of July or whatever magical time of year you happen to be reading this.

Once again, there's a video review at the bottom of this post with more info than I'll be writing here, but I'll still throw you a bone and drop some bullet points. First, neither beverage is super sweet. Neither one is bursting with flavor. They're both quite subtle. You'll note that they're relatively low in calories, the red can with 80 and the blue can with only 60, respectively.

They both have fruit juices and cane sugar. The blue version is a faint pineapple and orange flavor, with Sonia noting that there's a grapefruit-esque essence and slight aftertaste. The red can tastes like orange to her while I note more cranberry flavor and a faint blend of holiday spices—like Wassail Punch, but not quite as good or as flavorful.

Each can is $1.99. I give Trader Joe's Something Spritzy original and festive editions seven and a half out of ten...and that might be a feel-good holiday-style don't-wanna-be-a-Scrooge kinda score. Sonia gives the red can a generous eight out of ten and the blue can seven and a half.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Original: 7.5 out of 10.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Festive: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Stars

For a dude who doesn't really like dark chocolate or crispy cookies all that much, I sure eat a lot of dark chocolate and crispy cookies. But shoot, I do it all in the name of intrepid food reviewing.

I try to be objective and informative enough that even if I don't thoroughly enjoy a product, I give you enough info that you can guess whether you'd like it or not.

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In this case, if you like crispy, crumbly shortbread and dark chocolate, there's absolutely no reason these won't be your favorite Christmas cookies ever. Me? Yeah, they're kinda exactly what I expected.

And I wasn't expecting to be thrilled. But hey, it's the holiday season and we're going to accentuate the positive and all that. These cookies have been an end-of-the-year mainstay at Trader Joe's for many years.

$4.99 for the 16 oz box. Wouldn't buy again, personally, but I totally get it if you're a fan. More dark chocolate stars for you, I say. 

I give Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Stars six and a half out of ten stars. Sonia will go with seven and a half out of ten.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.