Trader Joe's Seafood Boil

You know what my favorite type of seafood is? Corn on the cob. Ah, it'll be harvest time soon and we'll be casting our nets in the bay and pulling those ears of corn out by the hundreds. Yum. Then we'll boil them up along with a bunch of other ocean critters like sausage and potatoes, similar to what we have here with this quaint, seasonal Trader Joe's product.

Matter of fact, it might be done for the year right now. No matter. This review will still be good next year if this product comes back. There might still be a few stragglers out there in TJ's freezers here and there. I'm not sure how that works, quite frankly, and I don't care. Or like the beautiful wifey and me, you might have this sitting in the back of your freezer at home and you're wondering when to boil it up.

Like my old man always said, "There's no time like the present." Sounds good. Let's fire up the big black pot on the stove and get boiling.

The only authentic cajun style cooking I've really ever had was at The Gumbo Pot at the Farmers Market in Los Angeles. I'm not calling it authentic myself. My old friends with their extended family from Louisiana told me it was legit, and it seemed pretty tasty to me. Catfish. Gumbo. Crawfish. You name it, they served it, and it was very flavorful, spicy, and delicious.

This Trader Joe's product? Oddly, the only element that seemed to really flaunt any cajun spice was the sausage, and as many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of pork sausage. The texture and taste of the seafood was fine, but none of it was really bursting with sassy Southern spices. The potatoes were soft and unoffensive, but again, not particularly flavorful. The corn on the cob was interesting. If anything, it absorbed more of the cajun spices than anything else, but still, it begged for a dusting of chile lime or cayenne pepper.

It's a fair amount of food, but Sonia and I easily polished it off in a single sitting. There were only three little corn on the cob pieces in the whole mix, four slices of sausage, a half dozen shrimp, and three or four pieces of each other element. For ten bucks, it's a little steep for grocery store fare.

Again, this was a seasonal item which may or may not be back for next year. We had it in the back of the freezer and there are my thoughts, for whatever they're worth. Sonia ate her portion without complaint but she had to add plenty of extra seasonings. She'll throw out six out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Seafood Boil. I'll go with five out of ten.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats

When I first found out Latinos eat "lengua," I was like, "Oh, is it a beef patty shaped like a tongue or something..?" Then I found out it's, you know, like actual cow tongue. So when I saw that these were "lingue crackers," I was like, "Oh no! Please tell me the Italians don't eat crackers made of dried cow tongue!" And sure enough, they don't. These crackers are named after the Italian word for "tongue" simply because of their shape. Phew.

And they're pretty good, you know? They're nothing to write home about in and of themselves, but by that same token, these are the first crackers I've ever tried with olives baked into them. No, wait. Scratch that. These are the second crackers I've tried with olives baked into them. But these are significantly better in my honest opinion.

They're salty and savory with just enough briny olive flavor to keep it interesting. Fancy folks might pair them with expensive creamy cheeses like Brie and exotic charcuterie stuff, but I can confirm they pair well with lowbrow toppings like cheddar or cream cheese. 

We also experimented with Swiss, havarti, and feta, and there's really no wrong answer when it comes to what cheese you should pair these crispy crackers with. They also go great with olives, surprise, surprise—Trader Joe's Garlic & Jalapeño Stuffed Olives worked pretty well.

There's a pleasant crunchiness to these crackers. They might be slightly brittle, but I'd say they're neither too soft nor too hard. They don't shatter the way some other crackers do, and they're thinner than other comparable wheat flats.

$2.99 for 5 servings, which come in a resealable plastic box. Imported from Italy. We would buy Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats Italian Lingue Crackers again. Sonia gives them nine out of ten stars, stating "These are some of the best crackers TJ's has ever put out." I don't disagree. I'll go with eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.