Trader Joe's Giardiniera

All I can think of when I see this product is that Iggy Pop track from a few years back: Gardenia. I realize it's not exactly the same word, but it's close enough that I get that bizarre, oddly-catchy chorus stuck in my head.

"Bizarre and oddly-catchy" wouldn't be entirely inaccurate if you were describing these veggies. Although the word "giardiniera" is foreign to me, the concept of spicy, pickled vegetables is not—peppers and carrots in particular. Sonia introduced me to the Mexican version—the La Morena brand—fairly early on in our relationship, and I fell in love with them. They're advertised simply as "pickled jalapeno peppers," but the small can contains carrot slices and onions, as well. La Morena has much more flavor and heat than this Trader Joe's product, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Things like pizza and pasta don't always beg for mouth-searing spiciness in the same way that many Mexican dishes do. That's when these pickled veggies come in handy. They'll spruce up just about any Italian dish that needs a little extra color and flavor—and even most American dishes for that matter.

The veggies are surprisingly crisp and crunchy considering they've been floating in liquid for a good while. The green and red peppers are noticeably limper than fresh specimens. It's the carrots, cauliflower, and pickles that flaunt an unexpected crispness. Some of the cauliflower pieces were large whole florets. I wouldn't have minded them in tinier fragments.

The liquid is predictably briny, but there's a pretty decent balance of the pickled flavor and natural veggie taste. For $1.99, this product makes a nice handy sprucer-upper to have on standby. I probably wouldn't recommend them as a stand-alone snack, although, I guess there are plenty of people who eat pickles that way, and well, there are pickles in here—pickled cucumbers, anyway. So if you'd like to expand your pickled veggie horizons, you should totally check out this jar of giardiniera.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

P.S. - Where are you, Giotto?

Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices

I'm a guy in his mid-30's, but I'll freely admit it: I like my emojis. I won't go too overboard with them, I don't think. I mean, I'm not going to try and write the rest of this review using just them, or narrate my day, or do whatever else kids do with them these days, but I'll let them slip into my every day text conversations with my wife, in my emails and whatnot.

One thing I don't like, though, is how sometimes they don't technologically translate across different platforms. Take, for instance, when Sandy sent me an email from her iPhone to my work email stating she had just tried Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices for the first time. What I got on my side, on some old Windows platform in Outlook (I'm not even sure if it's XP) was this grim-looking dull face with large eyes that were maybe crying, maybe horrified, or just getting poofy after being stung by a bee. Not sure what it was at all, but I took it as something bad, which to me wouldn't be unexpected after trying a sour mummified citric corpse slice, peel and all.

Nope. It was the hearts for eyes, big smile deal. As in, totally in love.

I'm not entirely sure that's my instinctive reaction, but I think I can muster a thumbs up overall. The package front of these zombie lemon discs say they are "moist" and "sweet." Those don't seem like entirely accurate descriptors to me. These TJ lemon slices are definitely dried out, with nary a drop of anything to be squeezed out. Robert Plant would probably be proud. But when biting through, there's still a softness and certain gumminess to them, that makes seem almost like candy. The candy vibe is kinda picked up by the added sugar which seems to accent the natural lemon flavor without going too overboard and getting too cloy.

What's kinda missing is the big, tart, citrusy bite one would expect from a lemon. Maybe that's contained more or less in the absent juice. Then again, these are fairly snackable as is, and could have multiple applications that a stronger flavor may not have. I could just as easily see these lemon slices as a garnish for a dessert - something creamy and/or had a fair amount of frosting comes to mind - as I could for simple summer salads, and maybe dishes like grilled chicken and veggies as well.

It's a decent sized package and seems a good value at about $3 for the bag. There's plenty to go around in there. These will be probably be a summer-long repeat-buy. Kinda can't wait to try them alongside some iced tea. So, perhaps in short: 🏜️🍋🔪😃👍 💵. Now it's just ⏰ for the 🥄s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Sweetened Dried Lemon Slices: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons