Trader Joe's Pineapple Salsa

That's my hand in the picture to the left. Don't you think it's attractive? I figure out of all the thousands of people who read this blog each day that at least one or two of you must know a good talent agent that represents specialty models. I don't have any experience, but I think I'm ready to start moonlighting as a hand model, a la George Costanza, Ray McKegney, or J.P. Prewitt. I currently live in the Philly metro area, but I'm willing to travel. Just click on my name in the "Contributors" section in the right side bar for my contact info. Thanks for your help, everyone. Maybe your talent agent friend will slip you a little finder's fee or something.

Actually, I was trying to make the jar look more full by holding it over my head and shuffling the little bit that was left toward the front of the jar. Sonia and I pretty much polished it off over the weekend and we forgot to take a pic of the jar until just now. But anyway, I figure it adds a bit of visual variety to our blog, right? I mean, we have great outdoor shots of TJ's foods, courtesy of Russ and Sandy. We have shots with cool tile backgrounds, and shots with hardwood backgrounds, but up to this point, I don't think we've had any featuring our hands. Now we do.

But anyway, moving along to the food review...

This is a great sweet salsa. I think the biggest problem I've seen with other sweet salsas is a tendency to either taste too much like fruit and neglect the salsa-y part of the product, or the exact opposite of that. I'm always looking for a balance. And while this product didn't taste super pineappley in my opinion, it did have a nice balance of traditional salsa flavor and sweetness. The spice-o-meter on the jar makes this salsa look medium, but it's most definitely mild. We ate it with the Longboard Chips, and they paired up quite nicely. This stuff would be great for a luau-themed pool party or some other such tropical-type gathering. Break out the leis and coconut bras!

My only complaints are: not enough heat and not enough actual pineapple flavor. Also, we went through this $1.99 jar really quickly. It would be great if there were a larger size. But in its favor: it's nice and sweet, yet it still tastes like salsa and it pairs up perfectly with white corn tortilla chips. Four stars from me. Same from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Fuji Apple Slices

Man, there's some times when I begin to feel old.

I'm not just talking about the ever-emerging bald spot, or the semi-regular chiropractic appointments. it's the other, smaller kinda stuff. Like the extra stiffness in my ankles when I wake up. Like lusting after low interest rates and not the newest gizmo I wouldn't know what to do with anyways. Or realizing there is such a thing as "I'm playing Pearl Jam too loud" when all by myself in the car or wishing the women at the bar (on the few occasions I go out) would use their "inside voice." Now, I won't reveal how old I actually am, because if I did, probably half of you out there would want to reach through whatever you're screen you're staring at right now and smack the stuff outta me, and rightfully so, and let's keep this friendly.

I bring this up because I seem old (to myself, at least), while really, I'm not. Kinda like these Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Fuji Apple Slices. They seem like old, crusty, dried up mummified remains of apples, while really, of course, they're not. Just freeze dried, however that works.

Hate to bring up a negative first, as usually that's not the way I roll, but it seems appropriate. What makes them seem old to me is the texture of them. There's a little crispiness, yeah, but there's a compressed Styrofoam quality to them that honestly reminds me of stale cereal. Of course, there's not too much of another way a dehydrated apple slice could feel, so take that for what little it's worth.

I will admit, I was pretty surprised with the taste. Like a good Fuji apple, it's a strong, vibrant flavor - tart, almost bordering on sour except for a little tinge of sweetness. Honestly, I didn't expect that for something that, based solely on appearance, seems like a dried up shell of the real deal. It's kinda like those TJ crispy oranges in that regard. But like those oranges, the complete lack of any juiciness kinda left me wanting the real deal.

I'm an apple-lovin' guy who regularly eats at least two a day, so while I appreciate what Trader Joe's is trying to pull off here, they just don't completely do it for me. This all sounds so negative, and I don't mean to be (maybe it's me being cranky - getting old again!), so let's hit some rapid-fire positives here: Great work desk stash-a-snack. Satisfies crunchy, sweet, candy cravings in healthy way. Toddler loved them. Easy to eat just a few, then put back down for later - good for snacking, but not feeding-frenzy trigger worthy. Lots of Vitamin C, less chance of scurvy. Priced okay at $3 a bag.

Sandy agrees with much of the above, adding that she wonders if they'd be good with oatmeal. Merits an experiment, I suppose, although I'm not too inclined one way or another to pick them again or not. Kinda one of those "If they fall in my cart, or the kiddo insists, I won't be upset" kinda deals. That means a middling score from us both.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Fuji Apple Slices: 5.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons