Google Tag

Search This Blog

Monday, September 19, 2011

Trader Joe's S'mores

Everyone knows what a s'more is, right? Aside from Thin Mints and generations of courageous, confident, character-filled women (hey, it's in their mission statement), s'mores probably have to be one of Girl Scout's greatest contributions to society. It may be impossible to prove that Girl Scouts invented the timeless combination of hot fire-toasty marshmallow, semi-melty chocolate and crunchy graham cracker, but they definitely popularized the concept under the name of a "Some More" (as in, "Can I have some more, please?") before being colloquially shortened to just a s'more. Today, you can't go camping or even out to the woods for a campfire and not have them. Sandy and I definitely tracked down the ingredients before setting up a tent for the night at Joshua Tree National Park on our latest vacation which, between those, some TJ chicken sausages, grill-baked potatoes, and good cheap beer courtesy, once more, from TJs, made a great campfire dinner.

It's a little curious to me, then, that these frozen desserts are marketed under the name of "S'more." No, not "S'more Ice Cream Sandwich" or even "S'more Frozen Dessert." Just "S'more." That's it. Listen, Trader Joe's, you and I both know you didn't flambé these on a stick in the middle of nowhere, so it isn't a s'more. Call me a semantic purist but you whiffed there. Also, after hearing on and on about great these were after our latest ice cream sandwich review, and these finally being in stock, and getting home quickly thereafter and putting them in the freezer right away and waiting a day or two after to pull them from the otherwise frosty realm of our good ol' reliable Kenmore to finally eat....ugh. Somewhere along the way, whether in packaging or shipping or in-store handling, you muffed this package, because all the sandwiches were obviously melted then refrozen more or less back in shape, and that wasn't my fault. Don't mess with the reviewer's package, especially when he's the self-proclaimed ice cream expert!

Regardless, they were in okay-enough shape to get an accurate gauge on them. They're definitely different from the Sublime Ice Cream Sandwiches, so allow me to compare and contrast: For one thing, while the cookie on the Subliminals (can I call them that?) were the definite highlight, on the S'mores, they were not. That's not to say that they're bad. Like the Subliminals, they were of a softer variety, which I liked but were way smaller and thinner. I wanted more cookie for my sandwich, kinda like how the graham cracker in an actual s'more is a big part of the overall taste. Also, while the ice cream portion of the Subliminals is rather plain, for the S'mores, it's much richer. In fact, it's not even ice cream, but rather gelato (less butterfat and more sugar, which can also help explain the melting issue, but still...) and has lots of marshmallow swirled in. I'd actually say too much, as it seems out of proportion flavor-wise to an actual s'more. And while there's some good chocolate swirled in and flaked around, it doesn't quite cut it for me. Of course, I'm the guy who when crafting his own s'more likes graham crackers snapped a little bigger than necessary with a big ol' chunk of Hershey's in there, with marshmallow being more of a tertiary then primary flavor, so maybe it's just me, but overall they tasted more vaguely reminiscent of a s'more than actual all that s'mores-y.

Actually, it's not just me. Sandy agrees with that notion. "I liked them because they were ice cream-y, but that's about it," she said. I concur. Given a choice between these and the Subliminals, I'd choose the Subliminals nearly every time. I mean, these aren't awful by any stretch (I do like them overall) but to me, they just miss a little too much of the mark, and I'm glad my lovely wife stands in solidarity with me on this. "I'll give them like a 2 and a half," she said. That's exactly half of what she gave the Subliminals. Me? I can't go that low, but feel okay with a 3, a full Golden Spoon less than my Subliminal score. I'd be willing to give them a second chance...whenever they come back in stock...but I won't be holding my breath, either. Disagree? All good! Leave a comment and keep it civil!

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Orange Peach Mango 100% Juice

I have a confession to make to you, dear readers. I have an addiction that I don't think I can stop. This isn't so different from you. We all have our little addictions (or perhaps, for the lighter stuff, "bad habits") ranging from pretty tame (say, like fingernail biting) to weird (teeth whitening) to just plain scary (plastic surgery, anyone?*). Way I look at it is, I'm not one to judge that much, especially because I got my own: juice. I freakin' love juice, especially the citrusy kinds. I've been known to drink a gallon of OJ by myself in a day and a half. I don't know if it's all the sugar or some deeply yet subliminally implanted fear of scurvy (probably both), but juice and me, we're good buddies. Ask Sandy. All too often, after shopping for the week and finding some alternative to water, milk or beer for our shelves, I guzzle down the entire jug with my poor wife getting nary a sprinkle of her own. Poor gal. Of course, though, we have slightly different tastes in juice. She's more a fan of different juicy blends so while I could absorb OJ on a constant drip, for her, it has to be mixed with something to make it drinkable. Otherwise, it's just too acidic and bitter for her. And oh, if it has pulp, forget about it.

Fortunately, Trader Joe's has a pretty decent juice selection ranging from sugary sweet to super healthy to, well, let's say unusual yet good. There's a lot of space for middle ground here. When Sandy and I shop, we don't always have to go the citrus route to satisfy my cravings, but when I'm really getting the DTs for a good liquid Vitamin C system shock, I know exactly what to reach for.

I love love love the Trader Joe's Orange Peach Mango 100% Juice. Love it, despite the weird placement of "100%" in its name. Love it, even though from a pure citrus standpoint it's not a be-all-end-all. Love it, even as I just polished off the carton moments before typing this, as I'm ready for more. It's really a blend of six juices from concentrate - besides the aforementioned orange, peach, and mango it also has apple (of course), grape (what doesn't have grape juice these days?) and pineapple. Altogether they form a nice orangey colored, thick, kinda cloudy free-flowing river of taste from my glass down into my belly. And the more I drink, the better it tastes. I love it. At first, the three citrus amigos are the prevalent flavor before smoothing into the peach and mango finish that erases any bitterness or acidic aftertones. I'm guessing it's grape's and apple's job to provide a good platform to make all this possible, and they do it well. The taste lingers for a while, too, if you allow it. It's good enough for me to enjoy it whether early in the morning or later in the evening. And for something like $3, definitely a good choice.

Sandy's not as big a fan as I am, but that's alright. She's enjoyed some glasses of it here and there, but I'm definitely the primary partaker of this preservative-free pasteurized potion at our homestead. In fact, I may or may not have drank the entire last carton without any spousal assistance...hrmmm...well, hopefully she won't be *too* mad. She at least recalled drinking enough of it at some point to go ahead and give it a 3, mostly because she wasn't nearly as much a fan of the citrusy aspects as I was. Other types of blends are much more to her liking. Me? I'm going with a 4.5. It doesn't completely satisfy my pure citrus cravings, but dang, it's good.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* I bet you thought that was gonna be Michael Jackson. Oh no. It gets a lot worse than him. Gadzooks!!!

You Might Like: