Trader Joe's Mini Apple Danish Pastries

If you spent any part of your formative years burning the roof of your mouth on a McDonald’s apple pie in the back seat of a station wagon, allow us to introduce you to their sophisticated European cousin. Imported straight from France, Trader Joe’s Mini Apple Danish Pastries deliver a heavy dose of nostalgia—except with actual buttery, flaky layers instead of deep-fried cardboard pocket energy.

At $4.99 for a bag of eight mini pastries, these ready-to-bake treats hit that sweet spot between casual weekend breakfast and "I spent three hours laminating dough from scratch." Bake them up for 25 minutes at 350°F, and your kitchen instantly smells like an autumnal wonderland.

The crust bakes up delightfully golden and crisp, cradling a rich, sweet apple filling. Right off the bat, both Sonia and I picked up on distinct, cozy notes of cinnamon and brown sugar. Here’s the plot twist: neither cinnamon nor brown sugar actually appears on the ingredients list. Are they stealthily hiding under the vague umbrella of "natural flavors"? Quite possibly. What does show up on the panel is caramel, which explains the warm, deep sweetness that ties the whole filling together.

A quick word of warning for fellow remote TJ’s travelers: because our nearest store isn't exactly right around the corner, our bag suffered a bit of a thaw-and-refreeze situation on the long trek home. A few of our mini pastries ended up fused together like sugary, pastry-bound soulmates. They still baked up fine, but keep those cooler bags handy if you’ve got a long drive ahead of you. It's ridiculous enough you should totally watch our video review just to have a laugh at the ginormous wad of apple danish.

These are a huge step up from drive-thru pies—fancier, flakier, and genuinely delicious. Since they’re a seasonal, limited time offering, you’ll want to grab a bag before they vanish for the season. We’d definitely buy Trader Joe's Mini Apple Danish Pastries again next fall. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me.

Bottom Line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Basque Style Cheesecakes

I've heard of the Basque region my whole life, but I never even looked up exactly where it was until now. Apparently it straddles the border between southwestern France and northern Spain. There's also an autonomous community in Spain by the same name. This product does indeed come to us from Spain, though it's not specified that it comes from the Basque region per se, hence the name Basque-style rather than just Basque.

Two hockey puck-sized discs come frozen in Trader Joe's Basque Style Cheesecakes. Simply remove from packaging and thaw, covered, in the fridge for four hours. Easy as pie...uh, I mean cake. Er, cheesecake. Anyway, the product is soft and fluffy and scrumdiddlyumptious.

It's very caramel-forward to my palate. It's sweet and tangy and slightly tart. It's quite creamy both in flavor and texture. Despite my expectations, it's much more rich, indulgent, and dense than Trader Joe's Japanese Soufflé Cheesecakes. That's just fine by me. As much as I enjoyed trying those Japanese dealies, they just didn't deliver the comfort food euphoria that I'm looking for in cheesecake.

These did. They're like a fluffy custard made with cheese spread, egg, cream, and sugar. There's a hint of browning on the top of the dessert, but the inside is just sumptuous smooth sweet cream. Delicious.

There's no breading here of any kind. In fact, the product is labeled as gluten free. As much as I love breading and/or graham cracker crusts, these smooth, circular snacks don't suffer for want of a carby coating. I suppose you could throw some kind of berries or whipped cream on top if you wanted to jazz them up a bit, but honestly, they don't need it. They're simple but scrumptious as they are.

$4.99 for two frozen cheesecakes. Product of Spain. Gluten free. Available for a limited time only, though I'd hope they'd consider keeping this around all year. Would buy again. Eight and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Basque Style Cheesecakes. The beautiful wifey will go with eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's London Fog Concentrate

It wasn't all that long ago when I discovered the London Fog drink. Traditionally, it's Earl Grey tea, milk, vanilla, and sweetener of your choice. I made a few using Trader Joe's Bourbon Vanilla Extract a couple years ago and was quite pleased with the results. Sonia has whipped up a London Fog or two of her own in the recent past and those were quite tasty, too. She's had a few from local coffee shops and generally likes the beverage. I don't think I've ever had one from a coffee place or a pre-mixed version prior to this offering from TJ.

To prepare Trader Joe's London Fog Tea Drink Concentrate, simply mix one part concentrate to two parts milk or non-dairy milk alternative. Serve over ice for a latte or heat it all up for a traditional hot tea beverage. Predictably, I preferred it cold and the beautiful wifey liked it better hot.

The result is surprisingly sweet. There's plenty of bright citrus and smooth, earthy Earl Grey underneath it, but the cane sugar and vanilla are more dominant than I expected. There's also a bit of extra citrus essence thanks to bergamot oil, lemon extract, and lemon juice concentrate. Earl Grey itself usually has some bergamot and citrus, and these extra ingredients helped accentuate the citrusy undertones.

We made ours with good old-fashioned cow's milk, which gave the drink a nice creamy body and helped mellow out some of that citrusy Earl Grey bite. But the beauty of a London Fog is that you can customize it to your heart's content. Oat milk would probably be a particularly good fit here, adding a little natural sweetness and a creamy texture that plays nicely with the vanilla. Almond milk might make things a bit lighter and nuttier, while soy milk could provide a fuller, creamier result of its own. Coconut milk might introduce a more pronounced tropical note, which could either complement the vanilla or compete with the bergamot, depending on your personal preferences. Your mileage may vary, of course, but there's plenty of room to experiment with this one.

$2.99 for the 16 oz bottle. Makes four 12 oz beverages after mixing with milk. Kosher. Keep refrigerated after opening. Sonia says Trader Joe's London Fog reminds her of the Earl Grey latte she used to get regularly from The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf many years ago, and she's a big fan of both. She'll go with eight and a half stars for Trader Joe's London Fog Tea Drink Concentrate. I'm not gonna argue with that.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Everything But the Bartender Paloma

It's a bonus weekend review! Not something we do very often, but I figure why not? Neither the beautiful wifey nor I have ever had a paloma before, though we've frequently had all the ingredients on hand and could've made one ourselves many times over. It's grapefruit juice, lime juice, tequila, sparkling water, and salt. It's essentially a margarita made with grapefruit juice instead of orange liqueur.

And Trader Joe's Everything But the Bartender Paloma is most definitely sweet—nearly syrupy sweet with agave. Sonia was surprised how sweet it is. I'd say it's pretty much on par with the sweetness level of Trader Joe's Everything But the Bartender Lime Margarita, reviewed just last year on this blog. I kind of like the grapefruit twist, to be honest. I never even knew a grapefruit margarita was a thing, and I certainly didn't know it was called a "paloma."

Sonia wishes it were less sweet but also admits that once her ice melts about halfway, it's just about perfect. She likes it just a tad more than the above-mentioned margarita. I'd have to agree. Looks like the Cosmopolitan is Sonia's favorite out of the three, while I'd have to say it's my least favorite. We've also reviewed Trader Joe's Everything But the Bartender Gin & Tonic.

The format of these Everything But the Bartender drinks is quite convenient, and there's no guesswork as far as mixing ratios or anything like that. In this case, each drink winds up costing about two and a half bucks, so you're talking about way less money than you'd drop if you were buying something like this at a bar or a club. They err on the side of sweet rather than stiff or strong or bitter.

$9.99 for the four pack of 200 mL cans. 15% alcohol by volume. I think this is more of a summer libation than an autumn one, but it was still on shelves as of our big TJ's run last month. Might buy again. I'm glad they actually show the ingredients since alcoholic beverages are not required to do so, and they genuinely look like very high quality contents. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Everything But the Bartender Paloma.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread

We used to buy Trader Joe's Pumpkin Cream Cheese Spread pretty regularly in the 2010s. We reviewed it 13 years ago on this very blog. Sonia and I took a long break from purchasing the product and now we're back at it trying this one. They've added the word "spice" to the title: Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread.

The Google search AI informed me that it's basically been the exact same product all along...except it totally isn't. It's similar, but if you click that link in the first line of this review, you'll see that the ingredients, while comparable, are not exactly the same. The nutrition information is different, too. This current product has the exact same serving size yet contains more calories and fat per two tablespoons.

Sonia and I both remember the version from 13 years ago being nearly whipped in consistency while this one is much denser, more like traditional cream cheese spread. It's got a nice balance of creamy tanginess and pumpkin spices. I'd say flavor-wise, it's very similar to that spread we reviewed all those years ago.

It doesn't overdo the pumpkin or the pumpkin spice. There's enough of both to know exactly what you're eating, but neither one comes across like it's trying to kick you in the face with a pumpkin spice latte. The cream cheese itself still comes through, which I appreciate. Sometimes these seasonal spreads can get a little too carried away with the flavor-of-the-month thing and forget they're supposed to be cream cheese.

We've mostly been using it on toast and bagels, although I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to put this stuff to work. It's sweet enough to feel a little indulgent but not so sweet that it becomes dessert. And with that creamy, tangy cream cheese underneath all those familiar fall spices, it's a pretty easy thing to keep reaching back into the fridge for. Basically, if you're a pumpkin spice person, this one makes sense. It pairs nicely with the pumpkin sourdough toast in case you were wondering.

$2.79 for the 8 oz tub. Kosher. Would buy again. Sonia will throw out eight out of ten stars on this one. I'll spring for eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Plum Torte

So apparently, tortes and tartes are totally different things. They're both baked goods that can prominently feature fruit, but tortes often contain decadent fillings like ganache, mousse, or chocolate. A torte is a type of cake, while a tarte is a type of pastry. Tartes are French in origin, while tortes hail from Austria and Germany.

Trader Joe's Plum Torte, however, comes to us from Canada. Unlike traditional tortes, this one uses a wheat flour base instead of ground nuts. This is, in fact, the very first torte that Sonia and I have ever had, so we really can't vouch for its authenticity.

But we can vouch for its scrumptiousness. Absolutely divine. From frozen, bake for 20 minutes at 350°F and you've got a stellar dessert for six people.

The crust gets a little firm and almost crunchy on the outside, yet it's soft and moist on the inside. It's sweet and oh-so-buttery. It's just fine by itself...but the plum filling is even better. The beautiful wifey and I were both skeptical that the texture of the plums—particularly their skins—would be melt-in-the-mouth delicious. We feared something leathery, chewy, and/or stringy that could ruin the mouthfeel of the dessert. One bite and we realized our fears were totally unfounded.

The plum filling is at least as good as the breading. It's like a sweet jelly with real plums baked right in. Please watch the video review embedded in this post to see tons of close up shots of the torte in action. Certain bites feature what appear to be entire plums. Delicious.

Our biggest complaint? Not every bite contains plums. Once you've had a bite or two with huge amounts of the plums and the filling, you suddenly want every bite to be bursting with the fruit, but they're just not distributed very evenly. They're tart and sweet and almost reminiscent of a berry medley in terms of flavor.

This toothsome treat does not need any help in our humble opinions, but if you were so inclined, we're quite certain whipped cream or a scoop of vanilla ice cream would make this dish even more delectable. We'll try it that way next time. It's nearly plum perfect as is.

Eight bucks for this big 1 lb 2.7 oz box. Product of Canada. Kosher. Would buy again. This is a Thanksgiving Dinner caliber dessert by our reckoning. I wouldn't be ashamed of bringing this as my contribution to the dessert table alongside Turkey Day legends like apple pie and pumpkin pie. The beautiful wifey and I both gave Trader Joe's Plum Torte eight and a half stars out of ten during the recording of our video review. Having reheated and re-tasted it, in retrospect, I'd give it a nine.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Apple Pie à la Mode Ice Cream

Well, folks, apple season has officially arrived at Trader Joe’s, and this time they’ve taken one of the greatest combinations known to mankind—apple pie and vanilla ice cream—and stuffed the whole thing into a pint. If apple pie a la mode is really just apple pie with ice cream, then wouldn't this technically be Trader Joe's Apple Pie with Ice Cream Flavored Ice Cream..? I mean, it's kinda redundant, no? Meh. Semantics.

This applicious frozen dessert starts with a rich vanilla ice cream base, then adds sweetened spiced apple pieces, pie crust pieces, and an apple cinnamon and nutmeg swirl. Basically somebody took a slice of apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it and said, “Yeah, but what if we just eliminated the plate?”

I’ve seen some people complain that this doesn’t have enough cinnamon and spice and everything nice. I respectfully disagree. I thought the cinnamon level was pretty much perfect. You definitely get the cinnamon-spiced apple flavor, but it doesn’t completely overwhelm the vanilla ice cream. And the overall flavor is outstanding: milky vanilla, brown sugar, cinnamon, and sweet apple all working together very nicely.

The apple pieces are particularly good. They taste like actual sweet apples rather than some weird artificial apple-flavored substance. They also pick up some of that cinnamon-spiced apple flavor, which makes them taste even more like the filling from an actual apple pie.

Our biggest complaint? Sonia and I both wish there were more apple and more pie crust pieces. The pie pieces that are in there have a nice texture: not too soggy, not too hard, and just enough chewiness to remind you that, yes, there is supposed to be pie in this ice cream.

We did encounter a few sections of the pint that seemed a little icy, which was weird. Thankfully, those spots were pretty sparse and didn't ruin the experience. The vanilla ice cream itself is good, sweet, creamy, and basically nothing to complain about. It provides a nice backdrop for all the apple pie goodness without getting in the way.

At $3.99 for the pint, Trader Joe’s Apple Pie a la Mode Ice Cream is a pretty easy recommendation if you’re an apple cinnamon fan. It’s also kosher. The beautiful wifey gives it eight and a half out of ten stars. I’m giving it eight and a half as well. We’re tough graders, especially when it comes to ice cream, so anything above an eight from us means this one is definitely worth checking out. Get some more spiced apple and pie crust pieces in there, and this would be Pantheon material, easily.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Sourdough Bread

Trader Joe’s Sliced Pumpkin Sourdough Bread is one of those products that sounds like it could go horribly wrong. Pumpkin. Sourdough. Together. That could easily become some sort of aggressively spiced autumn monstrosity that tastes like a candle smells. Thankfully, that’s not what we have here.

Trader Joe’s Sliced Pumpkin Sourdough Bread is actually pretty darn pleasant. The bread is nice and soft, with a texture that isn’t too dense or heavy. It has a subtle pumpkin flavor and just enough of that familiar pumpkin spice thing happening to let you know it’s a seasonal product without beating you over the head with cinnamon and nutmeg.

If you're looking for an indulgent pumpkin breakfast or sweet snack bread, we recommend Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist. There’s also a faint sweetness here, but this is definitely not dessert bread. You’re not going to bite into a slice and think, “Well, I guess dinner is canceled because I just ate pie.” And that makes it surprisingly versatile.

We really liked it as a sandwich bread. One of our favorite combinations was sliced turkey deli meat, mozzarella cheese, spinach, and mayo. The mild sweetness of the pumpkin sourdough works nicely with the savory turkey and cheese, while the spinach adds a little freshness and the mayo brings everything together. Basically, it turns an ordinary turkey sandwich into a turkey sandwich that has spent the afternoon at the pumpkin patch.

We also tried it as French toast, and yes, it works. The bread soaks up the egg mixture nicely and brings a subtle fall flavor to the finished product. But honestly, when it comes to French toast, I think Sonia and I both prefer Trader Joe’s Apple Cinnamon Sourdough. That one just feels more specifically designed for the job.

Still, this Pumpkin Sourdough is a very solid seasonal bread. It’s soft, flavorful, mildly sweet, reasonably versatile and, most importantly, it doesn’t go completely pumpkin spice bonkers.

Not everything with pumpkin in it needs to taste like a Yankee Candle. Thankfully, this doesn’t. Would buy again. Product of Canada. Five bucks for the pre-sliced loaf. Sonia and I both give Trader Joe’s Sliced Pumpkin Sourdough Bread eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Kimbap

Nate's Notes: Post updated. New pic and paragraph below.

Good morning, folks! It's time to look at Trader Joe's Kimbap. Neither Sonia nor I had ever tried this dish before, but we both like sushi so we decided to give it a whirl. This one's primarily a video review in stunning 4K resolution but for those of you who just want to relax and read, here's a few paragraphs on our findings...

This Asian dish comes frozen and it thaws in 2-3 minutes in the microwave. The packaging recommends serving it hot or cold while Koreans who know the dish say it should be served at room temperature. I found hot or room temperature worked great while chilling the kimbap in the fridge made the mouthfeel a little funky.

Still, the taste and texture are remarkable considering it comes frozen solid. There's an unexpected sweetness to the dish—akin to sesame sauce—plus all the rich veggie flavors you get from tofu, burdock root, carrot, radish, spinach, and seaweed. It's filling, satisfying, convenient, and reasonably priced at $3.99 for nine big sushi-roll-esque discs.

Update: we purchased this product again just so we could try it pan fried. With this preparation method, you only microwave for one minute from frozen. Then apply egg wash and fry on each side 2-3 minutes. The result is absolutely scrumptious. The product is more structurally stable this way and packs even more savory flavors. See pic below.

Product of Korea. The packaging and traderjoes.com only specify that it's vegetarian, but there's nothing in the ingredients that wouldn't be vegan, and other actual vegans out in cyberspace have declared that it is, in fact, vegan. I give Trader Joe's Kimbap eight out of ten stars while the beautiful wifey will go with nine out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shelled Edamame

Trader Joe's Shelled Edamame come frozen. They've had a few other edamame products throughout the years, some of which came refrigerated, but this one is our favorite so far. These edamame are on par with stuff we've had from Japanese restaurants—very high quality. They're not too pricey at $2.29 for the 12 oz bag, and they're a good source of fiber and protein.

Sonia boiled ours in salted water for about four minutes. We had them with rice, salmon burgers, and a cucumber salad the other day, and it was filling and satisfying without feeling heavy at all.

Like all good edamame, these soybeans are slightly firm on the outside, tender on the inside, and flaunt a nutty veggie umami flavor that goes great with grains and bases like rice, quinoa, or noodles. We usually eat them with fish, but they also pair well with proteins like chicken and tofu.

They’re super versatile. Toss them into a stir fry, throw them into a poke bowl, or blend them up into a vibrant green edamame hummus if you’re feeling adventurous. Some might call me a soy boy for stocking up on these little green legumes, but when a healthy food tastes this good and takes practically zero effort to make, I’ll wear that badge proudly.

Whether you’re looking for a quick weeknight side dish or just want an easy way to bump up the protein and fiber in your meal prep, these are an absolute freezer staple. You really can’t beat having a bag of restaurant-quality edamame ready to go whenever the craving hits.

Product of Thailand. $2.29. We'd both buy Trader Joe's Shelled Edamame again. Eight out of ten stars from me. Eight and a half stars from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Creamy Corn

Even though Trader Joe's Creamy Corn is ideal as a Thanksgiving side dish, who's to say you can't have a harvest-themed meal or two in the fall months leading up to Turkey Day? What if you feel like eating sweet corn with a creamy cheese sauce just because it's Thursday? That's kinda what Sonia and I did yesterday.

And we were impressed. This four dollar bag of corn and cheese comes frozen and includes three different sets of cooking instructions on the back of the bag: stovetop, microwave, and conventional oven. Stovetop seemed like the logical choice. Just cut open the bag, empty the contents into a large skillet, cover with lid, and heat for 5-7 minutes. Ours took roughly 10 minutes to come to a steady simmer, but we've got an electric range and it can take a bit longer to heat things up.

The sauce isn't crazy thick, which Sonia and I both thought was a good thing. It didn't feel heavy or overly indulgent. There's just enough cheese to keep things interesting. Cream is, in fact, the second ingredient, followed by skim milk. There's also white cheese and cheddar cheese in the mix. The seasonings include shallot, sea salt, and white pepper. It's a nice flavor if you're looking for something sweet, slightly tangy, and subtly savory. A dash of your own black pepper, hot sauce, or something like Trader Joe's Everything But the Elote doesn't hurt if you're craving a bit of extra sass.

The texture of the corn was very nice. It felt surprisingly fresh. It had a nice bite to it, kind of crisp, and ever so slightly waxy. It wasn't a soggy mush like other creamed corn dishes can be, nor was it overly chewy. It mixed well with other veggies like peas and mashed potatoes, and it blended seamlessly with our other Thanksgiving-esque fare including turkey, gravy, and stuffing.

The "best by" date on our bag was well over a year in the future from our purchase date, so if you've got a big freezer, it would be easy to stock up. $3.99 for the 14 oz bag. Product of Italy. Sonia and I would both buy Trader Joe's Creamy Corn again. It's a-maize-ing. Eight and a half stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Bun Oat Creamer

All right, fall fanatics. Here's a limited time seasonal product review for you. Trader Joe's Cinnamon Bun Non-Dairy Oat Creamer is back by popular demand for the autumn 2026 season. I'm pretty sure this is the third annual appearance of this nondairy cinnamon roll flavored creamer. It's sweet and scrumptious and makes plain old coffee taste like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.

For just two bucks, you get 16 ounces of this oat-based kosher vegan coffee additive. The sugar and oats combine for a pastry-esque essence that does bring at least the suggestion of a real cinnamon bun. The spices are warm and aromatic and not overbearing in any way.

It's silky and smooth—just thick enough you can froth it up a bit. There's some pea protein in the ingredients, but it doesn't show up in the flavor profile, thank goodness. It's agreeable enough with coffee, but I suppose you could have it with tea or even cold brews. The beautiful wifey liked putting a splash or two on her oatmeal.

If I'm going to have coffee, I still prefer traditional dairy creamers, but I must admit this stuff isn't bad. I grew up with alternative milks and have had plenty of oat milk and nondairy foods and desserts throughout the years. This is great for folks with many dietary restrictions: it's dairy-free, lactose-free, gluten-free, kosher, and vegan. If you're sensitive to seed oils, you might wanna sit this one out.

Also check out: Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Brown Sugar Oat Creamer.

As many of you know, my wife Sonia is the resident coffee aficionada and is, predictably, far more into this product than I am, so we'll just let her score this one solo. She would buy Trader Joe's Cinnamon Bun Oat Creamer again. She'll throw out eight and a quarter stars for this buzzworthy alternative to conventional coffee creamer.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mango & Passion Fruit Squares

Straight outta Thailand, Trader Joe's Mango & Passion Fruit Squares will run you $2.29 for 17 little bite-sized treats. True to the name, they are indeed square-shaped, measuring 1.25" x 1.25" and weighing just over 9 grams a piece. They're individually wrapped AND they come in a resealable bag for a multi-layered defense against spoilage and dryness.

Upon unsealing the bag, you'll note the sweet-tart scents of mango and passionfruit wafting out from the package. I was expecting something akin to fruit leather in terms of texture, but these tangy tidbits are softer and moister than any other fruit snack I've ever tried. They're sweet and a little sour, and mango and passionfruit are the top two ingredients. There's also some added sugar, but it's far from excessive. 35 total calories per square isn't bad.

The fruit snacks are extremely sticky and sometimes difficult to remove from their little pouches. They're soft enough that they easily tear into pieces with certain sections sticking to your fingers while other portions remain glued to the inside of the plastic wrapper. If you're eating these on the go, you'll want wet naps on standby. The back of the bag proudly declares that they "won't make a mess!" It's a bald-faced lie, I tell you.

These morsels are mostly smooth dried fruit, but certain bites contain noticeable fibrous threads. I guess other dried fruit like dates and figs have similar fibers, but mango tends to have them quite a bit. Not a dealbreaker by any means, but the fibers are about the only things that remind you this is real fruit and not soft, chewy sugar candy.

Would buy again. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Mango & Passion Fruit Squares eight out of ten stars. I'll go with eight out of ten stars too just for the value alone. Each square costs less than 14 cents. I'm guessing these will disappear pretty soon, so grab 'em before they're replaced with something that begins with "Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice" fill in the blank...

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pineapple Coconut Bars

Ryan Hall says September is going to be abnormally hot for most of the USA. If you're like Sonia and me that means it's still tropical popsicle season. Apple, pumpkin, and sweet potato can wait a few more weeks until the air gets a bit cooler. But if you're one of those poor, misguided individuals that just has to get your PSL on the moment the kids are back at school, then sit back, relax, and click play on our Ultimate Fall Foods Playlist on YouTube. Or take a gander at some classic written reviews of fall stuff—much of which has already returned to Trader Joe's—right here on our blog.

For the rest of you, we're here to tell you that Trader Joe's Pineapple Coconut Bars are refreshing and tasty, and they've got pretty decent ingredients and non-threatening nutritionals. At just 90 calories per bar, I'd say they're worth checking out.

They're pretty pineapple forward. That might be our biggest complaint. The coconut cream gets overshadowed by the pineapple juice concentrate in the flavor profile. Sonia wishes there were coconut shavings throughout the bar to add more coconut flavor and some texture. I don't disagree.

The coconut adds a nice thickness to the texture and a greater level of creaminess than I expected. These are not just frozen juice popsicles. They're sweet and smooth, and they really hit the spot for any "beat-the-heat" type situation. I just wish the actual coconut flavor were there in a bigger way. It's not really a piña colada vibe. It's more like PINEAPPLE with a whisper of coconut cream.

There is something undeniably satisfying about eating a frozen treat when it's 95 degrees outside and the humidity is doing its best to turn you into a damp towel. These are particularly good for that kind of weather because they're not so heavy or rich that you feel like you've made a terrible mistake halfway through eating one. Grab a couple, sit outside, and pretend you're on a tropical island instead of standing in your backyard watching your neighbor mow his lawn.

Sonia and I would both buy Trader Joe's Pineapple Coconut Bars again. $3.79 for six individually-wrapped popsicles. Gluten free. Kosher. Vegan. I'll throw out eight stars once again. The beautiful wifey will spring for eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Chili Black-Eyed Pea Tempeh Chips

I've always been an adventurous eater. A lot of it was because of some food sensitivities I had when I was younger. I was constantly being fed alternative grains, milks, meats, and what my friends considered "health food." Some of it was definitely delicious...and some of it was downright disgusting.

But eating, for me, was all about the discovery of new things. While my friends stuck with old standbys, I was drinking goat milk, rice milk, and oat milk decades before they were cool. I was eating bison burgers while my peers were eating McDonald's for the fourth time in a week. As far as grains were concerned, wheat was forbidden by my parents for most of my childhood. I ate rice bread, millet bread, and pancakes made with amaranth flour, among other things.

Even so, I'd never even heard of foods like seitan and tempeh until I befriended a group of vegetarians and vegans while living in Wilmington, NC in my early twenties. They introduced me to dishes that included tofu and soybean-based tempeh. I can still count on one hand the number of times I've had tempeh since then, but I'll never forget my first time trying it. I liked it. Didn't love it—but I liked it.

Apparently, Trader Joe's Sweet Chili Tempeh Chips are made with black-eyed peas rather than soybeans. That's just fine with me. I just realized two things while researching basic info about tempeh: 1) tempeh is fermented and uses a "starter culture" somewhat akin to sourdough and 2) tempeh is a traditional Indonesian food—and this product is indeed imported from Indonesia.

That said, these are very tasty chips. They're gluten free, they come in a resealable bag, and they're surprisingly spicy. There's definitely a sweet chili flavor not unlike your typical sweet Thai chili sauce, although not quite as syrupy sweet. Underneath, there's a good bit of saltiness and the earthy, nutty essence of black-eyed peas.

They're crispy and crunchy and remind me a bit of other bean-based chips—like traditional chips or crisps but denser and a bit more hearty. There's a faint dusting of powdery garlic and paprika on the surface of the chips and they're just mildly oily, too. They've got coconut oil but I wouldn't say any coconut shows up in the flavor profile in any meaningful way.

$3.49 for the 3 oz resealable bag. Gluten free. Product of Indonesia. Sonia and I would buy this again, but we fully recognize this is a product that won't be for everyone. If spicy chips made with black-eyed peas sound intriguing, we say give 'em a try. I can't imagine these will be at Trader Joe's forever, but I wouldn't be upset if they were. Eight out of ten stars from both Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Sweet Chili Black-Eyed Pea Tempeh Chips.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.