Trader Joe's Gözlemes

When I first saw these, I was thinking they might be like the Turkish version of a cheese blintz. They're not too far off in terms of texture, but blintzes tend to be sweet and gözlemes, I've gathered, are savory. This version features authentic Turkish flatbread stuffed with tulum, kashkaval, and mozzarella cheeses.

It's a delicious combination. It's much more like the Turkish version of a quesadilla or a grilled cheese sandwich than a blintz. In fact, I'd say it's right in between the two. A gözleme is thicker than a quesadilla but not quite as thick as your typical grilled cheese. It's a bit oily and buttery, salty, creamy, and tangy. The three cheese combo yields something akin to melty mozzarella, texture-wise, but it's much tangier and flavorful than mozzarella alone. The flavor is something along the lines of feta, another great Mediterranean cheese.

The flatbread gets nice and crispy on the outside during preparation. It's phyllo-esque in some respects but also doughier than typical phyllo. There's a chewy element to it, but it's very pleasant. Goes great with the cheeses.

This product does indeed come from Turkey. It's apparently a popular type of street food found throughout the nation. It's often stuffed with various meats or veggies like spinach or potatoes. They typically grill the flatbread and its fillings on a griddle and serve it hot. Preparation instructions for this Trader Joe's offering state explicitly that it's to be prepared from frozen on the stovetop rather than the microwave or conventional oven. I'd go out on a limb and guess they don't want you to toss it in the air fryer either, although I'm certain someone out there has tried it. I was tempted myself but resisted the urge.

Sonia heated ours on her nonstick skillet. Instructions said to "place in dry pan" and she did...and lo and behold, it stuck to her pan. I mean, it wasn't a total nightmare. She got the product off of the pan and onto our plate pretty much entirely intact. Subsequent attempts were even more successful when the HexClad was called up for duty. The product is fairly oily on its own and probably isn't begging to be deep fried or anything like that.

We plowed through all three gözlemes within 24 hours of opening the box, so that's a testament to its scrumptiousness, I'd say. In our video review, we muse about what condiments might work with it. In the same way I like Mexican salsa with my quesadillas, I wanted a Mediterranean hot sauce with this product. I pondered whether it might work with Trader Joe's Tunisian Harissa Paste. Sonia thought it would pair well with Trader Joe's Italian Bomba Sauce. Since we had some of the bomba on hand, we were able to confirm subsequently that they do indeed go very well together. I still wanna try it with harissa.

The beautiful wifey and I would both buy this product again. $4.99 for three cheese-stuffed flatbreads, found in the frozen section. Product of Turkey. Eight and a half out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Gözlemes. I'll go with eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Macaron Ice Cream Sandwiches

Never had a macaron ice cream sandwich before. As you might have guessed these are two macaron "shells" with ice cream in the middle instead of your typical buttercream or fruit jam filling. Both the cookie element and the ice cream element are chocolate-flavored. It's chocolate on chocolate on chocolate.

It's a chocoholic's dream come true. The quality is there, and the taste and texture don't disappoint. In true macaron fashion, we have a slightly stiff egg white and almond flour outer layer. It's sugary and just faintly sticky to the touch. It gives way to a softer cookie underneath, and of course, provided you allow your ice cream sandwich to thaw for the recommended five minutes, the ice cream layer is soft, velvety, and creamy.

In terms of the flavor, it seems somewhere in between your typical milk chocolate and dark chocolate. It is sweet for sure, but there's plenty of that earthy, slightly bitter cocoa taste as well. It's rich and luxurious. Very pleasant even for Sonia and me, and neither of us really gravitates toward chocolate as far as our favorite dessert flavors are concerned.

I kinda wish Trader Joe's had done the Oreo thing and used chocolate cookies with vanilla ice cream in the middle. Raspberry, blueberry, or vanilla macarons would have been A-OK with this guy. Or how about a speculoos cookie butter macaron ice cream sandwich..?

As far as I can tell, this product is domestic, while certain other macarons we've reviewed from Trader Joe's have been imported from France. In any case, this is a quality offering that chocolate fans will no doubt adore.

We'd buy it again even if it's just this chocolate flavor, and we would most definitely check out any additional varieties if TJ's ever rolls them out. $4.99 for two individually wrapped desserts, found in the frozen section...obviously. Sonia and I both give Trader Joe's Macaron Ice Cream Sandwiches eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Stuffed Poblano Peppers

Not to be confused with Trader Joe's Chiles Rellenos con Queso, which come frozen and have an egg batter coating, these stuffed chiles are also made with large poblano peppers but they come refrigerated, have no outer breading, and are stuffed not only with Monterey Jack cheese but also chicken, rice, corn, and a creamy cilantro sauce. Sonia's more familiar with that other kind of chile relleno, but she thinks this variation on the dish might hail from a different region of Mexico.

Only microwave and conventional oven instructions are given on the box, but we tried our hand at the air fryer and these stuffed peppers came out great. The package comes with two poblanos and we tossed them both into our Ninja for 12 minutes at 375°F. Google's AI Overview mentioned you could turn it up to 400° if you wanted your peppers extra crispy.

The chicken, rice, cheese, corn, and sauce medley in the middle of the pepper is excellent. There's a generous amount of white meat chicken chunks and the overall flavor is well balanced. The roasted poblano shell flaunts a nice smoky, earthy flavor that complements the inner portions of the dish.

And now it's complaint time. The texture of the pepper was the only thing we had a problem with. Parts of it were a little tough—almost leathery. In stark contrast to the soft, well-cooked chicken, the pepper itself was very difficult to cut with just a fork and it was a tad harder to chew than Sonia and I would have liked. Still, it's not a dealbreaker. We admit it might have been our chosen heating method that rendered the odd texture. Perhaps the conventional oven might have made the pepper more pleasant, or maybe we should have turned up the temp on the air fryer a tad higher.

In the end, that's our only complaint. This Mexican-inspired meal gets a thumbs up from both me and the beautiful wifey. It'll run you seven bucks for this nearly restaurant quality dish. Perfect dinner for two on a budget. We'd buy it again. Eight and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars

I had very low expectations going into this one. Although nothing to complain about, I think Trader Joe's Brookie, with its nearly identical packaging and presentation, is a tad overrated. And I really wanted to like the Black Sesame Mochi, but its excessively earthy undertones overshadowed the sweetness of the ice cream by my estimation.

So I was skeptical, at best, of a blondie bar flaunting black tea as its primary flavor. I mean, I have nothing against Earl Grey. I like a London Fog once in a while. I'll even drink it plain if I just need an afternoon pick-me-up and don't want to add unnecessary calories. But I simply don't think of Earl Grey tea as a dessert flavor. Not by a long shot.

Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars proved me wrong. There is, indeed, an earthy, slightly bitter essence at the core of these blondies, but it compliments the sweet vanilla caramel cookie flavors of the dessert quite well. The Earl Grey black tea adds richness and complexity without stealing the show.

They were perfect straight out of the plastic box, but Sonia discovered they're even better dunked in a piping hot mug of Earl Grey. The tea enhances the flavors and the liquid makes the soft texture even better. We plowed through the box very quickly making sure it was fairly divided equally between the two of us.

$3.49 for eight blondie bars, found in the baked goods section. Limited time release. Kosher. Would buy again. Sonia gives this product eight and a half out of ten stars. I'll follow suit with eight and a half as well for Trader Joe's Earl Grey Blondie Bars.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Lefse Norwegian Potato Flatbread

$3.99 gets you 10 sheets of soft potato flatbread imported from Norway. It actually tastes like potato. According to traderjoes.com about 80% of the bread is potato. There's also some wheat flour, milk, salt, and yeast.

Trader Joe's Lefse Norwegian Potato Flatbread is incredibly pliable and supple. It bends and folds any way you need it to. It's a little richer and denser than traditional flatbread, but we found it to be quite versatile. We made cold cut and cheese wraps with it. We filled it with chicken salad, tuna salad, and egg salad. We even dunked it in chili and soup.

Apparently, some folks use it for dessert applications, too. It might be interesting with Nutella and peanut butter. Some folks apparently fill it with whipped cream and fruit spreads. You can roll it up or fold it. Really interesting stuff.

It has that slightly sweet, earthy potato flavor that keeps it from tasting plain or boring. It's mild enough that it works with savory foods, but there's just enough sweetness there that dessert applications honestly make sense. We found ourselves reaching for it instead of regular sandwich bread a couple times just because it's different and kind of fun to eat.

I may or may not have used this lefse with the leftover salsa de queso, in lieu of tortillas, and made some Norwegian-Mexican fusion food—which is, apparently, already a thing. It worked extremely well, but don't tell Sonia. She kinda got upset when I mentioned I liked flour tortillas just as much as corn tortillas. I don't know if she could handle the truth about potato flatbread tacos.

The beautiful wifey and I would both buy this product again, found with the other breads. Eight out of ten stars from me on Trader Joe's Lefse Norwegian Potato Flatbread. Eight and a half stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Queso Fresco

Most of you who've been reading this blog or watching our YouTube channel for a while now have gathered that Sonia is a decent cook. She's very fond of throwing together interesting and eclectic concoctions and recipes she finds on the internet, and of course she knows a few Mexican dishes that have been handed down generation to generation by the Oaxacan women in her family. Although I'm still waiting on a batch of homemade caramel flan, I've enjoyed many of her southern Mexican meals, not the least of which is "her signature dish," salsa de queso.

It involves heating plain tomato sauce, El Pato hot tomato sauce, and onions in a sauce pan. Then you add cubes of queso fresco or ranchero cheese, let it simmer for a while, and then serve it with black beans and rice. Although optional, we usually eat ours with corn tortillas. You can make little vegetarian tacos with the cheese, sauce, and beans. It's surprisingly tasty and filling.

So when we saw that Trader Joe's was selling their own queso fresco, we decided to do a video review as well as share Sonia's family recipe for salsa de queso. Please note: there are other dishes from different regions of Mexico called "salsa de queso" that are quite different from this one. This is just the version that the beautiful wifey and her family have enjoyed for many years. Of course, just two generations back, all the ingredients were made from scratch, while more modern variations simply employ canned sauces, pre-made tortillas, etc.

We found Trader Joe's Queso Fresco to be quite similar to Cacique brand ranchero cheese, Sonia's old standby for salsa de queso. If anything, Trader Joe's offering remains a tad more solid and squeaky after heating, and the flavor might be just a shade more mild. It paired beautifully with the tomato sauces and onions and made the same great spicy cheesy tacos that we've come to know and love. If you're fresh out of tortillas, the cheese, sauce, and beans are perfectly edible when served as a rice bowl.

$3.79 for the 8 oz cheese wheel, found in the refrigerated section. Just for comparison, you can pick up the 10 oz Cacique ranchero at Walmart or Target for a little less money. I'd say the quality, texture, and flavor of the two products are very similar. For that reason, Sonia and I will both give Trader Joe's Queso Fresco Mexican Style Crumbling Cheese eight out of ten stars. We can't wait to hear my mother-in-law's opinion of this cheese. We'll report back once we hear from her.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam Creamer

With Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam, $4.49 gets you 85 servings of yummy, convenient vanilla creamer. You read that right. Not eight and a half servings. Eighty-five servings. One tablespoon each.

It's like cold, creamy candy in a can. It's got a nice sweet, milky vanilla flavor, and the foam is nice and thick. It's a little syrupy and quite sugary. I mean, in theory, you're using it to sweeten and cream up your black coffee or something along those lines. One little tablespoon of this stuff is going to do your java wonders.

We had it with Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. This cold foam provided the majority of the vanilla flavor by my reckoning. Sonia was a much bigger fan of that cold brew than I was. But we can both agree on this stuff. It's very tasty.

The ingredients are pretty good, too, using actual skim milk, cane sugar, and cream. I mean there are stabilizers and propellants in there, but the foam itself isn't made of unpronounceable chemicals. Only ten calories per serving!

Honestly, the value proposition here is kind of absurd when you stop and think about it. A little can like this doesn't look like much sitting in the fridge, but it lasts forever unless you're absolutely drowning every cup of coffee you make in foam. And unlike some store-bought creamers that disappear beneath the flavor of the coffee, this stuff actually announces itself. You taste the vanilla, you feel the creamy texture, and it gives homemade iced coffee a legit coffee shop vibe with almost zero effort.

The beautiful wifey will go with eight and a half out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam Creamer. I'll go with eight out of ten on this one. We'd both buy this product again. Kosher. Keep refrigerated.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlic Shrimp Chips

Imported from Denmark, Trader Joe's Shrimp Chips are light, airy, crispy, and full of shrimp and garlic flavor. Parsley, dill, and chives round out the impressive seasoning blend. They're made with tapioca flour, but they have a look and feel not unlike that of puffed rice—like rice crisps or even rice cakes.

They're a tad sweeter than I might have guessed, but the savory and salty flavors balance it out nicely. The taste is honestly quite addicting. Sonia and I polished off the entire three and a half serving bag in well under a day, but it's well within the realm of possibility that two adults could demolish the bag in a single sitting.

The nutrition info is satisfactory, considering the relatively indulgent taste and texture of this snack and the fact that you can have 30 chips per serving. These would go great with an American lager or pilsner if you're looking to pair them with a cold one. I think one of Trader Joe's Sparkling Fruit Beverages would work nicely, too, if you're going the non-alcoholic route.

The spiel on the back of the bag says you can pair them with a spicy, creamy dip. I think I'd like to try them with a sweet chili hummus or something along those lines. Sonia insists they should stay unsullied by condiments of any kind. I must admit, they're pretty amazing just straight out of the bag.

Snacktacular. It's conceivable you won't like these if you don't like the taste of shrimp or garlic...or if you're averse to the puffed tapioca texture. But Sonia and I would both absolutely buy Trader Joe's Shrimp Chips again. I hope they stick around at TJ's. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight and a half out of ten stars from me.

Tapioca is naturally gluten free, so I would think this whole product would be gluten free, but it is not labeled as such. Maybe someone can enlighten us in the comments.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Sonia is definitely more the coffee person in our house, and she most definitely appreciated Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate more than I did. I don't have any major problems with it other than I think it's a bit stingy with the vanilla flavor. The beautiful wifey thinks it's just about right in terms of the boldness of the coffee and the balance of vanilla.

Of course, you have to dilute the coffee. It wants two parts water or milk or milk alternative and just one part concentrate. And most folks will want to add sweetener of some kind. We used Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam (review upcoming) and we also tried it with plain old brown sugar. It worked either way.

The concentrate itself was smooth and surprisingly mellow for such a dark-looking brew. No weird aftertaste, no burnt bitterness, just a solid cup of cold coffee that tasted decent and perked us right up. Sonia especially liked how easy it was to customize depending on her mood and caffeine needs.

See also Trader Joe's Maple Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Coconut Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

and Trader Joe's Original Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

$8.99 for the bottle. It's kosher, shelf-stable until opened, refrigerate afterwards. Makes eight 12 oz cups of coffee. Sonia would definitely buy it again. I'll throw out seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. Sonia gives it eight and a half out of ten. You should pay more attention to her score since she's way more into java.

Sonia's score: 8.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon

It's important to note that this crispy dried watermelon is, indeed, an entirely different product than Trader Joe's Organic Watermelon Jerky. It is also worth mentioning that, while the review posted of the watermelon jerky on this particular blog is a fairly positive take on the offering, that it was penned by former contributor Russ. My own personal sentiments of that product were not nearly as favorable. I found that stuff to be revolting in both flavor and texture.

While the jerky was fibrous and leathery, Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon is brittle and snaps apart with a satisfying click. It is indeed crispy and crunchy. The little pieces, when strewn about upon a plate, make a sound not unlike tiny plastic toys or the building elements of a model airplane. It's a unique texture, for sure, but it's far more pleasant than the frustratingly chewy mouthfeel of the watermelon jerky.

The taste is surprisingly close to that of real watermelon. It's shockingly sweet. And while there is a good bit of sugar in the single serving bag, 100% of it is natural sugar. It's literally just the sweetness of the watermelon magically transformed into a crystalline candy format.

It tastes like real fruit, but it also tastes like candy. Moreover, it feels like candy. At 150 calories for the entire bag, it's such a perfect snack for summer and warm weather. If you like this product as much as we do, we also recommend checking out Trader Joe's Watermelon Freeze Dried Candies.

$2.99 for 1.41 oz of Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon in a resealable bag. Product of Thailand. One and a half pounds of watermelon were used in each bag. Sonia has experimented with adding it to yogurt and ice cream and even rimming her cocktail glass with crumbled crispy watermelon, but we both agree it's best straight out of the bag as a light, sweet summertime snack. We'd both buy it again. Eight out of ten stars from me. Eight and a half stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burgers

Nate's Notes: This review was originally posted eleven years ago this month. Sonia and I decided we'd gone too long without a Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burger and decided to revisit the product, make a video review of it, and bump this old post. Turns out the quality is still there, the product is still great, and the price has only increased by 30¢ in more than a decade! It's gone from $3.69 for four veggie patties to $3.99. Our score from May 2015 still stands: 8.5/10 really darn good. And finally, I'll drop these air fryer instructions which are not included on the packaging: 400°F for 10-12 minutes, flip halfway. 

Thanks to the Hawaiian-themed grocery store called Trader Joe's, vegetarian cowboys are now a thing. What vegetarianism and cowboys have to do with the overall tropical island theme of the store, I'm not quite certain. But we've seen at least one other vegetarian cowboy-themed product, not to mention candy fit for cowboys and cowgirls, too.

I guess there's something earthy about cowboys—and there's something earthy about vegetarians and vegans as well. TJ's is just tying that all together for us. Or maybe they're aiming to challenge that stereotype of vegetarians being weaker than meat-eaters (I don't subscribe to that notion, by the way) by uniting it with the rugged machismo of the old western frontier. Regardless of all that, I'm fairly certain that more urban-dwelling hipsters will wind up eating this product than actual cattle-ropin' cowboys, if only because there aren't many Trader Joe's in the middle of cattle country.

Yet still, it's an amazing product. It's like a spicy black bean burger with chunky salsa cooked right into the "meat." It's not really one of those fake meat burgers that's desperately trying to taste like beef, so if it's a true burger you're craving, I say look elsewhere. But if you're adventurous and wanting something new, I'd encourage you to check this out. It takes the whole veggie burger thing one step further in terms of taste and texture. Not only is there quinoa mixed in with the black bean base, but there are chunks of peppers, corn, and whole black beans in the mix. It's a complex, hearty flavor with a slightly spicy southwestern vibe. I ate mine with a slice of asiago cheese and it blended perfectly. I mused about which condiments, if any, to throw on, and decided to eat it plain in the end. I'm a big fan of ketchup and mustard on almost anything that calls itself a burger, but in this case, I'd add a bit of extra hot salsa, if anything—but that's just my opinion.

We cooked ours on the stovetop in a tiny pool of olive oil. It came out firmer and crispier on the outside than on the inside, and overall, the product was a bit soft. If not held together by a bun, it might have fallen apart very easily. There's more substance in the peppers, corn, and beans than in the base of the burger itself—but still, I can't complain, since the aforementioned chunky ingredients were plentiful throughout.

All in all, it's not a great approximation of an actual beef hamburger, particularly in the texture department, but a delicious vegetarian lunch or dinner nonetheless. At $3.69 for four patties, it's a good value also. I'm always on the lookout for something unique and new, and this burger didn't disappoint. All you rugged vegetarian cowboys, saddle up!

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Guava Fruit Spread

There are more recipes using this fruit spread on the internet than you can shake a stick at. They're doing everything from cocktails to mocktails to milkshakes, cookies, and cakes using Trader Joe's Guava Spread. Here's what we did with it:

First up, we ate it straight from the jar like savages. It's quite a bit better than I was expecting it to be on its own: very sweet, very tart and tangy. It's smooth and fairly thick—fruity, floral, and exotic.

Next, Sonia made overnight oats with Trader Joe's Organic Guava Fruit Spread and Trader Joe's Organic Chia Seeds, among other things. Jump to 2:21 in our video review to hear the recipe in full, and how she made her culinary magic happen. This puddingy oatmeal was wholesome, hearty, creamy, and surprisingly delicious.

After that, we made a very simple smoothie from a single 6 oz can of Dole pineapple juice, two tablespoons of this guava spread, and a few ice cubes. We blended it until the fruit juice whipped up nicely and the ice cubes turned to slush. That combo was shockingly good. We'll definitely make it again once it gets hot. We're thinking some added rum might turn it into a decent pineapple guava daiquiri.

Finally, we had some sourdough English muffins with a bit of butter and this fruit spread. It's very similar to the vibe you get when you slather a piece of toast with strawberry jam. It's sweet and a bit tart. Yet this selection adds an unexpected tropical twist to the taste. It's good, but then I expected it to be good on toast. Those other experiments were bigger pleasant surprises to me.

We'd absolutely repurchase this product. We'd love to try some shortbread thumbprint cookies or turnovers using Trader Joe's Organic Guava Spread as the filling. I don't think this jar will last us long enough to attempt either of those on this go-around.

Certified organic. Found with the other condiments and spreads. $2.99 for the 10.5 oz jar. This exotic treat is imported from the tropical island nation of...Canada. Don't ask me. Eight and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. I'll throw out eight out of ten on Trader Joe's Guava Spread.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists

Apparently, Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Pretzel Twists are a knockoff of a product from a brand called Stellar. Never had the Stellar twists, but I'm anxious to try them now. We snack on Dot's Pretzels from time to time and really enjoy their honey mustard offering in particular.

If there's any one flavor that sounds even more potentially delicious than honey mustard, it's sweet onion. And boy does this product hit the mark. It's sweet, it's oniony, and wouldn't you know it? The bread part of the pretzel is pretty tasty, too—almost buttery to my tongue.

There's just enough crunch to make the twists snacky and satisfying, and the wheaty goodness comes through in the flavor profile, as well. Also, they're not too hard. They crumble in a very pleasant way and there's almost a soft pretzel feel as you chew the product.

What surprised me most here is how balanced everything is. Sweet onion could easily go off the rails—too sugary, too artificial, too “chip dust in a bag.” But this walks a nice line. The sweetness never overpowers, and the onion flavor doesn’t veer into that sharp, lingering bite that sticks with you for hours. It’s mellow, rounded, and honestly kind of addictive in that “just one more handful” way that turns into five.

They also feel fairly versatile for a pretzel snack. You could crush these up and throw them on a salad for some sweet-savory crunch, or pair them with a dip if you’re feeling adventurous. We tried them straight out of the bag and had zero complaints, but I could absolutely see these holding their own on a snack board next to cheeses, cured meats, or even something spicy to contrast the sweetness.

$3.69 for the 12 oz bag. Kosher. We wish it didn't have canola oil, but even still, Sonia and I would both buy this product again. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Rice Pudding

Trader Joe’s Rice Pudding is one of those quietly divisive refrigerated desserts that immediately exposes a cultural split you didn’t know was sitting at the family dinner table. Growing up, nobody I knew was exactly racing toward rice pudding with excitement. It was always kind of the sad cafeteria cousin of real dessert—soft, beige, and emotionally ambiguous. Meanwhile, all the Hispanic kids were over there living their best lives with arroz con leche made by somebody's abuelita, and it tasted like pure joy with a dusting of cinnamon.

This version from Trader Joe’s lands firmly in the “white people rice pudding” category, and I say that with love and a spoon in my hand. It’s very vanilla-forward, very sweet, and noticeably missing that warm cinnamon hug that usually turns rice pudding into something transcendent. The rice itself is plentiful, leaning starchy and chewy in a way that makes you feel like you’re eating something substantial rather than just dessert-ish air. It’s not trying to be fancy, and honestly that’s part of its charm. It’s refrigerated, ready-to-eat, and $2.99 for four cups. So...it's uber-practical, if nothing else.

What’s surprising is that the overall flavor is genuinely solid. It’s sweet without being cloying, creamy without being heavy, and weirdly comforting in a lowkey kind of way. Sonia and her mom, who are both very much team tradicional arroz con leche with cinnamon, raisins, and generational confidence, both absolutely love it, which says a lot. I like it too, but I have to admit it becomes significantly better with a generous sprinkle of cinnamon.

In short, Trader Joe’s Rice Pudding isn't trying to reinvent dessert. It’s just quietly existing, doing its job, and showing up consistently for $2.99. I’d absolutely buy it again. It’s an eight out of ten affair for this guy. The beautiful wifey will give it a very enthusiastic eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Wild Alaskan Black Cod Sablefish with Miso Marinade

I like regular cod quite a bit, so why not black cod? Don't think I've ever had that before. Sablefish? I guess that's just another name for the same species. Man, that's one ugly fish.

Fortunately, it tastes way better than it looks. For ten bucks, you get two servings of Alaskan sablefish, complete with a miso marinade. We opted for the "sear and bake" heating method, and our fish turned out great.

The sauce is tangy, salty, and sweet. It blended wonderfully with the flavor of the fish, which is buttery and rich. Never had such flavorful fish without a hint of "fishiness." It's such a clean, neutral flavor—among the highest quality whitefish I've ever had.

Texture-wise, the outer portions of Trader Joe's Black Cod Sablefish were slightly firmer and darker than the inner portions, due to the searing process. The bulk of the fish was soft and delicate. "Buttery" could describe the texture as well as the flavor, honestly. The skin just fell right off the meat, and there were thankfully no bones at all. The dish paired perfectly with rice, although you could also toss it on a salad or serve it with noodles, I suppose.

Our only complaint? For $9.99, there's not nearly enough food to make it a good value. I mean, you get what you pay for, and this is some very delicious fish, but both Sonia and I were pining for more. There's imported stuff at TJ's for a fraction of the cost of this product, and last I checked, Alaska was still part of the good ol' U.S. of A. I guess there's some high demand for these fugly fishies.

Would we buy it again? You betcha. Found in the frozen section, we'll totally buy it again and complain that there's not enough of it again. Maybe we'll try heating it in the air fryer next time. Eight and a half stars from both the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Wild Alaskan Black Cod Sablefish with Miso Marinade.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sliced Porridge Bread

At $4.49 for the loaf, this Canadian import is one of those bakery finds that feels both rustic and slightly mysterious. Sonia and I can both say honestly that we've never had a bread quite like it, and that’s saying something for two people who’ve toasted their way through plenty of carb territory. Trader Joe's Porridge Bread is a distinctive little twist on traditional wheat bread.

Its uncommon texture is what really sets this bread apart. The outside of each slice toasts up like you’d expect: golden, lightly crisp, and structurally sound. But the inside stays soft, tender, and almost porridge-like, with a texture that genuinely reminds you of oatmeal. It’s cozy. It’s comforting. It’s like hot cereal decided to disguise itself as bread.

Flavor-wise, this loaf leans lightly sweet, but not in a sugary, dessert-ish kind of way. It’s more of a subtle, grain-forward sweetness that comes from the blend of wheat, oats, and rye along with subtle hints of honey and brown sugar. The trio of grains gives the bread a wholesome, hearty profile with just enough complexity to make the bread satisfying in and of itself without overwhelming whatever you pair it with.

This bread absolutely shines with simplicity. A warm slice with just butter was one of our favorite ways to enjoy it. The butter melts into that soft interior and turns it into pure comfort food. Sonia especially loved using it for egg sandwiches, where the gentle sweetness and dense yet pillowy texture complemented the savory eggs perfectly.

This isn’t your standard sandwich loaf, and that’s exactly why it’s worth grabbing. If you like experimenting with textures or want a breakfast bread that feels a little different, this is a great choice.

Unique, cozy, and lightly sweet, Trader Joe’s Sliced Porridge Bread is a welcome change of pace. We'd definitely buy it again. Product of Canada. The beautiful wifey will go with eight and a half out of ten stars here. I'm down for eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.