Trader Joe's Something Spritzy Sparkling Beverages

If you're here to read about the festive version of Something Spritzy, then happy holidays! If you're here at some point in the future to read our thoughts on the original beverage in the blue can, then welcome! Happy Easter or 4th of July or whatever magical time of year you happen to be reading this.

Once again, there's a video review at the bottom of this post with more info than I'll be writing here, but I'll still throw you a bone and drop some bullet points. First, neither beverage is super sweet. Neither one is bursting with flavor. They're both quite subtle. You'll note that they're relatively low in calories, the red can with 80 and the blue can with only 60, respectively.

They both have fruit juices and cane sugar. The blue version is a faint pineapple and orange flavor, with Sonia noting that there's a grapefruit-esque essence and slight aftertaste. The red can tastes like orange to her while I note more cranberry flavor and a faint blend of holiday spices—like Wassail Punch, but not quite as good or as flavorful.

Each can is $1.99. I give Trader Joe's Something Spritzy original and festive editions seven and a half out of ten...and that might be a feel-good holiday-style don't-wanna-be-a-Scrooge kinda score. Sonia gives the red can a generous eight out of ten and the blue can seven and a half.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Original: 7.5 out of 10.

Bottom line: Something Spritzy Festive: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Nate's Notes: This post was originally published on May 20, 2015. This is an instance where Sonia and I are in nearly complete agreement with the standing review, so we have nothing to add or subtract except: this product is now available in cans. Each beverage is still 12 oz and the ingredients and nutrition info are extremely similar. We didn't see that other ginger brew at our TJ's this year, so we grabbed these instead. Seems like it was originally introduced as a spring/summer beverage and is now year round..? Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer is still a very good product. Still a buck for an individual can or four bucks for a four pack. 

Need a cool, refreshing drink for a hot summer day, and something like maple water sound a little too silly and hipstery for ya? Well, how about some ginger beer?

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer is neither ginger ale nor is it alcoholic. Ginger ale, although occasionally delicious, is your basic ginger-flavored soda, of course. Ginger beer, on the other hand, is a beverage produced with via brewing and fermentation and the whole nine yards. Here's a guide on how to make your own to give you an idea of the process involved.

As for the outcome: delicious. Both Sandy and I are pretty big fans. There's very little carbonation, if any, which makes for a cool, crisp flow. Although not as harshly ginger-tinged as some other TJ's brews, there's still a good, solid ginger bite underflow adding lots of bitterness. Yet, there's plenty of tart sweetness to counteract it all, thanks mainly to the limes and sugar.

The taste isn't perfectly balanced or smoothed over, though. The first bottle we drank, it almost tasted like we were drinking two different drinks at the same time. When we looked a little closer at the bottom of the bottle, we saw some cloudy floaty stuff, which I'm guessing was some sort of combination of the lemon/lime juice and ginger that kinda settled after fermentation. Although the bottle says nothing about doing so, for the second time around both Sandy and I gave the bottle a slight shake and swirl to try and mix it all back up, and we both agreed that it tasted a little better after that.

Still, this is one pretty delicious drink for those warm, sticky nights up ahead. Plenty of ginger bite with some citrus-y zing is never a bad combo. If you insist on some boozy additions, I have heard (but not yet personally verified) that this ginger beer is a great choice for either a Dark & Stormy or a Moscow Mule. That's definitely on my agenda, and Sandy is even more eager to try that than me. And for this ginger juice, if your mind is on your money (or your money on your mind), you can buy these either separately for a buck each or grab a four pack for $3.99 - math geniuses, them. Definitely worth the try. Matching fours from the wifey and me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Winter Sangria Sparkling Water

More seasonal water from Trader Joe's. Get it while supplies last. Is winter sangria a thing? This water tastes like year-round sangria to me. It's like a faint fruit punch flavor with maybe a slight emphasis on grape—you know, like wine...sorta.

There's nothing to suggest that it's alcoholic or that it's even trying to emulate an alcoholic beverage. And I mean, in terms of alcohol flavor, even regular sangria isn't very potent. You're mixing like maybe 13% ABV red wine with zero alcohol fruit punch, so it's maybe in the ballpark of 5% alcohol depending on your wine to punch ratio. I digress.

This flavor is fine. It's festive, I guess. There's a bit of an aftertaste that I'm not a huge fan of, but it's not a deal-breaker. It's not that intense. I'd buy again next winter.

$3.49 for eight 12 oz cans. Kosher. Wouldn't all water be kosher, though? I guess not. I just Googled that real quick and I'm not even gonna touch that on here. We give this flavored water seven and a half out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Almond Protein Smoothie

Just a quickie for today. Sonia drank most of this beverage. I just tasted it and noped out pretty quickly.

It's chalky as I suspected it would be. I can also taste the pea protein underneath the chocolate and almond flavors. There's really not a ton of chocolate flavor, to be honest.

It was $3.49 for the 16 oz bottle. Sonia liked that it was filling and full of protein. She'd buy again in a pinch but wouldn't necessarily seek it out. I wouldn't drink it again.

Sonia's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water

Who the heck does seasonal flavors of water? Trader Joe's, that's who. Apparently this is one of them. I mean, we've talked about apple being a fall flavor and all, but you'd think they could offer this stuff year round for folks that really like it.

It's good. There's a whisper and a half of tart Granny Smith apple flavor. It's not soda. It's not sweet or heavy handed at all. It's a nice subtle sour apple essence in clean, refreshing, fizzy water. I like this one about as much as any of the other flavored sparkling waters at TJ's. Some people say that they mix it with other stuff to make exotic apple cocktails and stuff. I think those people are nuts.

$3.49 for eight 12 oz cans. That's pretty much exactly what you pay for any of the major brand name sparkling water packs like Bubly or Polar. I think this one is available in big plastic bottles, too. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water 8 out of 10 stars. This isn't the first time we've purchased it, and we definitely would buy it again. In the fall. Next year. Sheesh.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Tea

Although it's not exactly at the top of my list of go-to beverages, herbal tea can be comforting, soothing, and relaxing. There's a host of health benefits and often an enticing aroma. The flavor can be hit or miss in my experience, but with the help of sugar, honey, and other additives, you can usually make the beverage palatable if not downright delicious.

This brew is no different. By itself, it's a little on the bland side. The redbush blend is quite subtle, as is the pumpkin essence, and there's a whisper of pumpkin spices underneath it all. If anything, I think the pumpkin, cinnamon, and nutmeg is a little too understated here, but it's there. It's not an indulgent flavor in the slightest, even with the help of sweeteners.

I'm definitely more fond of the Harvest Blend Herbal Tea, which I'm fairly certain is still available at TJ's seasonally. Also reviewed on this blog: Trader Joe's Autumn Apple Rooibos Tea. Seems like that one may have been discontinued.

Really, to me, the most appealing aspect of this item is the fancy tin box that it comes in. Attractive, sturdy, useful for storage long after the tea is gone. $4.99 for 20 sachets of herbal tea. Kosher. Caffeine free.

Probably wouldn't reach for this product again since there are other options at Trader Joe's that I like more than this one. Put me down for six out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Blend. The beautiful wifey has a different take on this tea. You'll just have to watch the short video review if you want to hear her opinion and score.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Leelanau Cellars Witches Brew

When we lived in the Philly area, Sonia and I attended this Christmas village they do right in Love Park in Center City. It was a very cold evening and there were even a few snowflakes in the air. Enchanted by the beauty of the lights and Yuletide decorations, the beautiful wifey decided to embrace the moment by sampling one of the vendors' mulled wine beverages.

Within minutes, her pulse began racing and she became very short of breath. She had to sit down and relax immediately and just narrowly avoided fainting. We might have assumed they dropped some kind of drug into her drink if not for the fact I finished the rest with no noticeable side effects.

With my help, she managed to make it back to the SEPTA train and returned to normal within a couple hours of reaching our apartment. To the best of my knowledge, mulled wine is simply red wine infused with a few spices and served hot, but to this day Sonia has avoided it due to that odd reaction.

All that to say I'll be scoring this one alone. The beautiful wifey will be enjoying a nice vanilla blonde ale while I sip on this sweet spiced red. And yes, it is quite sweet. There's even a sweet-o-meter on the back of the bottle indicating that this brew gets a 4 out of 5 sweetness score. I'd say that's about right.

It's basically a fruity dessert red with a warm blend of fall spices. From a distance, it looks like a dark opaque red color, but in the light it looks like a slightly translucent shade of light purple. The particular ingredients aren't listed so I'm merely guessing at the spices here, but I'd say I taste clove, allspice, nutmeg, and maybe a hint of cinnamon and ginger. It's still more sweet than spicy in my book, but it's definitely packing more than just grapey goodness.

I tried it hot but I honestly prefer it at room temperature. I didn't feel the need to add a cinnamon stick or anything like that, but if that's your thing, have at it. I haven't tried it chilled or on ice yet either, but I bet it would taste a good bit like sangria, particularly if you tossed some fresh fruit into your glass.

$7.99 for the screw cap bottle. 12.5% alcohol by volume. Would buy again. I'll go with seven and a half out of ten for Leelanau Cellars Witches Brew.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Considering all the unusual things we've seen pumpkin-spicified over the years, cold brew coffee seems downright tame in comparison. Pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin spice coffee are some of the first pumpkin spice products I ever heard of. If they can make macarons, mochi, and madeleines work, you'd think cold coffee would be a walk in the park.

Well, maybe not. Sonia is way more into pumpkin spice beverages than I am, and even she has yet to find an acceptable cold coffee pumpkin spice product. Starbucks, Stok, Dunkin—none of them hit the mark according to the beautiful wifey. This Trader Joe's offering is no exception.

No matter what I mixed it with or how much I diluted it, there was still that notion that I was sipping on a scented candle. Sonia preferred the term "potpourri," but the essence is still the same. It just doesn't taste like good pumpkin spice to us, but more like a batch of chemical-laden cleaning products.

The bottle says to mix one part of the concentrate to two parts water or milk. It's slightly more palatable with milk, I'll admit, but still nowhere close to anything I'd reach for with any regularity.

Sonia has a bottle of Hollander's pumpkin pie syrup this fall, and she's been putting it in everything from beverages to breakfast foods and raving about it constantly. A generous dollop or three greatly improved the flavor of this cold brew beverage. Even I have to admit it's excellent stuff. Unfortunately, they do not currently sell it at Trader Joe's.

While I'm not a huge fan, Sonia likes Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Hot Coffee (which is apparently now available in K-Cups). But we both agree this particular product won't be a repeat purchase. $8.99 for the eight serving bottle. Five out of ten stars from Sonia. Three out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Hazelnut Ground Coffee

Alrighty then. We've got a quick coffee review for today. Chocolate hazelnut sounds pretty scrumptious, but when it's java, I'm always skeptical.

Sonia made this ground coffee in her Keurig. She has a reusable metal K-Cup that you can put ground coffee into if you're not using one of the pre-made pods. See video below.

The beautiful wifey says she distinctly tastes chocolate in the brew. I feel like I taste something nutty behind the "full-bodied" light roast coffee beans, but I wouldn't say I detect chocolate in any significant way.

We were both okay with drinking it black, but I didn't enjoy it more than any non-flavored coffee I've ever had. Sonia liked it fine plain but she appreciated it far more with vanilla syrup and half-and-half added.

Seven bucks for the 12 oz bag. Sonia would buy it again. I'll let her do the honors today. She gives Trader Joe's Chocolate Hazelnut Ground Coffee eight out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's & the Art of the Still Organic Gin

Far from an aficionado, I do tend to gravitate towards gin over whiskey, rum, or vodka. This product is widely available at TJ's locations that carry hard liquor, so it was inevitable that I'd eventually try and review it, despite it not being a top-shelf gin product.

The only thing that could be considered truly offensive about this beverage is its harsh alcohol flavor that tends to overshadow any botanicals or spices that might be lurking in the depths of the tall, thin bottle. That's to be expected when you're looking at a $15 product with 40% alcohol by volume. (Price may vary from time to time and place to place).

When I first started sampling different liquors, I would always describe gin as "tasting like a forest." That foresty flavor I'd later find out was, in fact, juniper. There's a faint bit of it here in Trader Joe's Art of the Still Organic Gin, but it's not as juniper-forward as more expensive gins tend to be.

I taste something akin to clove at the finish of this drink. I couldn't say if that's what it actually is, but there's a whisper of something along those lines in this gin. It serves well as a mixer, with even something as simple as tonic water covering up many of this product's imperfections with its subtle sweetness. 

If you're looking for something that's sippable in its own right and a bit higher quality overall, I'd recommend House of Suntory Roku Gin, also widely available at Trader Joe's stores, retailing for about ten bucks more per bottle than this offering.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend

If it's not apparent by now, Sonia and I don't shop at Trader Joe's to "be healthy," generally. We shop there because we find unique and interesting stuff from around the world at reasonable prices. Every once in a while, however, we try something that is obviously optimized for healthiness rather than taste just out of curiosity, and carrot juice products generally fall in that category.

It's been a good long while, but we've tried the Omega Orange Carrot Juice, the Tropical Carrot Juice Blend, and Organic Purple Carrot Juice throughout the years. Personally, carrot juice is not something I drink for pleasure, but this one sounded fascinating with both black pepper and chili pepper in the ingredients. What's life without a little adventure and a little variety?

Sonia's take on the matter? "I used to love carrot juice. I would get a big serving from Jamba Juice almost every day back in my twenties," she reported. "But then my skin turned orange."

Hahaha. Okay, love.

The color of this beverage is striking. It's not unlike Trader Joe's Dynamo from many years ago. It's a deep, opaque shade of orange. The lemon and pepper flavors hit your palate just as hard if not harder than the carrot essence. Sonia insists it tastes like tomato juice. I think it's just the two types of pepper and turmeric balancing out the natural sweetness of the carrots. It's very similar to a Bloody Mary, but with carrot instead of tomato. No wonder traderjoes.com says it mixes well with vodka.

In the end, the beverage tasted a little better than I thought it would, while Sonia liked it a lot less than she thought she would. Neither of us would ever reach for this after doing yard work over a nice tall glass of lemonade, but we'll probably have a shot or two in the morning each day for the health benefits and the invigorating rush of the pepper.

$4.79 for 32 fluid ounces, found with the shelf-stable beverages. Probably wouldn't buy again. Health nuts, have at it. Six out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend. Seven out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Meikakuna Japanese Blended Whisky

Having lived in five different US states and having at least set foot in 40 of them, I can tell you this country's attitude toward alcoholic beverages is anything but uniform. Liquor laws not only vary state to state, but also county to county and town to town.

Some places you can buy any type of alcohol in just about every type of establishment—convenience stores, grocery stores, you name it. In other locales, the only way to get booze is through government-operated "state stores" or "bottle shops." In Utah, they recently raised the alcohol-by-volume limit from 4% to 5% for beer available in grocery stores. And there are still dozens of "dry counties" and "dry communities" throughout America where no alcohol is available at all.

Trader Joe's stores have to abide by the local laws, so naturally there are plenty of TJ's stores that can't sell any alcoholic beverages. Others can only sell beer and wine. Still more can sell whatever booze products they want. Currently, our closest Joe's does indeed carry beer, wine, and hard liquor, so every once in a while, we'll sample something relatively exotic...like Japanese whisky.

In case you're new here, Sonia tends to gravitate towards Irish whiskey while I consider myself a gin man. I was not particularly enamored with this product, in stark contrast to the delightful Japanese gin reviewed last year, while Sonia liked it nearly as much as her current favorite, Jameson.

We tried this beverage a few different ways. I liked it on the rocks best and Sonia preferred it neat. The whisky poured a yellowish color. On the nose and up front, we detected something lightly fruity and sweet. To me, the body tasted oddly spicy, almost like a muted cinnamon flavor at times. I thought the spices here were somewhat intense and interrupted the otherwise smooth essences of the beverage, but the beautiful wifey didn't seem to mind it.

I've heard this is a Trader Joe's exclusive. Not sure why they don't slap their name on it, but I'm sure they have their reasons. $29.99 for the 750 mL bottle. Probably would not buy again but it was interesting to try, although there's a good chance Sonia will pick up another bottle for herself at some point. Something like 6 out of 10 stars from me for Meikakuna Japanese Blended Whisky. Sonia will go with 8 out of 10.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee K-Cups

As our attempt to maintain a minimalistic lifestyle grows ever more futile by the day, I'm slowly realizing ownership of certain items is nearly unavoidable despite not wanting to own a bunch of stuff—things like: furniture, a microwave, an air fryer, and yes, a Keurig.

And as many of you know, Sonia is a big coffee person. Once upon a time in the 90s, she owned her own mini espresso machine, back when she worked for Starsucks. At our old house, she had a traditional coffee maker. While we were on the road, she used a French press for a while and then switched to instant coffee. But hey, we're in sticks and bricks still for the time being and we've got all this space. Might as well fill it up with appliances and stuff <sigh> hence the Keurig.

I drink coffee once in a blue moon, but I'm more of an energy drink guy for the most part so I'll let the beautiful wifey do most of the analysis on this product. She says Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee is well-balanced. It's not bitter or over-roasted. She likes that the coffee is organic, too. I'll add that this coffee definitely didn't make me gag or anything, not even when I tried it plain without sugar or creamer.

I've purchased some K-Cups for Sonia so I'm well aware of how pricey they can be. At $5.29 for 12 single serve cups, this Trader Joe's product is quite a bargain. It says "fair trade" so we'll just go ahead and assume the coffee farmers didn't get ripped off too badly...

Would buy again. Product of Colombia. Kosher. I'll defer to the beautiful coffee connoisseur for final scoring on this one. She gives Trader Joe's Fair Trade Organic Colombian Coffee 9/10 stars.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Midnight Moo

The first five years of my life or so were spent in Hershey, just blocks from Hersheypark, Chocolate World, and the old chocolate factory. My family kept in touch with a few folks in the town for many years after, so we'd find ourselves there quite often even after having moved away. You'd frequently smell cocoa wafting through the air of the affluent Pennsylvania neighborhood, and of course much of the local economy revolved around the chocolate industry.

Even in a town about an hour away, it was hard to escape the influence of Hershey and their world-famous chocolate brand. Thanks to some food sensitivities, I wasn't allowed much, if any, chocolate in my early years. Nevertheless, as I was treated for and grew out of said intolerances, I was heavily exposed to Hershey's chocolate and Hershey's syrup as I grew up and they naturally became my reference points for all things chocolatey.

We've frequently been criticized for comparing Trader Joe's chocolate products to Hershey's since, in the opinion of many chocolate snobs, Hershey's isn't that great compared to, say, European chocolate. In fact, foreign chocolate connoisseurs are often inclined to say that Hershey's tastes like literal vomit. But I digress. All that to say I'll be comparing this syrup primarily to Hershey's because I'm not all that familiar with any other brands.

Let's start with the ingredients. Hershey's kicks things off with high fructose corn syrup. It could still be those childhood food allergies lingering around, but my body hates HFCS. Trader Joe's syrup uses organic cane sugar. Good stuff. From there, the ingredients in Hershey's get even more unpronounceable and artificial, while Trader Joe's sticks with organics and basics.

Still, I think I like the taste of Hershey's a little better than this Trader Joe's chocolate syrup. It's sad, but I think my palate is just used to consuming chemicals, dyes, and fake stuff. Hershey's is a bit sweeter and thinner, both of which make it just a tad more chuggable. Trader Joe's syrup is a "darker" cocoa and it has a heavier consistency, which makes it harder to dissolve in milk. It's much more optimized for topping vanilla ice cream or other desserts in my humble opinion.

TL;DR—Trader Joe's Midnight Moo uses much higher quality ingredients than Hershey's but there's still something familiar about the old standby that makes it taste slightly better to me.

$3.99 for the squeeze bottle. Apparently this product was around years ago, got discontinued, and then came back again somewhat recently. Would I buy again? Maybe. I think it's growing on me. Four stars from Sonia, three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Organic Midnight Moo.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Texas Vodka

Based in Austin, Texas, Tito's Vodka has become the gold standard for cheap American vodka in recent years. It's far more drinkable and mixable than other inexpensive vodkas in our opinion, and if we have an occasion to buy vodka—which is relatively rare—Tito's is generally our go-to. Also Sonia and I are dog people and Tito's runs a charity called Vodka for Dog People, which we love.

So, naturally, others have tried to imitate the relatively smooth, sweet, gluten-free corn profile of Tito's affordable vodka, and it was only a matter of time before Trader Joe's hopped on that bandwagon. Trader Joe's Texas Vodka is similar in appearance and smell to Tito's, it too hails from the great state of Texas, and it's even more affordable at just ten bucks per 750 mL bottle. Which part of Texas is it from, you ask? Well, traderjoes.com says it's from Houston, but my bottle says "Dallas." Not sure about the discrepancy, to be honest.

Quality and taste-wise, it's pretty close to its name brand counterpart. There's a strong ethyl alcohol component to the smell and on the front end of the palate, which is dampened by the corn essence. The finish might be just a tad harsher than Tito's, but that can be remedied by mixing it with any number of juices, sodas, or soft drinks.

For the value, it's hard to beat. I like it just a wee bit less than Tito's, and I'd say it falls just shy of the Small Batch Vodka we looked at last year, too. Again, all of the vodkas mentioned in this review would fall under the category of "cheap vodka" and our opinions lack expertise—but you can't say we're not honest. Three and a half stars a piece from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Texas Vodka.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Fruits & Greens Smoothie Blend

Sonia and I make our own smoothies from time to time. Although the ingredients are subject to change and substitutions, we generally use blueberries, strawberries, bananas, and some kind of juice. If it involves milk or ice cream, in my mind anyway, it's a milkshake even if it does contain some fruit. So if we're talking smoothies at our house, it's generally understood that they're 100% fruit and fruit juices.

This mix has some spinach and kale included, which of course, are also fairly common smoothie ingredients. I've had pre-mixed smoothies that sneak in traces of nutrient-dense vegetables like kale successfully, but my palate is generally sensitive enough that I can taste the veggies and to some degree or another, they detract from my enjoyment of all the sweet fruit flavors. I don't want a salad smoothie. I want a fruit smoothie. If I want greens, I'll eat them on the side, heated with a little butter and salt.

The greens didn't bother Sonia one bit, but they did bug me a little. Every third sip or so, I'd taste the relatively bitter essences of spinach and kale. And it wasn't because the beverage wasn't blended enough. Our little wannabe bullet blender got the ingredients pretty darn liquefied. There was just a tad too much in the way of greens. If there had been half as much, I think it might have slid under my taste bud radar undetected.

Still, it's not a bad mix. It's bursting with berry flavor and some banana underneath. Dragon fruit is such a relatively mild taste in comparison, I don't think it affected the flavor profile in any significant way.

We've used apple, orange, and/or pineapple juices to make smoothies in the past. With these ingredients, Sonia and I both agreed apple was the way to go here, as the extra sweetness helped cover over most of the earthiness of the kale and spinach. It worked pretty well.

$3.99 for the bag, which will easily produce four or more smoothies for us, despite the three serving specification on the nutrition info. In the end, I'd rather just buy my own smoothie ingredients. This is pretty close to what I'd want, but with fewer veggies. Sonia would buy again for the convenience factor. Four stars from her. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Fruits & Greens Smoothie Blend.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tennessee Bourbon Whiskey

I've only been to Tennessee once, and I didn't get to spend much time there. I saw a bit of Memphis and the surrounding area, but everything from Nashville to Smoky Mountains NP is pretty high on our list of places to visit when we hit the road again. I've known some folks from the state, and every single one of them seemed like good salt-of-the-earth types.

Other than that, I don't know much about Tennessee, and I certainly don't know much about whiskey. So all I can offer you is an honest opinion, not an expert one. If you want a connoisseur's take on this product, they're out there for sure. Hint: they HATE this stuff.

I will say this: Trader Joe's Tennessee Bourbon Whiskey is a little sweeter than most other whiskeys I've tried, which isn't really a big deal either way in my book. It looks, smells, and tastes a bit like caramel to me. It has a thin consistency, and it's a bit oaky.

Sonia says it reminds her of Old Forester, which is a Kentucky bourbon. Kentucky and Tennessee share a lengthy border on the map, so their whiskeys are probably similar, right? She enjoyed this beverage neat as well as with ginger beer and lime juice.

Me? I'll stick to gin. I like this stuff as much as any other cheap whiskey, but in the end, it's just not my thing. $14.99 for the fifth. Three out of five stars from me. Four out of five from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Tennessee Bourbon Whiskey.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa Stirring Spoon with Mini Marshmallows

Here's a fun little checkout item that appeared at Trader Joe's around Christmas time. Although it's done for the season at most locations, it's still available some places since it's still winter, after all, and the red packaging is still appropriate...becuz Valentine's Day.

For 99¢ you get a real wooden stick, not unlike a tongue depressor that doctors use to check your throat for strep and stuff, except this one has a rounded part at the bottom just like an actual spoon. I, for one, am washing and keeping ours. You never know when a wooden spoon will come in handy.

Did I ever mention my mother used to use plastic instead of real silverware during thunderstorms because she was convinced the lightning would strike her, even in the basement, since metal is a good conductor? Yeah. She wouldn't drink water during storms for the same reason. Well, Mom, you should have been using wooden spoons since wood is an even better insulator than plastic. I digress.

Where were we? Oh yes. The stirring spoon. At the bottom of the spoon is a cubic chunk of chocolate with about ten mini marshmallows fused to it. You just dunk it in hot milk and swirl it around for a minute or two and you get salted caramel flavored hot cocoa.

It tasted good...but not outstanding. Sonia claims she didn't taste the salted caramel much. I did. There was a distinctly sea salty taste about the drink. Sure enough, there's sea salt listed near the end of the ingredients. I feel like I tasted something caramel-esque, too—almost like flan. There's plenty of chocolate flavor as well. Ten marshmallows is adequate for a single mug of cocoa I guess. You could always add your own if you're some kind of marshmallow fiend.

This isn't the first hot cocoa stirring spoon we've seen from Trader Joe's. And plenty of other retailers offer similar products, though they're usually somewhat more expensive than this one and aren't any better in terms of overall quality. If this product were any pricier, I'd be tempted to shaft it, score-wise, but as it stands I'll throw out a respectable three stars. I say it's a decent pickup for a Christmas stocking stuffer, a Valentine's treat, or if you're like me and you have a significant other with a birthday in between those two, it makes a fun little b-day surprise.

Sonia will also go with an even three stars for Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa Stirring Spoon with Mini Marshmallows.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome Ale

Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale

Are pumpkin products still legit after Thanksgiving? I mean, pumpkin pie sure is, at least until Christmas, right? So pumpkin season rolls on in my humble opinion. Mid-September through Christmas seems appropriate.

On one hand we have hoppy IPA beer and on the other hand we have sweeter stuff like pumpkin cider. I'll do either/or depending on my mood, but something like pumpkin ale often falls between the cracks and fails to meet the needs of either my arrogant hipster wannabe persona or that of my inner giggly college girl. I mean, who actually craves a pumpkin ale?

I just grabbed one off the mix-a-six shelf at Trader Joe's some weeks ago and haven't had the opportunity or desire to drink it yet, so what better time than now while I'm stuffed to the gills with heavy Thanksgiving fare and the first of the Christmas season's fattening goodies? Here are my thoughts...

It pours an amber-ish color with an off-white head. It's sweeter than I thought it would be. Pumpkin spices are evident, though not overwhelming. It's almost more of a cider than an ale, but it's not as appley as drinks like The Gourd Tree Pumpkin Cider.

Despite the sweetness and pumpkin spice aura, the beer finishes surprisingly clean. Alcohol-wise, it doesn't taste as strong as most 7% ABV beers, but it'd be a rare occasion I'd go out of my way to find and procure an ale this "girly."

The price is nice at $1.34 for the individual can. Brewed by Josephsbrau. I guess I might throw another one in my mix-a-six next year if it's around again. Sonia sat this one out. I'm torn between 3 and 3.5 stars, so I'll do one of each.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.