Trader Giotto's Penne Arrabbiata

I feel like there are more Italian folks in the northeast than anywhere else in the country, and thus the northeast is absolutely brimming with authentic Italian restaurants. Every town with a thousand people or more has at least one decent sit-down Italian place run by a family that's passed down recipes from father to son or mother to daughter for many generations.

The midwest has some Italian restaurants, for sure, but they're a bit farther and fewer between, and the real gems might be a little harder to find. Maybe it's the lack of a single Italian restaurant in our current neighborhood, but you might have noticed we've been picking up a good many Italian dishes from TJ's these past few months. I'm not sure how I've missed so many "Trader Giotto" products over the years, but better late than never, I suppose.

All that to say I've never tried arrabbiata pasta prior to this dish, so I have no idea what I'm talking about. If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you'll know that's never stopped me in the past and it certain won't stop me today. First thoughts? It's good but not great, IMO.

The spice blend that's there is nice, namely garlic, chili pepper, and white pepper, but it's pretty tame by our standards. Sonia and I both felt the Calabrian Chili Pasta Sauce had more tongue-tingling heat and a more interesting overall flavor profile than the sauce on this pasta. How authentic this arrabbiata sauce is, we can't say, but while it's nothing to write home about, it's nothing to complain about either.

The pasta was pretty run-of-the-mill penne. It was just a tad more al dente than either of us would have wanted but it was still pretty decent for having been so recently frozen. We found parmesan cheese added a nice creamy tang that was very welcome, and we also added some red pepper flakes to give it more of a kick.

In the end, it's a thumbs up overall, but we'd still gravitate towards boiling our own pasta and adding our own sauce. $3.49 for the 3 serving bag. Imported from Italy. We would possibly buy Trader Giotto's Penne Arrabbiata again.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties

I've never really been a fan of traditional sausage. I just don't like the taste of most pork products in general and there's something off-putting about the texture to me. Interestingly enough, this product found a way to emulate that off-putting texture fairly accurately. There are like little bumps of...something here and there that feel just like the weird bumps of animal meat in real sausage.

The spice blend is nice and hits pretty close to the spices you'd taste in pork sausage without the actual taste of meat. I'm not thrilled that the base is soy protein and wheat gluten. I'd rather have some other type of bean base, but I guess most fake meats are still made with some amount of soy or soy byproduct.

If you dress these puppies up with cheese, bread, and condiments, they're quite edible and unoffensive. I'd easily pick out that this was fake meat even in a blind taste test. Sonia agrees, but neither of us would prefer traditional sausage over this option in terms of taste or texture. 

We'd both gravitate towards turkey or chicken sausage as our first choice. But if you do Meatless Mondays or just mix things up for the heck of it, this vegan sausage is a passable breakfast option.

There were seven patties in our bag despite the packaging specifying there should be six. About four bucks for the whole thing. The patties are oddly small and don't really fit inside a bun or bagel or even an English muffin. There's excess bread on all sides. 

Sonia would probably buy Trader Joe's Meatless Breakfast Sausage Patties again while I probably would not.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Oven Dried Red & Yellow Bell Pepper Crisps

In the tradition of other crispy, crunchy veggie snacks that Trader Joe's has offered throughout the years, bell peppers are getting their day in the sun...er, their day in the oven, as it were. If you don't know what I'm talking about, see:

Trader Joe's Contemplates Inner Peas

Trader Joe's Kale Chips

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Broccoli Florets

Trader Joe's Beet Chips

Trader Joe's Parsnip Chips

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Okra

Your guess is as good as mine as to whether any of those snacktastic veggies are still available at TJ's or not...

As a standalone snack, these oven dried dealies are definitely not my favorite, despite a general fondness for bell peppers of all colors. They're oddly bitter, crusty, and papery.

Crumbled on top of stuff, however, they're pretty neat. $1.99 for the resealable bag. Product of Turkey. Sonia and I will go with six out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Battered Calamari

I'm well aware all squid can be a bit chewy, but this one was borderline rubbery IMO. Sonia agrees. I've had calamari a handful of times at Italian restaurants, and I don't think this selection was quite up to par in the texture department.

I wish it came with a sauce, too. We made our own with peri peri sauce, mayonnaise, and lemon juice, and it worked great. The flavor of these morsels is very good and isn't the problem, but sauce helps almost any fried appetizer.

Our second batch we left in the air fryer a good bit longer than what was called for, and it came out a little better than the first. The batter was even crunchier...and the squid? Really just about the same. It was difficult to cut even with a very sharp knife.

$5.49 isn't a bad price for how much you get here. Product of Italy. We still can't completely get over the excessive chewiness and lack of dipping sauce.

The beautiful wifey and I are both torn between six and seven stars, so we'll go with one of each for Trader Joe's Crispy Battered Calamari.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Spizzico di Pizza

Alrighty then, it's another quickie today. Spizzico di Pizza. Apparently, "spizzico" means "bit by bit." That makes sense. Although, Google Translate comes back with "sketchy" when "spizzico" is input. Hmmm...?

These mini pizzas beg comparison to Bagel Bites for obvious reasons. I'd say these are a tad higher-quality in almost every respect. Granted, I haven't had Bagel Bites for a hot minute, and I don't think I've ever tried them in the air fryer.

The bread gets crispy and the sauce and cheese come out soft and melty. There's some tomato, onion, and garlic flavors, and the overall vibe is quite pleasant.

$3.49 gets you 12 of these little snackalicious bites. If they're serving as appetizers, they'll do fine for a family of four, and I must say they were plenty filling as a standalone dinner for just the beautiful wifey and me. Would buy again. Sonia and I will both give Trader Giotto's Spizzico di Pizza eight out of ten stars.

The video is under a minute. There's about 40 seconds of food review and then a mini music video at the end. Enjoy. Or not.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Chile Chicken Bowl

Shockingly, this chicken bowl did not come from Canada, as so many other selections from Trader Joe's did. I guess we're to assume it's a domestic product despite its Mexican-inspired-ness. Although, I suppose they might not tell us each time an item is imported. Either way, it's a tasty dish. Let's take a look.

There's quite a lot of dark meat chicken in this bowl. I might be on the record saying I only like white meat, but in this case, I'll make an exception. The meat isn't greasy or low quality at all. It's finely shredded and has a very soft, succulent quality even after heating in the microwave. There's honestly just as much chicken in the bowl as rice, if not more. They didn't skimp.

The flavor is nice, too. There's a modest amount of heat from the green chiles and spices, which include black pepper, chili pepper, cumin, garlic powder, and oregano. Sonia and I both really liked the seasoning combo and didn't even feel the need to add our own spices.

Drawbacks? There's not enough cheddar cheese—what little was there was very nice. The whole thing is mushy. We both thought the mix could have used some crisp veggies like corn or chunks of bell peppers. Neither issue is a dealbreaker by any means.

$4.49 is about a dollar more than I'd want to pay for something like this, but it's decent food and very convenient. You can heat it in the oven but we opted for the microwave and weren't disappointed. Sonia will go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Green Chile Chicken Bowl. I'm down for seven out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter with Honey

I love peanut butter, but I don't have a lot to say about this product. The pros: It's good-quality creamy peanut butter. There are only three ingredients. It only costs three dollars.

The cons: It needs way more honey sweetness. It separates big time if it sits on the shelf for a spell. There is no crunchy version. Worse, traderjoes.com is full of absurd claims like "...this peanut butter falls somewhere in between creamy and crunchy." 

It's as smooth as any smooth peanut butter I've ever had.

Watch my video. It's only 42 seconds.

Much love. Peace.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Video: A Discussion About Our Favorite and Least Favorite Trader Joe's Spices and Seasonings

 

Trader Joe's Seafood Boil

You know what my favorite type of seafood is? Corn on the cob. Ah, it'll be harvest time soon and we'll be casting our nets in the bay and pulling those ears of corn out by the hundreds. Yum. Then we'll boil them up along with a bunch of other ocean critters like sausage and potatoes, similar to what we have here with this quaint, seasonal Trader Joe's product.

Matter of fact, it might be done for the year right now. No matter. This review will still be good next year if this product comes back. There might still be a few stragglers out there in TJ's freezers here and there. I'm not sure how that works, quite frankly, and I don't care. Or like the beautiful wifey and me, you might have this sitting in the back of your freezer at home and you're wondering when to boil it up.

Like my old man always said, "There's no time like the present." Sounds good. Let's fire up the big black pot on the stove and get boiling.

The only authentic cajun style cooking I've really ever had was at The Gumbo Pot at the Farmers Market in Los Angeles. I'm not calling it authentic myself. My old friends with their extended family from Louisiana told me it was legit, and it seemed pretty tasty to me. Catfish. Gumbo. Crawfish. You name it, they served it, and it was very flavorful, spicy, and delicious.

This Trader Joe's product? Oddly, the only element that seemed to really flaunt any cajun spice was the sausage, and as many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of pork sausage. The texture and taste of the seafood was fine, but none of it was really bursting with sassy Southern spices. The potatoes were soft and unoffensive, but again, not particularly flavorful. The corn on the cob was interesting. If anything, it absorbed more of the cajun spices than anything else, but still, it begged for a dusting of chile lime or cayenne pepper.

It's a fair amount of food, but Sonia and I easily polished it off in a single sitting. There were only three little corn on the cob pieces in the whole mix, four slices of sausage, a half dozen shrimp, and three or four pieces of each other element. For ten bucks, it's a little steep for grocery store fare.

Again, this was a seasonal item which may or may not be back for next year. We had it in the back of the freezer and there are my thoughts, for whatever they're worth. Sonia ate her portion without complaint but she had to add plenty of extra seasonings. She'll throw out six out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Seafood Boil. I'll go with five out of ten.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats

When I first found out Latinos eat "lengua," I was like, "Oh, is it a beef patty shaped like a tongue or something..?" Then I found out it's, you know, like actual cow tongue. So when I saw that these were "lingue crackers," I was like, "Oh no! Please tell me the Italians don't eat crackers made of dried cow tongue!" And sure enough, they don't. These crackers are named after the Italian word for "tongue" simply because of their shape. Phew.

And they're pretty good, you know? They're nothing to write home about in and of themselves, but by that same token, these are the first crackers I've ever tried with olives baked into them. No, wait. Scratch that. These are the second crackers I've tried with olives baked into them. But these are significantly better in my honest opinion.

They're salty and savory with just enough briny olive flavor to keep it interesting. Fancy folks might pair them with expensive creamy cheeses like Brie and exotic charcuterie stuff, but I can confirm they pair well with lowbrow toppings like cheddar or cream cheese. 

We also experimented with Swiss, havarti, and feta, and there's really no wrong answer when it comes to what cheese you should pair these crispy crackers with. They also go great with olives, surprise, surprise—Trader Joe's Garlic & Jalapeño Stuffed Olives worked pretty well.

There's a pleasant crunchiness to these crackers. They might be slightly brittle, but I'd say they're neither too soft nor too hard. They don't shatter the way some other crackers do, and they're thinner than other comparable wheat flats.

$2.99 for 5 servings, which come in a resealable plastic box. Imported from Italy. We would buy Trader Joe's Green Olive Flats Italian Lingue Crackers again. Sonia gives them nine out of ten stars, stating "These are some of the best crackers TJ's has ever put out." I don't disagree. I'll go with eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Tortilla Española

Over 20 years ago, I visited Spain briefly. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything quite like this during my few days there. I was able to sample some paella in Madrid, but I mentioned on this blog that I actually liked Trader Joe's Seafood Paella more than the dish I had in Spain.

Sonia didn't grow up with anything quite like this either. It's new to both of us, and it's nothing like a "tortilla" in the way we both think of the word. This item is more like a dense omelette made of potatoes, eggs, and onions, primarily. In fact, that's it. Except for a bit of salt and oil, those are the sole ingredients.

The product isn't too oily, even after adding a bit to the pan we cooked it in. It's a nice, clean, hearty breakfast food, filling and simple. It darkened a bit around the outside edges of the "tortilla" and got just a tad crispy by the end of the heating process. The rest of the dish was soft, warm, and moist, but not so damp as to feel wet or soupy at all. If anything, I would have wished for more of the onion flavor. It wasn't pungent enough if you ask me.

I ate mine without any toppings or condiments, though it had crossed my mind to dabble a bit of hot sauce here and there. Sonia added cheese, garlic, hot sauce, and black pepper to hers yet still insisted she enjoyed the plain product even before dressing it up.

$5.49 for the 6 serving omelet. Product of Spain. Would buy again. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Tortilla Española.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend

If it's not apparent by now, Sonia and I don't shop at Trader Joe's to "be healthy," generally. We shop there because we find unique and interesting stuff from around the world at reasonable prices. Every once in a while, however, we try something that is obviously optimized for healthiness rather than taste just out of curiosity, and carrot juice products generally fall in that category.

It's been a good long while, but we've tried the Omega Orange Carrot Juice, the Tropical Carrot Juice Blend, and Organic Purple Carrot Juice throughout the years. Personally, carrot juice is not something I drink for pleasure, but this one sounded fascinating with both black pepper and chili pepper in the ingredients. What's life without a little adventure and a little variety?

Sonia's take on the matter? "I used to love carrot juice. I would get a big serving from Jamba Juice almost every day back in my twenties," she reported. "But then my skin turned orange."

Hahaha. Okay, love.

The color of this beverage is striking. It's not unlike Trader Joe's Dynamo from many years ago. It's a deep, opaque shade of orange. The lemon and pepper flavors hit your palate just as hard if not harder than the carrot essence. Sonia insists it tastes like tomato juice. I think it's just the two types of pepper and turmeric balancing out the natural sweetness of the carrots. It's very similar to a Bloody Mary, but with carrot instead of tomato. No wonder traderjoes.com says it mixes well with vodka.

In the end, the beverage tasted a little better than I thought it would, while Sonia liked it a lot less than she thought she would. Neither of us would ever reach for this after doing yard work over a nice tall glass of lemonade, but we'll probably have a shot or two in the morning each day for the health benefits and the invigorating rush of the pepper.

$4.79 for 32 fluid ounces, found with the shelf-stable beverages. Probably wouldn't buy again. Health nuts, have at it. Six out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Organic Carrot Turmeric Juice Blend. Seven out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Peanutty Noodle Bowl with Chicken

It's only recently come to my attention that peanut butter is largely an American phenomenon. I've heard conflicting stories, but some claim that peanut-based sauces on foreign dishes—such as Pad Thai—is only a recent adaptation and that the authentic dishes in their respective countries of origin are rarely, if ever, made with peanut butter. The USA is routinely among the highest per capita consumers of peanut butter in the world, along with Canada—which just happens to be where this Trader Joe's item is produced.

What's working here: the taste. It's a nice sweet peanut vibe overall. The veggies provide some earthy greens and there's a modest amount of chicken flavor.

What's not working: the portion is too small. Sonia and I shared this for lunch knowing it was a single serving, but I don't think it would have filled me up even if I'd eaten the whole thing. Despite a significant amount of calories, carbs, and sugars in the mix, the dish wasn't very filling. It's not very spicy at all. We would have preferred a bit more heat.

There was nothing unpleasant about the texture, but I would have liked something more to chew on. The ground chicken is pulverized into oblivion and I wouldn't have minded actual peanuts or peanut halves in the mix. It's just a bit too mushy. That said, none of the veggies were stringy or offensive, as bok choy in particular can be sometimes. The noodles had a nice soft feel, too.

$3.49 for the bowl. Despite a few shortcomings, Sonia and I both liked the taste enough that we would buy it again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Spicy Peanutty Noodle Bowl with Chicken. I'll throw out seven stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shrimp Scampi

Confession time: despite my love of shrimp, I've only had scampi once or twice in my life prior to this Trader Joe's dish. The carbivore in me generally chooses breaded, fried shrimp over shrimp cocktail or garlic butter shrimp. Still, I've enjoyed shrimp scampi each time I've sampled it, and this instance was no different.

The frozen shrimp all come in a big plastic bag. I neglected to count them, but I'd say the total tally was somewhere in the ballpark of 20-22 shrimp. They're surprisingly large, and they're coated in what appears to be a batter of some sort. At first, I thought TJ's stuck the wrong bag inside my shrimp scampi box. Appearance-wise, they looked very similar to the frozen Shrimp Boom Bah we tried a couple months ago.

Alas, the "batter" was nothing but frozen garlic and lemon butter sauce, which melts off the shrimp and into the skillet as you heat them. These shrimp specimens are indeed unbattered, and the garlic butter and lemon essences give them all the flavor they need. We heated them on the stovetop for about ten minutes, all said and done.

They went great with the Barilla fettuccine we paired them with. I didn't even add any extra seasonings or toppings—not even salt and pepper. The shrimp were flavorful but not fishy—just garlicky and buttery, with a hint of citrus and Romano cheese.

Texture-wise, they were near perfect. Neither rubbery, chewy, or hard, these shrimp were prepared properly, and they had exactly the right mouthfeel. I'd say they were restaurant-quality in almost every way.

$8.99 for the three serving package found in the frozen aisle. Would buy again. Eight out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Nine out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Shrimp Scampi.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.