Trader Joe's Bacon & Eggs Sweet Gummy Candies

Today, we're looking at a traditional German treat: bacon and egg gummies, bursting with real pork fat and chicken egg flavor! Okay, I'm just kidding. They're fruit flavored. But they really are from Deutschland. Why we're importing gummy candy from Central Europe, I'm not quite sure, but traderjoes.com says the bacon pieces are cherry and the egg pieces are mango. That's just weird, but you know what? It works...kinda.

And not only is there no pork or eggs in the product, there's no gelatin either. We've seen dessert products from Trader Joe's in the past that proudly declared "pork gelatin" in the ingredients, which caused me a significant amount of distress. There's a bit of milk powder in them, so we can't call them vegan, but I'll take a touch of dairy over pig bones any day of the week.

There's a stretchy, squishy, almost sponginess to these gummy candies that makes them fun to chew. They're very smooth and slippery, and they taste unique. Both are bright, sweet-tart, almost citrusy flavors. There's a mild aftertaste, but it's not too overbearing.

I wish these were a single buck instead of two bucks, but somebody's gotta pay for all that marine diesel that ferried these puppies across the Atlantic. Would we buy Trader Joe's Bacon & Eggs Gummies again? I don't think either Sonia or I would really seek them out, but if we found ourselves in the checkout line at TJ's with a hankering for something sweet, I wouldn't completely dismiss the possibility. Eight out of ten stars from Sonia, who would really like to try a super sour version of these candies. Seven out of ten from Nathan, who says "Hey at least they're better than the Peas & Carrots Gummy Candy."

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes

Below, you'll find another video review featuring both the beautiful wifey and me.

I'm not sure if I put the nutrition info anywhere in the video, so I'll drop it right here.

$2.49 for 5 green onion pancakes actually imported from Taiwan. Vegan. We would definitely buy Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Rainbow's End Trail Mix Bars

We've really had excellent luck with Trader Joe's products this month. We've only had one or two products that weren't very good or great. After a while, I feel weird giving positive scores to everything and I start to look for a product I can write a negative review about just to break things up a bit. I thought, "Rainbow themed granola trail mix bars? How good could they possibly be?" and I yoinked this product out of the pantry hoping to shaft it and prove to everyone once and for all that we don't work for Trader Joe's and are super duper objective and have all kinds of nasty things to say, at least once in a while.

But dangit if these aren't freaking delicious snack bars. They're kinda like KIND bars but way better tasting and they have little generic M&M things all through them. They're probably not as healthy as KIND bars, but hey, you only live once.

As evidenced by our picture of the product, some of the M&M dealies are smashed up on the outside of the bars. I like them that way. It's like the chocolate is more evenly distributed and they're somehow easier to chew. 

There's plenty of nut flavor from the peanuts and almonds, and the whole conglomeration is held together by agave syrup and a thin layer of dark chocolate. Daddy likey...though milk chocolate would have done just fine if not better.

Looks like you can buy these individually for 99¢ or you can pick up a box of 5 for $4.99. You'd think they could throw you a bone and knock a nickel or a dime off the price if you buy the whole box, but whatevs. Still a decent product. 

Kosher. Would buy again. Apparently TJ's sells a non-bar form of the mix in a bag, and the rainbow reference is a nod to the pathway that connects the human world to Asgard, home of the Norse gods. Buckle up for Ragnarök, kids.

Eight out of ten stars from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Rainbow's End Trail Mix Bars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Nothing But Sweet Potato and Surf's Pup Dog Treats

All the info you'll want is in the 8 minute video below. But for those of you that are allergic to YouTube, here are the bullet points in written form. Trader Joe's Surf's Pup Dog Treats are a seasonal dog treat, available for a limited time only. They come in four different surfing-themed shapes. They're hard and crunchy and way too big for our small dogs. Certain ones are also quite difficult to break apart by hand.

We're not thrilled with ingredients like canola oil and preservatives. We try to give our dogs meat and veggies more often than grains. Probably wouldn't buy Surf's Pup Dog Treats again, but larger dogs might enjoy them more.

Trader Joe's Nothing But Sweet Potato Dog Treats are also way too big for our small dogs. These treats are VERY chewy, rather than crunchy. They can be torn apart by hand as well. The consistency here is like fruit leather. The treats taste like sweet potato (surprise, surprise) because the ONLY ingredient here is sweet potato. Tune in to the video to watch the beautiful wifey eat dog treats.

Trader Joe's Surf's Pup Dog Treats: Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Nothing But Sweet Potato Dog Treats: Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mini Shrimp Bao

Sometimes I'll rack my brain for a few minutes trying to think of some little anecdote or clever story to serve as a segue into my review but all I can think about is how freaking amazing and delicious the product at hand really is. This is one such occasion. These shrimp bao are scrumptious, convenient, and very reasonable, cost-wise.

Just 45 seconds in the microwave had each pair of bao buns piping hot, soft, and nearly perfect in the texture department. The serving suggestion on the box recommended putting cucumber slices and julienned carrots on the buns. We just so happened to have both already chopped up and ready to rock and roll right in our fridge the day we ate these. The box also wanted cilantro, but it's rare we have that on hand. Still, the crisp veggies added the perfect complement to the shrimp meat and soft, fluffy wheat-based bao buns.

There's just a mild to moderate amount of spice in both the shrimp patties and the included lemongrass lime chili sauce—which is excellent just in and of itself. Sonia and I agree that we'd buy the sauce by the bottle for sure. It's like a good sweet Thai chili sauce but with an unexpected citrusy element and perhaps not quite as thick in terms of consistency.

The shrimp flavor, the array of spices and seasonings, and the subtle savoriness of the steamed buns was one of the best combos I've tasted in a while. Sonia and I plowed through the entire box in one sitting for dinner one evening. I've seldom had appetizers this good even at sit-down Asian restaurants.

$4.99 for eight spicy shrimp bao. Product of Vietnam. Don't confuse this item with Trader Joe's 6 Spicy Shrimp Bao from a dozen years back or so. That one wasn't very good. This one will go in the Pantheon. Perfect ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Nine out of ten from me for Trader Joe's Mini Shrimp Bao.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Pistachios

Four bucks for a bag of pistachios is a great price. Those things have always been expensive. Throw in the facts that these are already shelled, covered in dark chocolate, and come in a resealable bag and you've got yourself a pretty good deal, value-wise.

And the product tastes great, too. If anything, there's a little too much candy and not enough nut in the equation. As you can see in the photo, there's more dark chocolate than pistachio. The ingredients list testifies the same. Hmmm. Maybe they should have called these Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Bites with Pistachio Nut Centers.

Still, there's enough pistachio in there that it's detectable. It almost balances out the chocolate. Both Sonia and I were wanting more nut flavor, but we both agree the dark chocolate works here. Milk chocolate or white chocolate wouldn't have blended quite as well with the pistachios, which were, admittedly, very high quality.

Would we buy Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Pistachios again? Yeah, probably. We could always mix in some plain pistachios to help balance out the nut to chocolate ratio. Let's go with seven out of ten stars from me and eight out of ten from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dill Pickle Mini Falafel

In case you're new here, I should mention that I really love chickpeas and chickpea derivative products like hummus and falafel. Neither Sonia nor I are vegan or vegetarian, but we both enjoy Mediterranean dishes and we've reviewed numerous other falafel products from Trader Joe's right here on this very blog. See: Trader Joe's Heat & Eat Falafel, Trader Joe's Falafel Chips, and Trader Joe's Falafel Mix. And we've reviewed a bunch of pickle-flavored stuff, too.

Evidently, this pickle falafel has been around for at least two years. Not sure how it evaded my sights all this time, but we're finally getting around to buying and trying it now. Better late than never, I always say.

Only conventional oven and microwave heating instructions are listed on the bag, but a quick internet search revealed that 390° for 7 minutes in an air fryer works just fine too. The product smells faintly of dill pickle and other falafel spices like garlic and onion. They're called "mini falafel" because they're about half the size of your typical falafel ball. They're still a bit too big to be considered "bite-sized" but they're headed in that direction.

The pickle taste is faint but there. It compliments the flavor of the garbanzo bean base. Anything you'd pair with traditional falafel would work with this product—tzatziki, hummus, tabouli, tahini, or zhoug. You could serve it with rice, pita, or a salad. Or you could do like we did and make falafel soft tacos with tzatziki, shredded cheese, and arugula in a flour tortilla. Yum.

They're crispy on the outside, soft on the inside and quite dense. They're not too dry, not too oily, and plenty versatile.

They contain canola oil, as many TJ's products do, which we're not thrilled about, but all things considered they're tasty and convenient and we'll each throw out a score of 8/10. $4.29 for the 12 ounce bag, found in the frozen section. Vegan. We would buy Trader Joe's Dill Pickle Mini Falafel again.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Peanut Butter & Cocoa Crunch Cereal

I never got that tagline from Kix cereal. "Kid tested, mother approved." Sounds like the kids didn't like it that much. They tested it, but they didn't necessarily approve of it. Mom had to force them to eat it after they tried it once.

And yeah, this is basically Kix with a peanut butter chocolate twist. I could have sworn there were already Peanut Butter Kix and maybe even Chocolate Peanut Butter Kix, but apparently I've shifted into a parallel reality yet again because after a few internet queries there is no evidence of either such cereal having existed on this particular timeline. Must be all that time travel I've been doing. I digress.

I think adults will like this organic, kosher, gluten free cereal well enough. There's just the right amount of chocolate and peanut butter flavor to keep it interesting. Will kids like it? Some will...so long as they haven't been spoiled with name brand chocolate coated sugar bombs too badly. I would have enjoyed this as a kid. I was a weird kid, though. I'm still kinda weird. But most of you have probably figured that out by now.

The cereal is quite crunchy, as the name suggests. It might almost be on the verge of too crunchy for my taste. It didn't scrape up the roof of my mouth too badly, but my teeth ached a tad after finishing my bowl. Of course, the morsels are slightly softer after having soaked in milk for a few minutes, but they still pack a significant crunch factor.

$3.49 for the seven serving box. I'd buy the Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola again before I'd reach for this product, but it's nothing to complain about. Seven out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Organic Peanut Butter & Cocoa Crunch Cereal. Sonia gives it eight out of ten.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Pizza Margherita

Now here's a product that has really stood the test of time. I can't tell you exactly when it debuted, but I can tell you that Sonia has been purchasing Trader Giotto's Pizza Margherita since before we met circa 2005, so we're probably talking 20+ years on TJ's shelves. That's noteworthy. I've only had it one other time prior to this review, years ago, and it's finally time to give this bad boy its well-deserved day in the sun.

I mean it's nothing fancy. I think its simplicity is its strength. We're talking nothing more than dough, sauce, and cheese—but it's high-quality dough, sauce, and cheese. Just seven minutes at 425°F and you're ready to chow down.

The crust comes out crispy and slightly chewy. It's a relatively thin crust, which Sonia loves and I'm okay with when the occasion calls for it. If it's cold out and I'm absolutely starving, nothing but a thick, oily deep dish breading will hit the mark. But it's summertime and I'm rarely craving something so heavy, so this Pizza Margherita is just perfect for lunch these days.

There's plenty of tomato flavor, of course. The mozzarella cheese is smooth, creamy, and subtle, and it allows the basil flavor in the sauce to come through just a bit. There's also a hint of garlic and onion underneath it all. It's a nice, clean, uncomplicated flavor.

Of course, you can dress it up some if you're feeling frisky. Sonia and I were more than happy to have it plain, but it wouldn't clash with any basic pizza toppings if you wanted to add them a la carte.

$4.79 for the three serving pizza. Product of Italy. It's adequate for two adults for dinner. Will buy again. Nine out of ten stars from Sonia. Eight out of ten from Nathan for Trader Giotto's Pizza Margherita.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar Cardamom Buns

Fun fact: cardamom is the third-most expensive spice in existence after, presumably, saffron and that stuff they get from the sandworms on Arrakis. It's apparently used widely as a baking ingredient in Scandinavian countries. Those zany Vikings and their cardamom...

But seriously though, I don't think I've had many, if any, pastries with cardamom as a prominently featured flavor/ingredient ever in my life...until now. And if I'm honest, I didn't like it that much, however, the beautiful wifey enjoyed it quite a bit. We haven't disagreed on a product this strongly in quite a while.

We both agreed that there was something fall-ish about this item. Cardamom isn't a far cry from allspice or clove in terms of flavor and intensity. It might not be a pumpkin spice, per se, but it's "pumpkin spice adjacent" in my opinion.

The brown sugar element was nice, providing a sweet, nutty essence to the bun. But the relative bitterness and spiciness of the cardamom was a turn-off for me, while Sonia thought it made the product unique and memorable. The bready part of the pastry was fairly standard, highly reminiscent of last fall's Apple Cinnamon Buns, neither stale nor unusually fresh—passable but not praise-worthy if you ask me.

$4.49 for two big sweet spiced buns, found with the other baked goods. This one will get a thumbs up from the beautiful wifey and a thumbs down from me. We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Nathan's score: 5.5 out of 10.

Sonia's score: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's (Refrigerated) Chicken Tikka Masala

I've always been a fan of chicken tikka. It's basically chicken tandoori made with boneless and skinless chicken breast. It's served dry, while its cousin chicken tikka masala is served in a creamy, tomato-based sauce like the dish we have here. Sonia and I have both had some pretty tasty tikka masala in our day, too, so Trader Joe's has their work cut out for them.

This product comes refrigerated, not frozen, so you've only got a week or so to consume it. The heating instructions involved either 5 minutes in the microwave or 25 minutes in the oven. We opted for the conventional bakey box because we were leery of rubbery chicken. 

The texture of the meat was fine, but our basmati rice dried out a bit. It got a tad crunchy by the end of the heating cycle. We've both had tikka masala with thicker sauce, but the relative thinness of this offering didn't bother me, while it did bug the beautiful wifey to some extent.

She also thought the sauce lacked flavor. And though I have had more pungent masala sauce once or twice, again, I was fine with the spice level and taste of the topping here, noting elements of tomato, onion, garlic, turmeric, paprika, and ginger. Nothing to complain about in my opinion.

Still, the dry, crunchy rice, relatively small serving size, and higher price tag will have a negative effect on our score of this product... 

We actually recommend either the frozen Chicken Tikka Masala or even the Vegan Tikka Masala over this refrigerated variety. It's been a long time since we've purchased either of those products, but assuming they're more or less the same as when we reviewed them, they're consistently good and optimized for going straight from the freezer to the microwave with pleasant results.

$6.99 for two servings. Seven out of ten stars from Nathan for Trader Joe's Chicken Tikka Masala. Sonia's score: 7/10 as well.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Coconut Macaroons

As a kid growing up with allergies to wheat and milk, my diet was pretty limited especially when it came to baked goods and cookies. Coconut macaroons were one of the first types of confections I was allowed to have that I actually liked since they consisted of not much more than coconut, egg, and sugar.

My parents would routinely get a brand of individually-wrapped macaroons—the name of which escapes me now—for me to have as a snack or dessert since most other treats were off limits. I ate so many coconut macaroons in those early years that I got quite sick of them. Eventually, I grew out of said allergies and once wheat-based cookies were fair game, I seldom looked back to the macaroon.

$3.79 for about ten fresh-made coconut cookies seemed like a fair deal, and they looked tasty enough, so I decided to take a trip down memory lane and sample this Trader Joe's offering. 

Maybe it's nostalgia talking, but if anything, I'd say these exceeded my expectations. Sonia agrees. She's had some decent coconut macaroons in her day, and she was surprised how fresh and sweet these cookies tasted.

They were very soft and supple. The coconut shavings were the perfect size, too. There was nothing stiff or hard about them. I'm not in the mood for coconut macaroons very often, but if I were, I'd buy this product again.

Found in the baked goods section. Kosher. Eight out of ten stars from me for Trader Joe's Coconut Macaroons. Sonia will follow suit.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bubble Waffles

Oh I get it now. They're just pancakes with mochi rice cakes baked into them. That's what the big lumps are. They come from Thailand.

At first, I didn't get it. Why would anybody want waffles with egg-shaped bubbles baked into them? I assumed it was just air or something, or maybe like wads of waffle batter. Mochi makes sense. Did I mention this is a product of Thailand? They apparently love mochi over there.

I've seen social media posts with people rolling these bubble waffles up into cones and putting ice cream in them. That's fun. I also saw an Instagram post where they just plopped a scoop of that amazing horchata ice cream right in the middle of the waffle on a plate in lieu of syrup or whatever. I've actually heard they go great with condensed milk, too.

Anyway, the horchata ice cream and bubble waffle combo is excellent. Butter and syrup works just fine. The regular flat part of these treats is crispy and soft and the mochi part is even softer and slightly chewy, just like a mochi rice cake you'd get at one of those frozen yogurt places as a topping, except here, they're baked right into the batter.

I think the mochi makes these waffles even more filling than regular waffles or pancakes. There's a nice coconut and vanilla sweetness about them that's not over-the-top but lends a moderate comfort food vibe to these breakfast treats that could also serve as a snack or dessert. The smell and taste of the batter is reminiscent of funnel cake in a way.

$4.49 for four bubble waffles. Vegan. Would buy again. Put Sonia down for 9/10 stars on Trader Joe's Bubble Waffles. I'll go with 8/10.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Horchata Ice Cream

I was in college when I'd first heard of horchata. We were at the local burrito place and one of my housemates asked if I wanted to try some.

"What is it?" I asked.
"Mexican rice water," he replied.
"Oh goodness no!" I said with revulsion.

Whoever first described horchata as "Mexican rice water" clearly flunked out of marketing school. It should be described as "a creamy Latin cinnamon sugar beverage," because that's what it is, and it's freaking delicious. Eventually I managed to get over the image of shady cartel members reusing water they'd used to boil filthy grains of rice to resell as a drink, and by the time I married Sonia, I was already enjoying horchata fairly regularly and it became a frequent purchase in our household as well as a fun drink to try at restaurants, parks, and other outings.

And this horchata ice cream is like a top-quality horchata beverage, but frozen. There are little chunks of "horchata flavored cookie pieces" ...!? I don't think horchata cookies are a thing...but I guess they are now. Holy cow. Has Trader Joe's been reading about how I like "stuff" in my ice cream? If any ice cream flavor would have done fine as a smooth, chunkless product, it's this one, but I gotta say the cookie bits only make it that much better.

They're like little pieces of crunchy churros almost. There's lots of 'em, and they're delicious. I might not have minded if they'd thrown in soft churros or soft "horchata cookies," but the crunchy kind works just fine here. They're a little hard to see because they're a similar color as the ice cream base.

The ice cream itself is even better—with the perfect amount of sweetness, creaminess, and cinnamon flavor. It tastes like real horchata and the texture is just about perfect, as well. There's not much in the way of rice flavor, but honestly, even Mexican rice water doesn't taste a whole lot like rice if you ask me.

One of the best desserts I've had in a long time. Even my Latina Trader Joe's cashier raved about it. Put this one in the hallowed halls of the Pantheon. $3.79 well spent. Will purchase again. And again....and again. Kosher. Perfect 10/10 from me. Sonia is down for 10/10 as well on Trader Joe's Horchata Ice Cream.

Bottom line: 10 out of 10.