Trader Joe's Chocolate Almond Protein Smoothie

Just a quickie for today. Sonia drank most of this beverage. I just tasted it and noped out pretty quickly.

It's chalky as I suspected it would be. I can also taste the pea protein underneath the chocolate and almond flavors. There's really not a ton of chocolate flavor, to be honest.

It was $3.49 for the 16 oz bottle. Sonia liked that it was filling and full of protein. She'd buy again in a pinch but wouldn't necessarily seek it out. I wouldn't drink it again.

Sonia's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops

Today, I'm gonna check out Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops. I really like snacks made with alternative grains and flours and ingredients. The only thing that makes me a little nervous is "pea." Yeah. I like peas okay but not necessarily in my crunchy snacks. I'm a little leery of pea protein in anything, be it any kind of smoothie or shake or protein bar so I'm not sure how it's going to work out here. I think the potato and corn will hopefully offset any weird pea flavor that I might not like.

Upon opening the bag, it smells faintly of peas and corn. They're bigger than I thought they'd be. They're very salty. Very crunchy. Hollow. 

They're like Chex but bigger and more rigid, more robust. You can taste the grainy flavors of potato, peas, and corn. The pea flavor doesn't turn me off at all. It's a pleasant flavor but I don't know if it would be the number one thing I'd reach for over potato chips or tortilla chips.

I wish they were dusted with some kind of flavor like barbecue sauce or something spicy. Even a cheddar cheese flavor would be interesting. A viewer on YouTube suggested sour cream and onion would work, and I totally agree.

$2.49 for the bag. Kosher. I don't know why they wouldn't be gluten free, but they're not listed as such. Maybe they were processed on the same equipment as wheat products or something like that. 

Would I buy them again? I don't think I would in this current format. If you like the taste of potatoes, corn, and peas and don't mind very salty snacks, you'd probably like these. The texture is excellent if you like firm, crunchy, crispy snacks. I like salty snacks a lot, but I feel like the saltiness overshadows everything else in this case.

I give Trader Joe's Crunchy Pops 7 out of 10 stars. Sonia will go with 7.5 out of 10.

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Belgian Cookie Trio

Shoot, is it already time for Christmas cookies again? I guess you could have these at Thanksgiving, too. You're gonna need some dessert after that Turkey Day dinner.

This product was around last year, and it's back again for 2024. This rectangular box will run you about six bucks and it has two individually wrapped cookie trays. 

You get three types of authentic Belgian cookies: almond butter thins in milk chocolate, waffle cookies dipped in dark chocolate, and butter biscuits in dark chocolate.

They're crispy. Crunchy. Sweet. But not too sweet. 

I like the milk chocolate kind better than the dark chocolate ones. The almonds are a nice touch. Those cookies are nice and buttery. I like the texture of the waffle cookies a lot.

I wish the package were resealable somehow. Still pretty tasty, festive, and fun. Might buy again. Product of Belgium. I give Trader Joe's Belgian Cookie Trio seven out of ten stars. Sonia gives them seven and a half out of ten.

Check out our short video to see these cookies in action. There's no talking in this one. It's just beautiful chocolate-covered Belgian desserts and smooth jazz.

Have a great weekend. 

Bottom line: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water

Who the heck does seasonal flavors of water? Trader Joe's, that's who. Apparently this is one of them. I mean, we've talked about apple being a fall flavor and all, but you'd think they could offer this stuff year round for folks that really like it.

It's good. There's a whisper and a half of tart Granny Smith apple flavor. It's not soda. It's not sweet or heavy handed at all. It's a nice subtle sour apple essence in clean, refreshing, fizzy water. I like this one about as much as any of the other flavored sparkling waters at TJ's. Some people say that they mix it with other stuff to make exotic apple cocktails and stuff. I think those people are nuts.

$3.49 for eight 12 oz cans. That's pretty much exactly what you pay for any of the major brand name sparkling water packs like Bubly or Polar. I think this one is available in big plastic bottles, too. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Green Apple Sparkling Water 8 out of 10 stars. This isn't the first time we've purchased it, and we definitely would buy it again. In the fall. Next year. Sheesh.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Almonds

It would probably be more honest and accurate to call these "almonds coated with strawberry flavored sugar" because, let's face it: that stuff ain't yogurt. If you read carefully, you'll note that it's a "yogurt flavored coating" made of palm kernel oil and miscellaneous powders—one of which is, admittedly, "yogurt powder."

Meh. It works. The almonds taste enough like strawberry. Sonia thinks the balance of flavors is just about perfect. There's enough sweet strawberry taste to make these feel like a dessert but not so much that it overshadows the natural nuttiness of the almonds. There is a bit of that almond butter and jelly effect, which I expected of course, but I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

The beautiful wifey raved about these things from first bite. She says she could eat the whole bag by herself in a single day. In reality, I know she won't because she's disciplined like that. Fortunately, the bag is resealable.

$3.99 for the eight serving bag. Kosher. Eight and a half out of ten stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Strawberry Yogurt Flavored Almonds, who would definitely repurchase. I'll go with eight out of ten. They're definitely satisfying and snackable, but I don't necessarily think they're a cut above all the other myriad nuts coated with sweet stuff out there from Trader Joe's or anywhere else.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ginger Shrimp Lo Mein

Today's product review: Trader Joe's Ginger Shrimp Lo Mein. I'm a huge fan of shrimp, and I like ginger a lot, too, so I'm really excited to try this. After cutting open the bag and all of the secondary packaging, the beautiful wifey will be preparing it on the stove top.

They want you to thaw the noodles with some oil in a pan. Meanwhile, you thaw the ginger sauce and shrimp in water. Then you throw all of it together in the pan and heat until the shrimp is fully cooked to an internal temp of 145° or more. I can smell the ginger already.

Well, looks like it's time to plate it up and chow down.

We tried the lo mein with no condiments first but quickly decided it needed some help. Sonia reached for gochujang and I went with sriracha. Both sauces greatly improved the taste by giving the dish a little kick, which was offset and dampened by the mellow ginger flavor.

Sonia thought there were plenty of shrimp, but I wouldn't have minded more. We both thought a few more veggies would have been welcome. The noodles were fine and the whole dish had a decent flavor, particularly after adding some heat.

If you want to watch our chopsticks skills in action, just click play on the vid below. Have a meal with us, friends. $5.99 for the three serving bag. Product of Thailand. Found in the frozen section. Probably would buy again. We give Trader Joe's Ginger Shrimp Lo Mein seven and a half out of ten stars.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Jumeokbap

Neither Sonia nor I had ever heard of jumeokbap before. It's a Korean dish that usually involves a "rice ball." In this case, they're more like rice pyramids. But anyway, there's usually some veggies and beef mixed in with the rice. In this case, we've got vegan beefless bulgogi—a product we reviewed not that long ago—along with carrots, green onions, and cabbage.

This product comes with three individually sealed pouches, one pouch per serving. You simply snip the corner of the pouch and microwave for 1.5 to 4 minutes, depending on the number of pouches you're heating. Take the product out of the pouch and you're done. Quick and easy.

There are tiny pieces of bulgogi throughout the product. They're much easier to chew that way, but by the end of our meal, we both agreed that more of the delicious fake meat would have improved the dish. The overall flavor was excellent.

$4.99 for the three servings. Vegan. Product of South Korea. Found in the frozen section. Would buy again. Eight and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Jumeokbap. Nine and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. 

Have I mentioned we're doing videos now? Sonia looks darn good for 45, doesn't she?

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Kimbap

Good morning, folks! It's time to look at Trader Joe's Kimbap. Neither Sonia nor I had ever tried this dish before, but we both like sushi so we decided to give it a whirl. This one's primarily a video review in stunning 4K resolution but for those of you who just want to relax and read, here's a few paragraphs on our findings...

This Asian dish comes frozen and it thaws in 2-3 minutes in the microwave. The packaging recommends serving it hot or cold while Koreans who know the dish say it should be served at room temperature. I found hot or room temperature worked great while chilling the kimbap in the fridge made the mouthfeel a little funky.

Still, the taste and texture are remarkable considering it comes frozen solid. There's an unexpected sweetness to the dish—akin to sesame sauce—plus all the rich veggie flavors you get from tofu, burdock root, carrot, radish, spinach, and seaweed. It's filling, satisfying, convenient, and reasonably priced at $3.99 for nine big sushi roll discs.

Product of Korea. The packaging and traderjoes.com only specify that it's vegetarian, but there's nothing in the ingredients that wouldn't be vegan, and other actual vegans out in cyberspace have declared that it is, in fact, vegan. I give Trader Joe's Kimbap eight out of ten stars while the beautiful wifey will go with nine out of ten.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Bar with Corn Flakes

So apparently this is Trader Joe's store brand take on Ritter Sport Knusperflakes. The original is milk chocolate with corn cereal inside just like this candy bar, except Ritter Sport is a German chocolatier while this product hails from Belgium.

Long ago, seemingly in another lifetime, it was posited that the authors of this blog were merely Belgian world domination puppets. That legacy lives on with this chunk of chocolate. Not only is it fairly tasty and unique and will get our seal of approval and recommendation, but it's also packaged attractively and priced fairly at $2.99.

Isn't three bucks a little steep for a chocolate bar, you ask? Not really. Especially when you consider this is over six ounces of chocolate that came from half way around the world. Have you purchased any individual candy bars lately? I know I haven't outside of Trader Joe's. Those things are like a buck fifty and you get a third the amount of chocolate that's in this Belgian bad boy.

Still, candy isn't really my thing anymore and I'm far from a chocoholic so I can't see myself buying this regularly. But as chocolate goes, it gets a solid thumbs up from the beautiful wifey and me. Seven and a half stars out of ten on Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Bar with Corn Flakes.

We did yet another video. This one features me rambling on for a whopping 58 seconds. Subscribe for a chance to win even more microdoses of my majestic mug and charming charisma. It's free!

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Tea

Although it's not exactly at the top of my list of go-to beverages, herbal tea can be comforting, soothing, and relaxing. There's a host of health benefits and often an enticing aroma. The flavor can be hit or miss in my experience, but with the help of sugar, honey, and other additives, you can usually make the beverage palatable if not downright delicious.

This brew is no different. By itself, it's a little on the bland side. The redbush blend is quite subtle, as is the pumpkin essence, and there's a whisper of pumpkin spices underneath it all. If anything, I think the pumpkin, cinnamon, and nutmeg is a little too understated here, but it's there. It's not an indulgent flavor in the slightest, even with the help of sweeteners.

I'm definitely more fond of the Harvest Blend Herbal Tea, which I'm fairly certain is still available at TJ's seasonally. Also reviewed on this blog: Trader Joe's Autumn Apple Rooibos Tea. Seems like that one may have been discontinued.

Really, to me, the most appealing aspect of this item is the fancy tin box that it comes in. Attractive, sturdy, useful for storage long after the tea is gone. $4.99 for 20 sachets of herbal tea. Kosher. Caffeine free.

Probably wouldn't reach for this product again since there are other options at Trader Joe's that I like more than this one. Put me down for six out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibos Herbal Blend. The beautiful wifey has a different take on this tea. You'll just have to watch the short video review if you want to hear her opinion and score.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Overnight Oats

Pumpkin Overnight Oats, hereinafter referred to as POO, was never going to be a contender for the hallowed halls of the Pantheon on this blog. I'll give anything the old college try, but I'm starting to see a pattern here. Super indulgent desserts that go the pumpkin pie route can totally work. I'm thinking Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Sheet Cake. Savory stuff that sticks to a squashy, herby essence is also a safe bet. Just one example would be Trader Joe's Fall Harvest Salsa. Products that get slathered in pumpkin pie spices and pumpkin puree while still trying to maintain an air of wholesomeness and healthiness like this one? Ehhhh. Those usually miss the mark in my opinion.

On one hand, the POO is thick and full of whole grain oats, much like TJ's other overnight oat offerings. It's $1.99 for the single serving cup. It's not a terrible value. It's filling. It's unique.

But on the other hand, I don't think the pumpkin spices and pumpkin puree really work in this application. You can get away with throwing things like apples and peanut butter into oatmeal, but would you really ever want to throw a piece of pumpkin pie into your oatmeal? I doubt it. I wouldn't.

Sonia isn't as turned off as I am. And honestly, I thought there was a good chance this would be so bad that I'd gag and spit it out of my mouth. It's truly not that awful. I could finish it by myself if I had to. I just don't think either of us would ever buy it again.

Kosher. Gluten free. Keep refrigerated. Sonia will go with seven out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Pumpkin Overnight Oats. I'll throw out five stars for the POO.

Sonia's score: 7 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Breakfast Bowl

Just trying a different format here. Most of this review was done on the fly in the YouTube video below, but I'll throw out some bullet points in this written post.

Pros: plenty of chicken sausage. Convenient. Filling. Product has a nice blend of salt and pepper flavors in the background.

Cons: the sausage comes in huge slabs rather than crumbled, and it has too much fennel flavor. There's not enough cheddar cheese. The plastic film didn't want to come off of the bowl easily. $4.29 is a little too much money considering the size and quality of the product. 

If you're in a pinch, it'll do the job for a quick and easy breakfast (or lunch) particularly if you're super hungry. Probably wouldn't buy Trader Joe's Chicken Sausage Breakfast Bowl again.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mango Sticky Rice Crisps

I realize we're a little late to the party with these mango sticky rice crisps, but we've had a bag sitting in the pantry waiting for review for a month or two now, so better late than never, right? They're still a long ways before their expiration date, and they've been sealed up the whole time. I assume this review will be relevant for summer 2025 and beyond...or will TJ's discontinue the item?

Hard to say. Speaking of "hard," these circular snacks are somewhat hard to chew. The rice is fine. It's crispy and brittle just like you'd assume from a rice "crisp" or a rice cake. But the mango is dried and it's pretty tough. Fortunately, most of the pieces are very small. They're like pebble-sized pieces of mango infused into discs that are roughly quarter-sized in terms of diameter and about a quarter inch thick.

The flavor is amazing. It's very similar to real mango sticky rice. The sweetness level is just about perfect and there's plenty of mango taste. There's even real mung beans and coconut milk in the mix. No complaints there.

Unfortunately, half the pleasure of mango sticky rice is the soft, creamy texture. It can be somewhat chewy, but there's nothing tough or leathery in the original dish. I feel like a jerk being critical of such a delicious snack, but I just wish there were some way to soften those mango pieces a bit. I'd almost prefer a refrigerated version that used fresh mango instead of dried mango.

Still, if you have mandibles of steel or a really great dental plan, I won't tell you not to buy these because they taste great. I'll go with something like 7 out of 10 because the flavor would get a 9 and the texture'd be more like a 5.

Sonia gives Trader Joe's Mango Sticky Rice Crisps seven out of ten as well, but she's not quite as thrilled with the taste as I am. $3.29 for the resealable 4.5 oz bag. Product of Thailand.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hashbrowns

POE-TAY-TOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. You can make hash browns out of 'em, too. Taters really are versatile. Quick question, though: is "hashbrowns" one word or two? Seems Trader Joe's can't make up their mind on the issue. We reviewed a Shredded Hash Browns product many years ago, and back then it was a two word phrase whereas now it's a single compound word.

Not that this is a new item. In fact, this iteration may pre-date that shredded offering mentioned above. It's been around for a long time because it's an excellent product. I'm finally enthusiastic enough about it to give it a solid review thanks to the advent of the air fryer. Heated on the skillet, these morsels are good. Heated in an air fryer, these morsels are great.

They're crispy, slightly oily, and full of delightfully hearty potato flavor. These are some of the best hashbrowns Sonia and I have ever had. We've purchased this product a few times over the years. Not sure why we didn't review it sooner.

To circle back to the question I asked in the opening paragraph of this review, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that "hashbrowns" taste better when they're a spelled as a single word, so we should all just spell it that way from now on. $2.79 for ten potato patties made with Idaho potatoes, found in the frozen section. Twenty-eight cents per hashbrown? That's a ridiculously good value. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Hashbrowns.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese & Turkey Sausage Egg White Bites

When I complain about these egg bites being too small and too expensive, Sonia is quick to remind me that they sell pretty much the same thing at Starbucks for nearly double the $3.49 price tag at Trader Joe's.

And while I'm complaining, let me just say I wish there were a whole egg version of this product. Sure, egg yolks have some cholesterol, but it's good cholesterol. I always feel like I'm missing something when I eat yolkless egg.

But now that I've gotten those trivialities off my chest, let me say that all things considered, I like these egg bites quite a bit. You can't beat unexpected cheddar in the cheese department. If I'm gonna eat sausage, I prefer turkey sausage, so there's that. It's nicely spiced and flaunts a rich, savory flavor, even though the sausage pieces are quite tiny by my standards.

It's undeniably unexpected cheddar we're tasting here, but there could always be more of it. Littles pieces of vegetables wouldn't have been unwelcome, either. These aren't the first egg bites we've looked at on this blog. See: the spinach and kale variety from about a year ago. Those greens worked well in egg bites, although, all things considered, I have to admit I like this version just a tad more.

Sonia will give Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese & Turkey Sausage Egg White Bites eight out of ten stars. That sounds about right. Gluten free. Made with eggs from cage free hens. We would buy these again.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Chile Crackers

Aside from some aesthetically-pleasing packaging and the fact that I generally enjoy spicy foods, these crackers don't seem particularly alluring to me. They're being prominently displayed at TJ's stores and on traderjoes.com right now, but I'm still a bit skeptical. Can a cracker flaunt a nice crunchy texture while simultaneously delivering wheaty goodness and peppery heat?

Meh. Sorta. They're oddly dense. They're not like super light wafery crackers. They remind me a bit of the recently-reviewed Savory Squares in terms of density and overall texture, but those were made with tapioca and almond flour primarily and these are wheat-based.

Upon first bite, they don't seem very spicy. I must admit the pepper builds up on the tongue after munching on a full cracker or two but I wouldn't have minded a good bit more chile pepper flavor. 

There's also tomato powder listed in the ingredients, but I wouldn't say they taste tomatoey either. It's just a dull, dry, salty wheat flavor with a modest amount of heat.

My favorite Trader Joe's brand crackers in recent memory are definitely the Green Olive Flats, which provided us with a pleasant surprise. Despite both Sonia and I loving spicy, peppery foods, I don't know if we'd pick these up again. 

I love the concept here but I don't love the execution. I guess you could say I have a love-hate relationship with these crackers.

$2.99 for the 5 ounce box. Product of the United Kingdom. Sonia gives Trader Joe's Chile Crackers seven out of ten stars. I guess that's about right.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Cheddar Cheese

This everything but the bagel phenomenon is getting out of hand. Why can't we just put classic EBTB on our own cheese, Trader Joe? You don't trust us to do it properly? I suppose it's nice to have it pressed right into the wheel already. It would be tedious to sprinkle the proper amount on every single bite of cheese, wouldn't it? Some of these products were better than others, but I know it was convenient to have it pre-applied to a few other things throughout the years:

Trader Joe's EBTB Greek Yogurt Dip

Trader Joe's EBTB Nut Duo

Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls

Trader Joe's EBTB Smoked Salmon

Trader Joe's EBTB Potato Chips

Trader Joe's Everything Bagel Chips

Trader Joe's EBTB Crackers

Ridiculous, right? Anyway, TJ's keeps making them and we keep buying them, so there's no end in sight. Today we're looking at cheddar cheese. Pretty hard to mess that up, right?

We tried it plain first just to see what we're working with here. It's good. I thought, if anything, the EBTB wouldn't be strong enough and I'd want more of it. It's pretty well-represented here, honestly.

There's a significant garlic element in the EBTB cheese. Fortunately, Sonia and I absolutely love raw garlic, black garlic, cooked garlic, garlic butter, garlic mayo, garlic bread, and...well, you get the idea. I'd be wary of eating this during a work lunch since it might make your breath a tad funky.

Other than that, have at it. Provided you like cheddar cheese as well as the garlic and onion vibe you get from EBTB, I can't imagine people disliking this product. It makes plain old cheddar cheese seem super gourmet. Sonia and I will try this with chicken, pasta, sandwiches, and melted over veggies.

It's some of the best tasting cheese I've had in a long time. I give Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Cheddar Cheese 9 out of 10 stars. Sonia will give it a perfect ten. $4.99 for the 8 oz wheel.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hot Smoked Salmon Fillet

Sonia and I grabbed this product from the fridge at TJ's in haste, neither of us remembering that it had already been reviewed on this blog. In our defense, it's been over five years since the post went up, and we weren't the ones that reviewed it.

I thought about simply bumping that old post and plopping a short video at the bottom, but I think I'll just let that one stand on its own since we've got a significantly divergent take on this item. If you care to read the review from my esteemed former colleague just click here:

Trader Joe's Hot Smoked Salmon Fillet Take One

It's quite possible suppliers have changed in the past five years or that the quality of the fish has improved or simply that my erstwhile Pittsburghian counterpart "got a bad batch," but we found a much smaller layer of dark gray salmon next to the skin on our specimen. Also, we found our salmon to taste pretty good overall.

My biggest gripe would be that the smokey flavor was just a little overbearing. Some folks love that smokey flavor, but I can only tolerate it in moderation. Sonia was fine with the smokiness here.

We found a salmon spread recipe on thekitchn.com involving this salmon, mayo, onions, and lemon/lime juice. That combo was absolutely superb. The acidity of the lime juice and the creaminess of the mayo counterbalanced the smoke flavor nicely, and it made an extremely satisfying appetizer that actually wound up being our dinner.

We finished the product in a single sitting that way, serving the salmon spread on both water crackers and white rice. Get a look at the actual product by checking out the YouTube Short below.

$8.99 for the 6 ounce ready-to-serve package. In the end, I'd prefer unsmoked salmon for most situations, but this product is convenient and has plenty of potential when mixed with other ingredients. Would buy again. Seven and a half out of ten stars from me. Eight and a half out of ten stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.