Trader Joe's Baked Sheep's Milk Ricotta Cheese

Calling this cheese "ricotta" threw me off a little at first. This is nothing like any other ricotta I've tried. We reviewed a cow's milk version on here not too long ago. I'm hardly a cheese expert—surprise, surprise—but this stuff reminds me of buffalo mozzarella way more than ricotta.

By itself, the cheese would be super clean and fresh but not very flavorful at all. The herbs de provence provide nearly all of the taste. It's fairly rosemary-forward to my palate. What else do I detect? Salt and some oregano, maybe..? There's also thyme and basil listed in the ingredients. Sure, I can tell they're there now that I read the list. There's also an herb called "savory" that I was unfamiliar with prior to this product. Apparently it's common in herbs de provence.

It's a nice blend of herbs. Placing thin slices of the cheese on a toasted baguette seems to be the best way to consume this product. It didn't really do much for pasta, and dessert-ish applications don't seem appropriate here at all. The simple pairing of this cheese with bread allows the herbs to shine and makes a more toothsome snack than cheese alone. I suppose water crackers would provide a similarly neutral pairing.

Sonia made the astute observation that it would go quite well with a balsamic glaze or something similar. I'd have to agree. We tried it with this grape must glaze and bread and it worked surprisingly well.

We paid $5.11 for our little circle of cheese. I think it was $12 per pound. It's definitely not what we expected, but it's quite good for what it is. And it's a little on the pricey side, but all gourmet cheeses tend to be that way.

Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Baked Sheep's Milk Ricotta Cheese with Herbs de Provence.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Apricot Preserves

For my obligatory, self-indulgent, lead-in segue today, I have to mention my childhood pet, Apricot. I've brought her up before on this blog, though not recently. I really loved that dog. I still have dreams about her decades after her passing. I love the little monsters we have now, but that dog was very special. She had apricot-colored fur, hence the moniker. Hey, I was only six when I named her. Can't talk about apricots without thinking of that pup. Don't worry. Food review begins...NOW.

I thought preserves were supposed to have big chunks of fruit in them. This stuff does not. I mean there's teensy tiny little particles of fruit to let you know it did, in fact, come from real apricots, but all in all, it's pretty darn smooth. Does that make it jelly? Or jam? I dunno. All I know is it's pretty good.

It's sweet and tart like apricots. Who'd have guessed? Honestly the cane sugar pushes it decidedly over onto the "sweet" side of the equation. Works for me. Goes great with butter and toast—or in this case, an English muffin. It's also scrumptious with that recently-reviewed toscano cheese and crackers.

It's made with organic apricots and organic cane sugar. Good stuff. $4.29 for the jar. Would buy again. I don't know if it could ever take the place of good old grape or strawberry jelly, but it shall be added to the rotation for sure. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Organic Apricot Preserves.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Shrimp & Garlic Flatbread

I love shrimp. It's a blessing and a curse for Trader Joe's shrimp dishes because I get my hopes up so high each time I try a new one that it's difficult for some products to live up to my expectations. Throw the word "garlic" in the title and I start salivating like Pavlov's dog.

One thing I didn't notice when purchasing this product: it has mushrooms. I have a mild allergy to mushrooms and I really don't like them at all. It's not like I'll die if I eat them, though. I just get mild heart palpitations and increased pulse for a few minutes. Yes, my allergies are weird. I'd get into all that, but let's save that disturbing discussion for another review and dive right into this appetizer.

The flatbread comes in what appears to be a vacuum-sealed garbage bag that's black on one side and see-through on the other. Interesting. Haven't seen packaging quite like that before.

The heating instructions read "DO NOT MICROWAVE" bolded in all caps. Yikes. Okay, I mean I wasn't going to in this case, but I'll be a good boy and follow the instructions exactly this time. Just stop yelling at me. 375° for 20 minutes and we're ready to chow down.

Certain bites contained more cheese than others. The cheesiest sections delivered a generous blast of parmesan while other bites were simply toasty bread and garlic bechamel sauce. I'm certainly not complaining about the sauce, but by itself, it wasn't particularly memorable and only faintly garlicky.

There were only ten shrimp specimens on our entire flatbread. For six bucks, that's not super generous. The small quantity that was there, however, was quite tasty. They weren't rubbery or chewy at all—good quality, cooked to perfection. The mushrooms, though noticeable, were not abundant enough to bother me at all.

In the end, the flavor of this flatbread just wasn't special enough to win over either Sonia or me completely. The shrimp, though enjoyable, were not plenteous enough to save the dish entirely. Probably wouldn't buy again.

Three stars from me. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Shrimp & Garlic Flatbread.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Josephsbrau Oktoberfest

I guess technically Oktoberfest season is over already, but since it's still the month of October, I'll squeeze this brief beverage review in here for the benefit of next year's readers at least. I'm no expert when it comes to Oktoberfest beers, so I'll just make this a quickie today. We've looked at numerous other Josephsbrau products on this blog, but I think this is the first one we've seen in a can.

This beer strikes me as being similar to other Oktoberfest selections I've tried, but perhaps thinner, lighter, and not quite as bold. The flavor is faintly leafy, nutty, and malty. I just drank it straight from the can, so I didn't really analyze the color, head, and clarity or anything like that.

I wouldn't have minded a tad more carbonation. It was a little fizzy but maybe not quite enough. By the end of the can it was noticeably more flat than it had been just a couple minutes prior.

At $1.34 for the can, the price is right and it's worth a purchase or two just to see if you'll like it or not. 5.3% ABV. Sonia and I will throw out three and a half stars a piece for Josephsbrau Oktoberfest.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Fig Slices

A good freeze-dryer will run you in the ballpark of $2.5K. It wouldn't be a bad investment, honestly. I'd love to be able to make snack packs and meals that last a couple decades to throw in the fallout bunker (AKA the basement). Or I'd put together freeze-dried hiking packs that are super lightweight and compact. Fun fact: freeze-dried food weighs about 90% less than fully hydrated food.

But still, freeze-dryers are at least double or triple the size of a modern microwave. And preparing the food and storing it properly can be a lot of work. Two and a half grand isn't exactly cheap, either. So until we decide to shell out the big bucks, at least there's stuff like Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Fig Slices.

They're like circular pieces of styrofoam that look and taste like real figs...because they are real figs. They're crunchy and sweet, and they make you feel like an astronaut.

"Houston to Eagle. Have you touched down on the moon yet? Eagle, come in. I repeat, Eagle, come in. This is Houston requesting response. Over."

"Sorry, Houston, I couldn't hear you over the sound of these figs crunching. I can't stop eating them. They're so good. Over."

Sonia likes them even more than I do. Would buy again. $3.69 for the resealable single serving bag. Unsweetened. Unsulfured. Kosher. Just one ingredient. 

Four stars from me. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Freeze Dried Figs.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheese, Spinach & Kale Egg Bites

I know, I know. Cholesterol is bad for you or something like that. But isn't some cholesterol good cholesterol? Wouldn't the cholesterol in egg yolks be the good kind? I like egg yolks. One of my all-time favorite social media tag lines for a post on this blog was for this egg white salad and it read:

Dear Yolk,
I miss you.
Yours,
Mr. White

It's like a little story in and of itself, in letter format. I realize it's totally arrogant and narcissistic to reference my own stuff like it's some kind of classic work of literature or something, but I bring it up because the same could be said about this product. Why do you hate yolks, Trader Joe?

That said, there's way more flavor in this product than that poor, sad egg white salad. And this product isn't bragging about being "spicy" or flaunting cowboy artwork on its packaging. This packaging says, "if you don't get your hopes up and just want some egg white and some veggies, you won't be let down." And I wasn't. Maybe because my expectations weren't particularly high.

The cottage cheese works really well here. It adds some tang and body to the dish. The two tiny eggy circles are still not very filling. Sonia and I shared them, one for each of us. But I see on the packaging that both bites together are considered a single serving. That tracks, because I could have eaten four or five of these things in one sitting, no problem.

There's a fair amount of spinach and kale throughout the product. One or two bites were just a tad stringy, but not overly so. The spice blend, including garlic powder, onion powder, and white pepper, was nice too.

$3.49 for a dish that's not very heavy at all. It tastes okay and it's probably not very fattening, so there's that. They're also very convenient, going from refrigerated to hot in 60 seconds. I guess we'd buy again? Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Cheese, Spinach & Kale Egg Bites.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

The Gourd Tree Pumpkin Cider

Back around the time I was turning 21, I really didn't enjoy alcoholic beverages at all. I had tried sips of beer and wine here and there, mostly under the supervision of my parents because they knew I wouldn't really like them. So on the rare occasion I'd go to a bar with friends, I'd usually just get appetizers and a soda. That is, until a friend introduced me to hard cider.

Back in Pennsylvania, Vermont-based Woodchuck Cider was commonly available in bottles or on tap. It might be considered a little "girly," I know, but their amber cider was my gateway drug into the world of fine brewed beverages. Cider isn't really my go-to drink nowadays, since it's generally too sweet and contains too much sugar, but every once in a while, I'll see what's out there if I encounter a new brand or interesting flavor combo.

I'm not sure if this Gourd Tree brand cider is a Trader Joe's exclusive or not. I don't think I've ever seen it anywhere other than TJ's, but that isn't necessarily proof that it's a brand owned by Trader Joe's.

Anyway, there are only three ingredients in the can: fermented apple juice, pumpkin puree, and spices. It's great that they publish their ingredients, since most alcoholic beverages do not, as it is not required by law for some suspicious reason. And it's even greater that the list is so short and simple.

Taste-wise, it's very sweet. Definitely don't reach for this beverage unless you're craving something sugary. The good news is it's natural sugar. That said, the sweetness isn't overly syrupy or thick. It has a crisp, refreshing flavor that's bubbly, clean, and fun.

That "pumpkin puree" had me a little worried, but there's not much in the way of detectable squash matter in the drink. It's thin and smooth. The pumpkin spice blend plays second fiddle to the sweet, fermented apple flavor, but it's definitely there.

It's available in a six pack for $9.99 or you can buy individual cans for $1.67 each. Even if it is bordering on "too sweet," this product isn't overly processed or fake at all, and it tastes that way. We would buy again. Double fours on The Gourd Tree Pumpkin Cider from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Creamy Toscano Cheese Dusted with Cinnamon

By itself, the flavor of this toscano cheese is hearty, nutty, creamy, and not a far cry from more common cousins like parmesan or asiago. I always try cheese by itself before pairing it with something, just to know what I'm working with. This cheese is absolutely scrumptious just by itself, but I knew it had even more potential when matched up with the right companion flavors.

I kept reading that it wanted to be paired with something sweet—apricot preserves, fresh grapes, or even honey. We generally have a squeeze bottle of raw honey on our kitchen counter, so it was easy enough to drizzle a bit of it on this cheese, along with some classic water crackers.

Wow. The difference was staggering. The sweetness and syrupiness of the honey woke up the cheese and the cinnamon in a way I wouldn't have imagined possible. Amazingly delicious. We subsequently tried it with Trader Joe's Apricot Preserves (review forthcoming) and found it equally exquisite but for slightly different reasons. Now I want to try that toscano soaked in syrah and any other seasonal versions that might pop up at TJ's throughout the year.

I hear toscano cheese pairs pretty well with chardonnay or rosé wines. You don't have to twist my arm very hard to try wine and cheese combos, but we haven't gotten around to trying this with vino quite yet. If we do before we finish this wedge, we'll report back and drop a line in the comments.

$5.60 well spent. Perfect five stars from Sonia. Dang. I knew she liked it, but that's her first perfect score in a looong time. I liked it quite a bit as well, and I hate to deny it a shot at the hallowed halls of our Pantheon, but I don't like it quite enough just by itself to go higher than four out of five stars. Still, it's a great product and we would definitely buy Trader Joe's Creamy Toscano Cheese Dusted with Cinnamon again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Mini Maple Marshmallows

After 14 years of marriage, I thought I knew all the culinary tricks my wife had up her sleeve. As I popped a couple of these maple-flavored marshmallows into my mouth, Sonia scolded, "Don't eat too many or I won't have enough to make rice crispy treats."

"You know how to make rice crispy treats?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Literally everybody knows how to make rice crispy treats. It's SO easy," she replied.

I've mentioned it on this blog before, but I got a bad grade in home ec class. My little group couldn't even get rice crispy treats right. I mean, we had to repeat the assignment multiple times and we still couldn't produce edible food. We actually had to stay after school to chisel the charred remains of our project out of the pan. Basically, that whole episode scarred me for life and I haven't even attempted to make them since.

But Sonia whipped up a batch in like 10 minutes. She made it look so simple. I mean, neither of my parents ever made rice crispy treats, so I figured it must take some kind of wizard-level kitchen skills. Most of the ones I've had were the store-bought, pre-made kind. I've had homemade ones at potlucks and group picnics and such, and I always marveled that anyone had the talent to turn simple marshmallows and puffed rice into such a spectacular dessert treat.

But one thing I've never had: MAPLE rice crispy treats. So good! On their own, these marshmallows are super mapley and sweet. They're pretty much what you'd expect maple marshmallows to taste like, except maybe even better. They don't taste fake at all and there's no weird aftertaste.

When they're used in rice crispy bars, the maple flavor gets diluted just a tad, but there's still that sweet, nutty, caramel-esque maple goodness in the background. Combined with crisp rice, butter, and whatever else you baking geniuses put in those things, it's a delicacy you're sure to want next fall and every fall after that.

So, yes, we'd buy these again next year. Sonia wishes they sold them in a much larger bag. $2.99 for this 6 oz package. Four and a half stars from me. Four from Sonia for Trader Joe's Mini Maple Marshmallows.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Vegan Italian Bolognese Ravioli

For those of you unfamiliar, bolognese sauce originates from Bologna, Italy and is traditionally made with beef or sometimes pork, and it's rich and hearty and commonly served on pasta. Some versions contain red wine, while most contain herbs and spices like rosemary, fennel, and/or oregano.

Here we have Trader Joe's Vegan Italian Bolognese Ravioli. Seems pretty straightforward: little round ravioli pasta pieces filled with that vegan bolognese sauce that we reviewed a few years ago? We liked that sauce okay, so filling ravioli with it will probably make a passable meal. Let's just dive right in.

The ravioli is very dainty here. Like each piece is simply two paper thin layers of pasta with a spoonful of a relatively thin tomato and lentil-based sauce inside. It has a pleasant, though not particularly pungent, array of spices. Tomato is far and away the dominant flavor.

Sonia wishes there were more of the sauce within each pasta round. I don't disagree, but I'd rather have a thicker, more robust sauce. It doesn't need to have meat, but even the lentils and tomatoes are crushed into oblivion and feel nearly liquefied. There's very little to chew on in this dish.

We actually wound up finishing the package by dumping Trader Joe's Calabrian Chili Spicy Pasta Sauce on the remainder. That stuff completely drown out the comparatively subtle flavors of the bolognese sauce and made the pasta much more flavorful. Everything's more exciting with that sauce on it.

There's nothing unpleasant about this pasta product, but it could be improved with greater quantities of the bolognese sauce and/or making it thicker, and even bulkier pasta on the ravioli would help.

$3.99 for the package, which Sonia and I easily finished in a single sitting. Three out of five stars from yours truly. Three and a half stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Vegan Italian Bolognese Ravioli.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Celebration Cake Gelato

Sonia and I are celebrating our 14th anniversary this week, so among other things, we decided to break open this Celebration Cake Gelato since neither of us got to try it around our birthdays.

It's pretty obviously just a birthday cake style frozen dessert: vanilla with colorful sprinkles. It has the dense creaminess of gelato, the indulgent sweetness of cake and icing, and the fun, festive colors you'd associate with any type of celebration.

But here's the best part and the worst part: there are real cake pieces throughout the mix, and the bites that contain some are superb and scrumptious, but they are way too small and far and few between—so most bites, unfortunately, do not contain any luscious birthday cake.

Eating straight from the pint container becomes a mining errand, with each cakeless bite causing more and more frustration and each cakeful one propelling the consumer to dig with renewed fervor in search of that motherlode of legendary cakey goodness.

Alas, there was no giant cache of cake at the bottom of the carton. There were maybe a dozen paltry whispers of baked confection in the entire product. It almost would have been better to include none so we'd have been ignorant of what we were missing.

Our final score would have been at least one and a half stars higher had there been adequate quantities of cake in this product. As is, Sonia will still throw out a generous four out of five. I'll go with three and a half. Trader Joe's Celebration Cake Gelato with Cake Pieces & Rainbow Sprinkles is good, but it needs more mix-ins to be considered great. $3.79 for the pint.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Honeycrisp Apple Granola

You know what makes apple flavored stuff taste better? Apple, apple, and more apple. The greater the quantity of real apple, the better. I guess the folks at Trader Joe's know that, and that's why they put a bunch of dried apple pieces all throughout this cereal. The pieces are surprisingly large, they're very sweet, and they aren't particularly leathery like dried apple can be sometimes.

The granola is pretty standard. It's just clusters of rolled oats, rice flour, and sweeteners like brown rice syrup and cane sugar. We recently looked at another brand's apple granola and really liked it as well.

That product had little corn flake type pieces in it which I enjoyed quite a bit, however, the dried apple pieces were much smaller than Trader Joe's offering. Sonia didn't care for the flake pieces, so she's much more fond of this Trader Joe's Honeycrisp Apple Granola.

It would make a great yogurt topper or trail mix ingredient. In addition to having it with milk, we both snack on it plain every once in a while, too. It's sweet and hearty enough it makes a great mid-day snack or breakfast. It looks like this one might already be done for the season. Curse you, Trader Joe. Oh well. We'd buy it again next year.

$3.99 for the 12 oz resealable bag, which we went through pretty quickly. 

Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four stars from me for Trader Joe's Honeycrisp Apple Granola.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Petite Pumpkin Spice Cookies

I know, I know. Pumpkin triggers some of you. It seems to be especially bad when it's "pumpkin spice." I think "pumpkin spice latte" is the epitome of fall fare trigger phrases. With that in mind, "petite pumpkin spice cookies" probably isn't exactly music to some of your ears, but hey, I know you're not going to want to hear this: you pumpkin-haters are a distinct minority.

Repeatedly, routinely, across all social media, people taking polls about pumpkin spice respond positively to PS products and say they do want pumpkin and pumpkin spice reviews. It's just under 25% that seem to despise the stuff. So until those polls hit 51% anti-pumpkin sentiment or higher, I'm gonna keep buying and reviewing these products.

Now I certainly don't love every pumpkin spice product I try—not by a long shot. Nor do I hate every pumpkin product I try. I do get tired of it each and every year by the end of the autumn season, but then I'm always ready for some more 9 or 10 months later. This is only our third new pumpkin item of the season from Trader Joe's, so I'm still more or less in pumpkin spice mode and Sonia most definitely is, too.

That said, these cookies are pretty much what I expected them to be. The only thing on the packaging that threw me off a little was where they describe these cookies as "shortbread." I'm not saying they're not shortbread, but I think "gingerbread" would have been more accurate in terms of flavor.

Sonia likes them a good bit more than I do. They remind her of Mother's Circus Animals, but with cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and ginger. She likes them a lot with coffee, and she thinks they'd be fun for kids or office parties.

There are white pumpkins with orange nonpareils and orange pumpkins with white nonpareils. They're yogurty on the outside and crunchy and bready on the inside. Like I said: no surprises here. The pumpkin spice level is fairly well balanced with the sweet coating and the wheat cookie flavors, but these little treats are still just garden-variety autumnal snackage by my estimation.

$3.99 for the 10 oz box. Sonia would buy again next year. Four stars from her. I'd eat a couple out of Sonia's box, but I would not feel the need to purchase my own. Three out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Petite Pumpkin Spice Cookies.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread

So...consuming this product has been one of those experiences that has me questioning numerous decisions I've made in the past. Namely: why didn't I buy Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese earlier? It has been available in block format for years, I'm pretty sure. Why didn't Sonia and I purchase that Shaved Cheese Blend, reviewed on this very blog, which also contains unexpected cheddar? Why did I not expect the cheddar to be as unexpected as Trader Joe's would have me expect? Why would I doubt TJ's like that?

I don't know. I don't even know if any of that last paragraph made any darn sense at all. All I know is that this is a really freaking amazing cheese spread. It's unexpectedly good.

So, my whole life, I've loved Cheez Whiz. As far as Philly cheesesteaks are concerned, I'm a wiz wit guy all the way. Sonia's with me on the "with onions" part of the equation, but she thinks the whiz is gross. She just thinks it tastes fake, and it does. Because it is fake. It's "processed cheese food." It's franken-cheese. And I mean, at this point, I eat it about once every 5 years, so it's not like it's a health concern or anything like that. I'm already getting side-tracked...

Here's our take on this product in a nutshell: Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread tastes like Cheez Whiz but not at all fake, and we both love it. It's sweet, smooth, salty, savory, creamy, tangy, and super spreadable. It's so thick and flavorful, just the thinnest layer of it adds such an amazing burst of luscious cheddar goodness that the tiny tub lasts longer than you might expect.

I'll be honest: most of the container was consumed by me just dunking water crackers right into the tub and eating them without anything else. But we did make tacos and sandwiches using this cheese and they were stellar, as well. I'm sure you could use it on pretty much anything.

It's not like an item you'd pair with wine to impress cheese snobs or anything like that. And I'm pretty sure most kids would love it. Low-brow or not, my mouth doesn't lie, and it LOVES Trader Joe's Unexpected Cheddar Cheese Spread. Now I definitely have to try the hatch chile version.

$4.99 for 9 oz. Best five bucks you'll spend all year. Perfect five stars from me. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. That makes this our first entry into the Pantheon in over two months.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.