Crackers are one of those foods that can feel so super fancy and upscale, or they can feel cheap, boring, and sad. Some of the most expensive, high-profile events I've ever been to have featured crackers with toppings as hors d'oeuvres. Likewise, some of the sorriest penny-pinching meals I've ever consumed were crackers topped with peanut butter and jelly, in lieu of real bread.
Granted, the latter event no doubt involved cheap store brand saltines and the former most likely featured something more akin to these multigrain whole wheat and flax seed-laden pita crackers. But my point stands that crackers are indeed ubiquitous and versatile, and in most cases, they largely depend upon some auxiliary flavors and textures to make them stand out as a memorable snack or appetizer.
On their own, Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers aren't bad at all. Texture-wise, they're crispy, crunchy, and rigid, but not too hard. The flavor is wheaty, for sure, but it's immediately apparent that there's much more complexity underneath the basic grainy taste. There are at least six grains present, flax and sunflower seeds, olive oil, molasses, and honey. While the sweeter elements don't really shine through in any meaningful way by themselves, they temper the earthier flavors and make for a highly noshable snack cracker, particularly when paired with a suitable array of toppings.
We tried ours with multiple types of cheese, hummus, bean salad, tuna salad, grape leaves and quinoa, and they worked beautifully in every case. They paired surprisingly well with cream cheese. I even tried adding some fruit spread to the cream cheese and made some surprisingly palatable dessert crackers with these. I just used the term "dessert crackers" twice in one week. I'm weird like that.
$2.99 for the 6 oz box. I'd buy again. The beautiful wifey likes them even more than I do. Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from Sonia on Trader Joe's Multigrain Pita Bite Crackers.
Did you know that shrimp is the fruit of the sea? There's shrimp kabobs, shrimp salad, shrimp gumbo, deep fried, pan fried, stir fried. There's shrimp scampi, pineapple shrimp, coconut shrimp, lemon pepper shrimp, and of course, Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Ginger Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning.
How could Bubba have forgotten Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning??
I suppose it's possible it didn't exist back then. We'll forgive you for this glaring omission from your famous list of shrimp dishes, Mr. Benjamin Buford Blue. But just this once...
Like Bubba, I consider myself a shrimp aficionado. I've been eating the stuff since I was a wee one. So my standards are pretty high and I'm a pretty tough grader as far as final scores are concerned.
My jam was always deep fried jumbo butterfly shrimp. I'd drown those things in cocktail sauce or some kind of remoulade and could smash dozens of them in one sitting. These puppies aren't fried or breaded, so how do they fare against such fierce competition?
Pretty good, honestly. I'm amazed I didn't mess them up when I cooked them, but they came out with a really nice texture, not too chewy or weird in any way. They tasted good, too, although Sonia and I just wish the spices were a little more potent. We definitely tasted ginger and garlic in that buttery sauce, but I think we were both hoping that the togarashi seasoning would bring a little bit more heat to the equation.
Still, for $7.99, this is pretty close to a gourmet quality seafood entree. I counted about 16 or 18 decent sized shrimp in the package. It's supposed to be a single serving, but if served with rice and some sides, this pouch can easily satisfy two people for dinner. Sonia and I give Trader Joe's Argentinian Red Shrimp with Ginger Garlic Butter & Togarashi Style Seasoning two thumbs up and four stars a piece. Would buy again.
Ah, here we have an "Old World Recipe." No doubt these tasty morsels were concocted by The Great Old Ones in their storied city R'lyeh. Perhaps Cthulhu himself combined the delicious flavor of butter cookies with the sweet and tangy zip of juicy Meyer lemons and offered the resulting thins to his demonic brethren as a tide-me-over snack in between devouring hapless human victims.
Or, perhaps, Trader Joe is referring to the European Renaissance rather than characters from a loathsome Lovecraftian lineup. Now that I've scoured the box for clues, it appears that indeed it's the latter assumption that's correct and you can safely disregard all that nonsense in the opening paragraph. Something something something about 19th century sailors and women using lemons for lipstick and kings gifting one another lemons because they were so hard to come by back then. Who knew?
I could see kings gifting each other Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins even nowadays because they're quite delicious. They're like those really thin and crispy snickerdoodles, texture-wise. They're buttery like them, too. But instead of cinnamon and spice, there's a pleasant wave of lemon flavor.
Lemon always feels like a summer flavor to me, and these cookies are no different. Despite the butteriness, they don't feel overly filling, dense, or oily. They're light and crispy yet also somehow very flavorful.
In general, crispy cookies aren't my thing, but this selection gets a thumbs up from me. I'd almost want to call them "dessert crackers" instead of "cookies," you know, if dessert crackers were a thing.
I've tried these dessert crackers plain, with cream cheese, and with vanilla ice cream. They're awesome in every instance. I'd try my dessert crackers with lemon ice cream or lemon sherbet if I had some.
Sonia likes them a lot, too. $4.49 for the 9 serving box is a little pricey IMO, but as usual, you get what you pay for. These things are high quality. Plus there are two separate sleeves of cookies so one half of the package can stay wrapped up while you eat the other half. Double fours on Trader Joe's Old World Recipe Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins.
I generally prefer tequila reposado or "gold" to the blanco or "silver" version. I guess the main difference is reposado is aged in a barrel and blanco is not, so reposado tends to be a little smoother and blanco just a little more agave-forward.
Not sure why I grabbed Trader Joe's Tequila Blanco on our last TJ's haul. I guess I'd remembered that we reviewed one type of Trader Joe's Tequila Reposado a long time ago on this blog. I couldn't tell you if that one's still available or discontinued, or even if TJ's offers any other types of tequila currently, but I figured why not add a blanco to our long list of product reviews?
Well...I can think of one reason: it's not that good. I mean, I've had other tequila blancos and this one is the harshest one I can recall. It's probably one of the worst tequilas I've ever had. It's like a vague planty notion swimming in a sea of rubbing alcohol. There was also an unpleasant aftertaste both Sonia and I noted that's hard to describe.
It's passable if you dilute it with mixers, juices, and ice, but neither of us would purchase this version again. It's nothing like that Distinqt tequila or the more recently reviewed Espada Pequeña Mezcal. $19.99 for 750 mL. 40% ABV. Product of Jalisco, Mexico. Two and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Tequila Blanco.
To me, the term "rice cake" has always meant a dry, crispy disk of whole grain rice, usually Quaker brand, mostly plain but occasionally dusted with a flavoring of some sort. Growing up with a wheat allergy, rice cakes were a great alternative to wheat-based crackers and even bread. I'd eat mine with peanut butter and jelly or sometimes just plain and I honestly grew to love them. Despite not having a significant wheat allergy any longer, I'll seek out Quaker rice cakes once in a while just for nostalgia's sake or to curb my once-in-a-while craving.
These rice cakes are obviously a little different from those big crunchy pucks I grew up with. Apparently, something similar to Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes is widely available at Asian grocers like H Mart, but this will be the first time either Sonia or I have tried this specific type of mochi-esque side dish.
The little slices of rices are oval-shaped, but otherwise about the size of a quarter. I don't know if you've ever placed a coin on the railroad tracks and let a train run over it or used one of those novelty crank-operated machines that stamps your penny with the logo from some specific attraction, but they're in that ballpark, size and shape-wise.
I followed the instructions to boil them, and they came out quite chewy. They were pillowy and somewhat soft, but honestly, I was hoping for something a little closer to regular rice or pasta in terms of texture. They're surprisingly dense, and I won't say they're leathery per se, but they don't exactly melt in the mouth quite like I was hoping they would.
Still, they're unique and convenient. There's no sauce in the bag, so you can just add them to pretty much any Asian dish. In our case, we had them with leftover sesame chicken, egg rolls, and stir fry topped with sriracha sauce. You can't really see any veggies in the picture we took, but I promise there's some cabbage in that bowl somewhere.
The cakes, not surprisingly, taste like rice, and they add an interesting texture, particularly if you cut them in half for easier chewing before taking a bite. We both like 'em enough. Repeat purchase? Maybe.
$3.29 for the 5 serving bag found in the frozen section. Vegan. Gluten free. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes.
At last, the long-awaited sequel to our review of Trader Joe's Chai Tea Mints is here! For a recap: the last tea-flavored mint got a thumbs up from Sonia and a thumbs down from Nathan. When we last left our heroes, Nathan was coughing from the chalky aftertaste and Sonia was adding the tiny tin to her purse, promising she'd finish the mints without Nathan's help. The high after-dinner refreshment drama continues today...with Trader Joe's Green Tea Infused Mints!
These are a little better than the chai ones in my humble opinion. I honestly love chai flavored things, and green tea stuff is hit or miss with me, so I'm actually kinda surprised. Chai has an almost desserty vibe to me. It should be sweet and spicy and somewhat indulgent. Those mints weren't.
Green tea, on the other hand, I think of as medicinal. It can be refreshing, which I'd say these mints are. It can be sweet, which these mints are as well. But I don't really think of green tea as a flavor extravaganza, generally. What I guess I'm trying to say is I didn't have my expectations up as high for these green tea mints, and I wasn't nearly as disappointed.
Also I think green tea breath is better than chai breath. I don't think I can justify or back that opinion up with any sound logic or rationale...so we'll just leave it at that. Plus these are less chalky by my estimation. Sonia likes them about the same as the chai ones.
$1.99 at the checkout area. About 54 mints per tin. That's three less than the chai version. I should take them out and count them manually, but...nah. Feel free to count them and comment below if you're feeling ambitious. Four stars from Sonia, three and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Green Tea Infused Mints.
Pretty much without fail, if Trader Joe's puts the word "protein" in the title of a product, it's a safe bet I won't like it at all. I mean I have nothing against proteins. I love fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, and beans as much as the next guy. But when a product has "whey protein concentrate" or "pea protein powder" or anything like that as a top ingredient, it's virtually a guarantee that the protein powder taste will overpower the entire product.
So why try Trader Joe's Buttermilk Protein Pancake Mix at all? Well, firstly because the beautiful wifey wanted to check it out. But also because it's pancakes. They can't possibly screw up pancakes with some protein gimmick, can they?
In short, yes. Yes they can. These are pancakes that taste very much like they were made with whey protein concentrate. No amount of butter and/or syrup can completely save them and make them taste like normal, delicious pancakes. They taste like health food, pure and simple. They taste like protein powder.
Some people, no doubt, can look past it. I, for one, cannot. Sonia generally enjoys products with or without protein powder, and even she can't get past the protein powderiness of these pancakes.
They're soft and fluffy enough, I guess. There's not a ton of chalkiness like some protein products. So the texture's not a complete failure.
We'll eventually finish the box, but we wouldn't buy it again. $3.99 for the 11 serving package. Two stars from me for Trader Joe's Buttermilk Protein Pancake Mix. Two stars from the beautiful wifey.
I hadn't had a decent Asian meal in quite a while, so I thought, what the heck? Let's try some Trader Joe's Pho to see what they've done with the classic Vietnamese noodle soup.
It heats in the microwave from frozen in just six minutes, and unless you wanna get fancy, you can just eat it straight from the plastic bowl for a quick lunch. As the product emerged from the microwave, I detected an unusual potpourri-esque smell. Was that cinnamon and nutmeg in there? I haven't had real pho in a hot minute, but I certainly don't remember the soup smelling like a pumpkin spice candle.
The taste of the soup wasn't as strong in terms of the spices. In fact, it was fairly bland, although there was a hint of fennel. The noodles were slightly chewy, stiff, and mostly flavorless. The meat was excessively fatty for my taste. In a way, the veggies were the best part of the soup, but they were far and few between. I wouldn't have minded more bean sprouts and onions in the mix.
Something spicy was in order. Lacking freshly-sliced jalapeños as the "serving suggestion" depicts, I opted for sriracha sauce. Can't go wrong there. But even generous dollops of my second-favorite condiment couldn't completely redeem this Asian-inspired soup.
I hadn't remembered at the time of purchase, but we did look at a previous iteration of Trader Joe's Beef Pho Soup about 12 years ago. It was packaged differently back then and was likely from a different supplier, as this current cover boasts "Product of Canada" on the box while the previous version did not. We weren't completely bowled over by that last beef pho, but if anything, this rendition is a step in the wrong direction.
Sonia doesn't think this soup is that bad, but then she's never had real pho. She wasn't a fan of the chewy beef either, but she enjoyed the broth and noodles more than I did. Her portion sat around for 5 or 10 minutes longer than mine did, thus causing the rice noodles to soften a bit.
$3.69 for the single serving bowl. I would not buy again. The beautiful wifey is on the fence. Two stars from me for Trader Joe's Beef Pho Soup. Three from Sonia.
I mean Trader Joe's Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars are organic, which is good, but that's where the Trader Joe-isms stop with this classic snack/breakfast-on-the-go.
With whole grain oats, brown rice flour, and unsweetened dried coconut in the chewy, solid base, there's plenty of complex carbs and healthy stuff to keep you feeling full throughout the day. The rest of the ingredients are organic sweeteners like honey, agave, cane sugar, and tapioca syrup.
The bars could probably use a few more chocolate chips. There were definitely a couple bites in each one without any chocolate. The whole grains and sweeteners are tasty enough by themselves that the lack of chips is certainly not a dealbreaker here.
Texture-wise, they're nice and soft. "Chewy" is as accurate a word as any. This box sat in our pantry for at least a month and the bars still felt and tasted as fresh as any pre-packaged granola bar I've ever had. I must point out it is quite warm here now. These types of granola bars tend to get much harder when consumed in colder temperatures.
$2.49 for 8 bars. Each one is individually wrapped, and honestly, they're on the small side. They're just big enough to curb the munchies and keep the blood sugar levels up, but they're on the verge of being so tiny that I'd be tempted to reach for a second.
Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Organic Chocolate Chip Chewy Granola Bars.
What madness is this? A tiny jar of red threads for six bucks nestled among Trader Joe's more conventional spices? Who would pay $5.99 for two and a half tenths of an ounce of anything? Wait. 0.025 oz. That's two and a half hundredths of an ounce! I grew more and more indignant the more I thought about it.
Enraged, I looked for an unsuspecting Trader Joe's employee to focus my wrath upon as once more I thought, "WHO in their right mind would pay SIX BUCKS for a teeny tiny jar of a mysterious spice from Trader Joe's???"
I would. Of course. The answer to the riddle was ME, naturally, that's who. And I composed and calmed myself once more as I added the tiny glass cork-topped bottle to my cart. We're in this for the adventure, no matter the cost.
The interzones told me to only use two or three threads of this Spanish saffron per serving, otherwise it might overpower the dish. Must be some potent stuff here. Let's find out if it's true.
I didn't find the saffron overpowering per se, even when I used well more than three threads with my food. It's definitely honey-esque, but the sweetness is balanced out by a complex blend of earthy undertones. There's something quite floral about the taste and smell, as well. Experts liken the essence of Spanish saffron to grass or hay. While I can see how they draw the comparison, smell-wise, I find the concept of eating grass or hay too unappealing to mention in the same sentence as this expensive, hand-harvested spice.
Sonia disagrees. She finds Trader Joe's Spanish Saffron decidedly hay-ish. She must have been a horse in a past life. I don't even know what hay tastes like.
I also felt my tongue go numb after bites that contained large pieces of the saffron. It was an interesting sensation—not at all unpleasant, but quite unexpected. It's possible I experienced a mild allergy to the spice. Fortunately the reaction stopped on my tongue and didn't affect my throat or respiratory system. I guess I should exercise a bit of caution when consuming unusual plant matter that my body is unfamiliar with.
This will be a fun one to experiment with. I can't see it not working with any rice-based dish. I feel cultured and worldly just having a bit of this in my cupboard. Hopefully we'll get a chance to impress a few guests with it in the near future. Kosher. Product of Spain. Three and a half stars from Sonia. Four stars from yours truly.
I'm not sure why mackerel isn't more popular. To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time I've ever had it. Every grocery store in America has a section for canned tuna and most have a row or two of canned salmon. Mackerel? I'm not saying it's not there, I'm just saying I've never taken note of it before.
And even though fresh, expertly-prepared salmon is among my favorite foods on earth, canned salmon is a sad substitute for it. Even Trader Joe's Canned Salmon fell short of my expectations.
So Sonia and I went into this purchase with low confidence but were both pleasantly surprised. Trader Joe's Boneless Skinless Mackerel in Sunflower Oil didn't exactly look like a delicacy when I first peeled back the lid of the tin can, with both light and dark meat sections visible, all of it swimming in a tiny sea of sunflower oil.
There were two long, thin fillets of the meat. They forked apart easily enough. The texture was similar to tuna but decidedly firmer. Again, these were actual slabs of natural fish rather than minced into a mush like canned tuna.
The taste was very similar to tuna as well, but slightly less fishy. It was almost like tuna but a step in the direction of canned chicken. The plain unadulterated fish straight from the can definitely received a thumbs up from both Sonia and me. It was even better when served in a salad.
Finally, we chopped up some dolmas, added spinach, mackerel, and balsamic dressing and put it all on water crackers, as seen in the pic above. They turned out messy but surprisingly scrumptious. If we'd added feta, they would have been even more outstanding.
We'll absolutely buy Trader Joe's Wild Caught Boneless Skinless Mackerel again and we'll be on the lookout for other brands of mackerel in other grocery stores. This product had a "best by" date a good three years and some change into the future. I think we found a new pantry staple.
$2.99 for the 6 ounce can. Product of Tunisia. Four stars from me. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey.
Not all that long ago, we looked at Trader Joe's Tangerine Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. This here's its counterpart, with ginger and lemon flavor. In that last review, I likened the probiotics within the beverage to microscopic Sea-Monkeys that colonize your intestines, so I'll spare you from an absurd intro to the beverage review this time. We've got that same probiotic action here, same carbonation level, similar attractive packaging, but a different flavor combo. Let's see if this one's as good as the last...
Provided you like ginger and lemon, yes, I think you'll like Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. It's crisp and refreshing. There's a nice balance of pungent ginger and tart lemon. It's not too spicy, not too sour, and just moderately sweet. I have no problem downing a whole can in a single sitting.
I'm just slightly more fond of the tangerine flavor than this one, but I'd happily drink either one on a hot summer day. Sonia likes both flavors as well, but also favors the tangerine version. Once again, we're looking at $1.99 for a 12 ounce can. Not a bad alternative to soda.
Are these discontinued already? Seasonal?
Four stars from me on Trader Joe's Ginger Lemon Probiotic Sparkling Beverage. Three and a half from Sonia.
Wait. This has been around for over two years? How did I not hear about this stuff until recently? I love onions in pretty much any form. Roasted onions in macaroni topped with both Swiss and cheddar sounds absolutely scrumptious.
And it is...sorta. I mean, there's definitely a comfort food factor here in Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese. It's a heavy meal. There's a visible layer of grease glazing the white-yellow cheeses. It goes down easily enough. It's super carborrific with 102 grams of total carbohydrates, almost a thousand calories, and a whopping 125% of your RDA for saturated fat. That's if you eat the whole thing, though—which is within the realm of possibility.
It's more practical as a meal for two, even though there are two and a half servings in there somehow. Whatever. If you think of it as a treat, I mean, sometimes you just gotta splurge. The question is: is it worth it? The simple answer from Sonia and me is "not really," unfortunately.
We both think Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese needs more onion flavor. I wouldn't have minded bigger chunks of onion. And although Swiss and cheddar might be my two favorite cheeses in the world, I'd almost have preferred something tangier here. The macaroni is plentiful and soft and pretty normal in most respects.
The big bready croutons were a nice touch for folks who might have some sort of severe carbohydrate deficiency or are doing that carbivore diet I've heard so much about. Honestly, though, it never would have occurred to me in a million years to throw croutons in mac and cheese, and as far as taste and texture are concerned, it worked a lot better than I might have guessed it would. Those were probably the most pleasant surprises in the dish.
$4.99 for the 18 oz box. We're not hating. We just can't jump on board the bandwagon of super-fans. Probably wouldn't buy it again, but I also wouldn't rule it out completely. I think we're looking at about three stars a piece here from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese with Swiss and Cheddar Cheeses, Croutons & Roasted Onions.
Not sure what made me pick this one up. I guess I was jonesin' for some "maximum cracker satisfaction." At least that's what it says on the label. What did you just call me, Trader Joe?
Anyway, these sound interesting enough. Sunflower, sesame, rye, oats, flax all in one crispy bite can't be bad. I hadn't remembered, but we looked at a gluten free version of these on the blog some time ago.
One thing I hate about crackers is crumbs. We have ants in the house around this time every year and we don't need to give them one more reason to wander into our kitchen. Guess I'll be enjoying these crackers over a bowl.
First thoughts: it's a nice balance of flavors here. The sesame seeds might be a tad overrepresented for my taste, but all in all Trader Joe's Crispbread is earthy, seedy, super crispy, and lightly peppery. I was fine eating the crackers plain. Yes, it's a bit weird, but when I'm stressed, as I have been lately, sometimes all I want is something very stark and basic.
I did try the crackers with plain cream cheese, which was pretty tasty. That's Sonia's favorite way to eat them. They paired quite nicely with peanut butter, too, if you ask me. There are all sorts of elaborate ideas on the interzones about how to serve crispbread involving fruits, eggs, exotic cheeses, hummus, pesto...basically anything you can think of. Alas, we did not get that fancy with the crispbread as of the time of this post's composition.
$2.99 for ten large whole grain crackers. Would buy again. Looks like three and a half stars a piece once again from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread Norwegian Crackers.
