Trader Joe's 100% Pineapple Juice

I could not believe it. Last Labor Day, while on vacation at Disneyland, just as it got to be mid-afternoon with the sun high up and in sweltering heat, Sandy starts pleading with me that we go in and see the Enchanted Tiki Room. You know what I'm talking about - all those stupid animatronic birds singing some stupid song that gets lodged in your brain for thirteen years. I know it's thirteen years, because in 1998, I was at the one at Disneyworld, and had finally forgotten it existed until we got inside Disneyland. If you don't know what I'm talking about, do yourself a favor and never watch this YouTube video. "Come on, it's part of the experience, we gotta do it!!," she said. Well, fine, I said, mostly to have a seat in the shade and cool down for a bit. That's not the unbelievable part. The crazy part - the line. Oh gracious. It wrapped around the building and halfway to Albuquerque. I thought we were doomed to spend an hour in line just to have our ear drums and sensibilities assaulted by a chorus of robotic parrots.

Well, it's a good thing I made some offhand comment to Mr Mustache and Fannypack in front of us about the absurdity of it all, as he said, "Tiki Room? Seriously? This is the line for fresh-squeezed pineapple juice. The Tiki Room line is over there!" Indeed, we zipped right in and the show was barely half-full. That goes to prove two things: 1. Reasonable people will go to absurd lengths to get (presumably) good, quality pineapple juice. 2. Most reasonable people will avoid the Enchanted Tiki Room at all costs. I personally think the whole experience in there (and also on the "Its a Small World" ride) would be greatly improved if they gave you a BB gun as you entered.

Anyways, it's a lot easier to get Trader Joe's 100% Pineapple Juice. It's just there sitting on a shelf, a fourpack for $2.99, just waiting to be bought. As the name implies, it's all pineapple, no more, no less. I think when purchasing it I had in mind it'd be kinda like the leftover juice from canned pineapple (which I'll admit, I like) or at the very least, some pulpy/clumpy sugary bonanza. It's kinda sad that's how I anticipated this pineapple juice will taste, because of course pineapple is one of nature's tastiest fruits, and the canned version does it no justice. Instead of what I assumed it'd be inside, the TJ juice turned out to be a light, slightly sweet, pulp free juice. There's definitely not anything extra they're trying to sneak in. It's just simple, clean, delicious juice. It's as if Gallagher used his Sledge-O-Matic to smash pineapples and then filtered and funneled all the juice into these cans. You gotta do what you gotta do in this economy, and, well, when's the last time you saw Gallagher anywhere?

Anyways, yeah, both Sandy and I liked it. The can size (8.5 ounceish) seems more conducive to a quick grab on the way out the door then lounging around the house, but, well, that's what we did anyways. Unlike most of our juice purchases, I will attempt to share the remaining two cans equally with her; however I make no guarantees. Also I will resist the urge to gulp this down in about 5 seconds as I easily could, and instead try to actually taste it. Really, I have no real complaints about it, except I was still a little thirsty after I finished mine. Sandy didn't have much to say about it except to give it a good solid four, which sounds just about right to me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 100% Pineapple Juice: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons