Trader Joe's Cranberry Ginger Chutney

Well, Thanksgiving is tomorrow and as always, there's a ton to be thankful for. Even in the darkest of times, there are always good people and circumstances that can be appreciated. My heart is truly filled with gratitude as Sonia and I focus on our blessings and prepare for our Turkey Day feast. And with that, I leave you with this mostly negative review.

Trader Joe's Cranberry Ginger Chutney tastes like a chunky-style apple cider vinegar beverage. I can see what they were going for but I'm not fond of the execution. It's way too vinegary for me. We both love Indian food and Indian spices in general, but this? Sonia was way more positive than I was, but I don't think either of us would buy it again.

The cranberry and ginger aspects work quite well. There are nearly whole cranberries in certain bites. The raw ginger and tart cran flavors offset the sweetness and there's just a whisper of bite from the cayenne. It's that sour acidity from the vinegar that throws me off.

It'll be just the two of us tomorrow. I don't know who I pity more: those of you who will be completely alone on Thanksgiving Day or those of you who have more than a handful of relatives to tolerate, LOL. Either way, we'll be with you in spirit. Thanks for reading and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Sonia's score: 6.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Jumeokbap

Neither Sonia nor I had ever heard of jumeokbap before. It's a Korean dish that usually involves a "rice ball." In this case, they're more like rice pyramids. But anyway, there's usually some veggies and beef mixed in with the rice. In this case, we've got vegan beefless bulgogi—a product we reviewed not that long ago—along with carrots, green onions, and cabbage.

This product comes with three individually sealed pouches, one pouch per serving. You simply snip the corner of the pouch and microwave for 1.5 to 4 minutes, depending on the number of pouches you're heating. Take the product out of the pouch and you're done. Quick and easy.

There are tiny pieces of bulgogi throughout the product. They're much easier to chew that way, but by the end of our meal, we both agreed that more of the delicious fake meat would have improved the dish. The overall flavor was excellent.

$4.99 for the three servings. Vegan. Product of South Korea. Found in the frozen section. Would buy again. Eight and a half stars from me for Trader Joe's Jumeokbap. Nine and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. 

Have I mentioned we're doing videos now? Sonia looks darn good for 45, doesn't she?

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Hashbrowns

POE-TAY-TOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. You can make hash browns out of 'em, too. Taters really are versatile. Quick question, though: is "hashbrowns" one word or two? Seems Trader Joe's can't make up their mind on the issue. We reviewed a Shredded Hash Browns product many years ago, and back then it was a two word phrase whereas now it's a single compound word.

Not that this is a new item. In fact, this iteration may pre-date that shredded offering mentioned above. It's been around for a long time because it's an excellent product. I'm finally enthusiastic enough about it to give it a solid review thanks to the advent of the air fryer. Heated on the skillet, these morsels are good. Heated in an air fryer, these morsels are great.

They're crispy, slightly oily, and full of delightfully hearty potato flavor. These are some of the best hashbrowns Sonia and I have ever had. We've purchased this product a few times over the years. Not sure why we didn't review it sooner.

To circle back to the question I asked in the opening paragraph of this review, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that "hashbrowns" taste better when they're a spelled as a single word, so we should all just spell it that way from now on. $2.79 for ten potato patties made with Idaho potatoes, found in the frozen section. Twenty-eight cents per hashbrown? That's a ridiculously good value. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Hashbrowns.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Pasture Raised Large Brown Eggs

Well, I mean, shoot. If we can review stuff like arugula and red pepper on this blog, eggs are certainly worth a looksee, right? Sure.

These puppies are organic. $6.49 for the dozen. That makes them about $1.50 more expensive than their non-organic yet still pasture-raised counterparts. But they're still a buck or two cheaper than organic eggs I've seen from other grocery stores. Is the organic-ness worth it? I have no idea in this case. Sonia apparently thinks it is. I'd probably just grab the cheap stuff.

They are indeed large brown chicken eggs. They look pretty pristine inside and out. With 70 calories each and a good amount of protein, eggs are still one of the most cost-effective foods on the market—even the organic kind.

I've mentioned before that I kinda have to be in the mood for eggs. I'm not someone that's ever had them for breakfast every day. Sonia, on the other hand, not only eats eggs almost every single day, but she'll often have them for breakfast and a mid-day snack.

For their high quality and overall decent value, we'll both go with eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Organic Pasture Raised Large Brown Eggs.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spanish Style Rice

I'm down with white rice. It's the primary staple for over half the world's population. Brown rice? Check. Fried rice? Sure. Basmati rice? You know it. And this here Spanish rice? It's tasty.

But isn't it more like Mexican rice than Spanish rice? If you do a quick search, the internet machine will tell you Spanish rice is yellow and Mexican rice is orange. This looks orange-ish to me.

Sonia says it's pretty close to the rice her aunt would make when she was young, and it's certainly a dead ringer for the rice they serve in all the mom and pop's Mexican restaurants around here. At any rate, Spanish rice and Mexican rice are pretty similar, and this particular Trader Joe's offering is quite delicious. The seasoning blend is on point, featuring garlic, onion, paprika, and tomato powder.

Microwave and stove top heating methods are given. We nuked ours and it came out just fine.

Vegan. $3.69 for the four serving box, which comes with two separate plastic pouches of two servings each. Would buy again. Sonia and I will both throw out eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Spanish Style Rice.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes

Below, you'll find another video review featuring both the beautiful wifey and me.

I'm not sure if I put the nutrition info anywhere in the video, so I'll drop it right here.

$2.49 for 5 green onion pancakes actually imported from Taiwan. Vegan. We would definitely buy Trader Joe's Taiwanese Green Onion Pancakes again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Egg Salad

Sonia loves eggs. Maybe not every morning, but most mornings, the first things she'll do after getting up is fire up the coffee maker and grab a few eggs from the fridge. Within minutes she's sipping java and making an egg sandwich with cheese or some sort of omelette.

Me? I like eggs, but I kinda have to be in a certain mood. If I force myself to eat eggs when I'm not hungry for them, I get a little nauseous. But every once in a while I get a specific hankering, and in those instances only eggs will hit the spot. I'm weird like that.

It's a similar situation with egg salad and egg salad sandwiches. If we're traveling and we stop for gas at any random convenience store, Sonia will gravitate toward an egg salad sandwich, if available, more often than not. But it's usually pretty low on my list of preferences...unless I've got that craving.

One thing we do agree upon: this egg salad is not very good. It's bland. It lacks richness, creaminess, and flavor. It tastes and feels watery. Things like mayonnaise and mustard are listed in the ingredients, but they simply don't show up in the flavor of the product, so we wound up adding our own. We both tasted something similar to dill in the egg salad, but there's no "dill" mentioned on the packaging. We're perplexed on that one.

This isn't the first sub-par egg salad we've seen from TJ's. The Spicy Ranchero Egg White Salad comes to mind. I thought maybe egg yolks would help but apparently not. They're 0-2 as far as egg salad is concerned.

Now chicken salad, on the other hand, is a different story entirely.

If we lived any closer to a Trader Joe's, I think this might have been a "no-hassle refund" type situation. As it stands, we'll probably just force ourselves to finish this tub. I mean, it's edible, but this is most definitely not a repeat purchase. Sonia's score: 5/10. Nathan's score: 4/10

Bottom line: 4.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Breaded Cheddar Cheese Curds

I was born and raised in the Northeast, and since then I've lived in the South, on the West Coast, and in the Midwest. So I can tell you from experience that cheese curds are very much part of midwestern culture in a way that folks from other regions might not understand. For example, many midwestern fast food joints and mom and pop's restaurants offer your choice of French fries or cheese curds to go with your hamburger.

The cheese in most curds that I've tried is stiffer than what you'd find in a typical mozzarella stick. It's "squeaky" cheese. Like mozz sticks, however, they tend to be a little greasy and covered in a thin breading. Cheese curds are served hot, and they come to you nice and soft with a few little cheese bubbles on the outside of the breading, but they're rarely melting and oozing the way mozzarella sticks do. They're part of the comfort food culture here in the Upper Midwest and Sonia and I have taken quite a liking to them, particularly when served in tomato soup.

We used the air fryer heating method which involved pre-heating for about 5 minutes and cooking for an additional 5. The curds came out crispy and lightly brown on the outside and soft and squishy inside. They might have been a little softer than your average midwestern cheese curd, but the flavor was delightful—a robust burst of rich cheddar in every bite.

Folks round these parts tend to eat their cheese curds with ranch or gravy, but I prefer marinara sauce when it comes to dipping these delicious do-dads. Trader Joe's Cheese Curds don't really need any condiments, but they pair nicely with tomato sauce or ranch. I also made a spicy, exotic international dip that worked well by mixing ranch with sriracha and gochujang. The artwork on the packaging appears to depict a serving suggestion that involves dipping cheddar cheese curds into...more cheddar? That seems inappropriate...perhaps even vulgar.

But I'm not one to judge. Folks from Wisconsin would probably say it's blasphemous to eat cheese curds with spaghetti sauce but that's still my favorite topping for these noshable niblets. Sonia likes them sans sauces. Whatever tickles your pickle, as they say.

$4.99 for the 5 serving bag. Would buy again. Four stars a piece from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's Breaded Cheddar Cheese Curds.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Bake At Home Organic Garlic Bread

I really try not to let other people on the internet influence my opinion when writing reviews, but in this instance I couldn't escape all of the negative chatter about this product. Some folks were even circulating rumors that Trader Joe's corporate had directed store managers to take this bread off the shelves at certain(?) stores. Others said crazy things like their family of 15 couldn't even finish the six serving loaf and loads of other such nonsensical hyperbole.

I'm here to tell you it's not that bad. Is it great? No. But it's not terrible in our humble opinions. I mean, it's an odd concept: organic bread vacuum sealed up in plastic and preserved like King Tut, complete with oxygen absorber. There's even garlic spread already spread in between the two halves of the loaf. Then you unseal it, even out the spread between the halves, and toss it into the oven for 15 minutes at 425°F.

The bread kinda smelled like sourdough and plastic even after removing all the packaging. It browned nicely in the oven and came out smelling a bit better than when it went in. The top half of the loaf was inordinately thin and the bottom half was equally thick, so the top wound up being crispy and overly crunchy while the bottom remained doughy and much softer—although honestly, both halves were quite stiff and chewy.

As weird as it looked and smelled, I thought the taste of the garlic spread was okay. The bread itself wasn't bad either, but nor was it anything special. Mind you, this bread had a "best by" date of July 2nd (purchased this past Sunday). That's "fresh-baked" bread that can sit on your kitchen counter for almost three months...at least in theory anyway.

$3.99 for the loaf. Interesting concept. Don't think I'd buy again. Still, it isn't anywhere near as awful as some people are saying it is. Sonia and I polished most of it off in the course of a single day. Easy enough to prepare. It's just a little tougher than I'd have liked, texture-wise, and the flavor was just good but not stellar—far from inedible, but certainly a little weird. Three and a half stars from Sonia. Three stars from me for Trader Joe's Bake At Home Organic Garlic Bread.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Artichoke Bread Pudding

Hot take: Trader Joe's Artichoke Bread Pudding has both the taste and texture that I wanted Trader Joe's Artichoke Timbales to have, but it's still not something I'd reach for regularly simply because I don't crave any kind of vegetable bread pudding very often.

It's a heavy comfort food full of bread and cheese, and it also flaunts the earthy, nutty, bittersweet taste of artichokes. It's kind of a weird concept to me, but it works. It's not desserty at all. It's got more of an appetizer vibe.

There's a surprising amount of cheese in each bite. When you take a forkful of the bread pudding, strings of yummy cheddar cheese appear between the bread crumbs and artichoke chunks. The breading has a faint sourdough flavor, but it's overshadowed by the cheese, spices, and veggies. It's also buttery and rich with notes of onion, garlic, and black pepper in the background.

This is another one that took a significantly longer time in the oven than the instructions indicated. After 20 minutes at 350° the bread pudding was still frozen in the middle. All told, I think it stayed on the center rack for 35 minutes before it was completely heated through.

$4.99 for the 3.5 serving loaf. Decent product, but again, I'm not really a vegetable bread pudding kinda guy. If I had guests that were mad about artichoke, I might repurchase just to share it with them. Otherwise, this is probably a thing that was neat to try just once. Three and a half stars from me. Four stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Artichoke Bread Pudding.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Holiday Vegetable Hash

Trader Joe's is selling the good stuff now. And it's not just any hash, it's a special strain cultivated for this magical holiday season. But try as I may to roll it up and light it up, I just couldn't get this bud to burn. Somebody gotta tell Joe to dry his goods before selling them. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat these little hash chunks. They even give you suggestions for using them as edibles right on the package. You can make super stimulating soup or stoner stuffing with this stuff. Far out.

All hash jokes aside, our mixture seemed like it was teetering on the verge of being too dry, honestly. A bit more moisture would have been quite pleasant here. The squash and sweet potato bites were a little too hard and even the celery seemed stiff. We did consume it a couple days before the "best by" date, but it seemed like maybe our batch had seen better days..?

It's not a mix I'd ever want to eat on its own. In addition to the lack of moisture and abundance of firmness, it's a very odd flavor combo to me. When cold, the onions clash with the sweet potato and squash, and the herbs and spices are overrepresented.

As far as seasonings are concerned, we're looking at parsley, sage, rosemary, and...wait. What? Just parsley, sage, rosemary...and no thyme. I bet Simon and Garfunkel are rolling over in their graves right now. Wait. What? Neither of those guys are dead yet? Well, that's good, I guess. Time for a reunion tour then, maybe?

As an additive to other foods, I guess I'm failing to find a soup that suits this unusual mishmash of not-super-Christmassy oddball ingredients. Sonia sautéed it with salt and olive oil, and I must say I like this melange much better when served warm. The oil helps with the dryness, and all the flavors blend into a nice savory snack—much less harsh and bitter than when consumed raw. It works amazingly well as an accompaniment to eggs.

The beautiful wifey has big plans to serve up the remainder of our hash with a Cornish hen, but I don't think we'll get to that before this review gets posted. In light of how good this stuff is when served as a hot dish, I'll have to give it the benefit of the doubt. Sonia agrees.

$4.99 for the 18 oz container. Three and a half stars a piece from the wifey and me for Trader Joe's Holiday Vegetable Hash.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Squiggly Noodles

It's funny how many Americans don't think of noodles as top-shelf, sought-after dinner fare. I know my personal bias thinks of cheap Maruchan or Top Ramen from the good old college days. They were in the ballpark of 20¢ a pack back then, and most of us that ate them did so out of necessity rather than choice. But considering the cost, the noodles weren't terrible, and the powder packets not only turned a cup of water into a savory flavored broth, but they delivered nearly a whole day's worth of sodium, too. I still eat that stuff from time to time, but as far as noodles go, it's what most of us are familiar with, and sadly, it's the bottom of the barrel.

Asian cultures on the other hand, hold noodle dishes in high esteem. Japan's ramen scene, in particular, is fascinating to Sonia and me. If you don't know what we're talking about, check out The Ramen Girl for your next romantic movie night. We've been to a couple decent ramen restaurants, too, here in the states, which Sonia is a huge fan of.

These noodles are Trader Joe's take on Momofuku and are indeed squiggly, soft, and slightly chewy. I found the texture more palatable when cooked for just a bit longer than the four minutes mentioned in the heating instructions. They contain a significant amount of sodium, as well, boasting 920 mg per serving, probably mostly from the sesame and soy sauce packet.

The sauce is just barely enough to thinly coat the noodles in each pack. When munching on the noodles alone, we both wanted a lot more of the sesame and soy sauce combo. It's pretty much just salty like soy sauce with a faint whisper of sweet from the sesame. If you were going to prepare a big fancy dish with veggies and meat along with these noodles, the sauce could easily be substituted with something else or forgotten about entirely. But as a stand-alone dish, the noodles are fairly dependent upon the sauce for flavor.

As a base for a larger, more elaborate meal, we both think these would be great. As a snack in and of themselves, these packs aren't exactly stellar. The noodles are high-quality enough, but nobody wants to eat plain noodles, and the sauce just doesn't do enough by itself. There's not even a broth for these noodles to bathe in.

$4.99 for four packs of squiggly noodles. We probably wouldn't buy these again unless we had a very specific recipe we were going to follow. As stated above, I'm sure these would make an excellent base for a big Asian meal, but we tend to score things on what they are and not what they could potentially be. Three out of five stars from me. Three and a half stars from Sonia for Trader Joe's Squiggly Noodles.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes

To me, the term "rice cake" has always meant a dry, crispy disk of whole grain rice, usually Quaker brand, mostly plain but occasionally dusted with a flavoring of some sort. Growing up with a wheat allergy, rice cakes were a great alternative to wheat-based crackers and even bread. I'd eat mine with peanut butter and jelly or sometimes just plain and I honestly grew to love them. Despite not having a significant wheat allergy any longer, I'll seek out Quaker rice cakes once in a while just for nostalgia's sake or to curb my once-in-a-while craving.

These rice cakes are obviously a little different from those big crunchy pucks I grew up with. Apparently, something similar to Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes is widely available at Asian grocers like H Mart, but this will be the first time either Sonia or I have tried this specific type of mochi-esque side dish.

The little slices of rices are oval-shaped, but otherwise about the size of a quarter. I don't know if you've ever placed a coin on the railroad tracks and let a train run over it or used one of those novelty crank-operated machines that stamps your penny with the logo from some specific attraction, but they're in that ballpark, size and shape-wise.

I followed the instructions to boil them, and they came out quite chewy. They were pillowy and somewhat soft, but honestly, I was hoping for something a little closer to regular rice or pasta in terms of texture. They're surprisingly dense, and I won't say they're leathery per se, but they don't exactly melt in the mouth quite like I was hoping they would.

Still, they're unique and convenient. There's no sauce in the bag, so you can just add them to pretty much any Asian dish. In our case, we had them with leftover sesame chicken, egg rolls, and stir fry topped with sriracha sauce. You can't really see any veggies in the picture we took, but I promise there's some cabbage in that bowl somewhere.

The cakes, not surprisingly, taste like rice, and they add an interesting texture, particularly if you cut them in half for easier chewing before taking a bite. We both like 'em enough. Repeat purchase? Maybe.

$3.29 for the 5 serving bag found in the frozen section. Vegan. Gluten free. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Sliced Korean Rice Cakes.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese

Wait. This has been around for over two years? How did I not hear about this stuff until recently? I love onions in pretty much any form. Roasted onions in macaroni topped with both Swiss and cheddar sounds absolutely scrumptious.

And it is...sorta. I mean, there's definitely a comfort food factor here in Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese. It's a heavy meal. There's a visible layer of grease glazing the white-yellow cheeses. It goes down easily enough. It's super carborrific with 102 grams of total carbohydrates, almost a thousand calories, and a whopping 125% of your RDA for saturated fat. That's if you eat the whole thing, though—which is within the realm of possibility.

It's more practical as a meal for two, even though there are two and a half servings in there somehow. Whatever. If you think of it as a treat, I mean, sometimes you just gotta splurge. The question is: is it worth it? The simple answer from Sonia and me is "not really," unfortunately.

We both think Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese needs more onion flavor. I wouldn't have minded bigger chunks of onion. And although Swiss and cheddar might be my two favorite cheeses in the world, I'd almost have preferred something tangier here. The macaroni is plentiful and soft and pretty normal in most respects.

The big bready croutons were a nice touch for folks who might have some sort of severe carbohydrate deficiency or are doing that carbivore diet I've heard so much about. Honestly, though, it never would have occurred to me in a million years to throw croutons in mac and cheese, and as far as taste and texture are concerned, it worked a lot better than I might have guessed it would. Those were probably the most pleasant surprises in the dish.

$4.99 for the 18 oz box. We're not hating. We just can't jump on board the bandwagon of super-fans. Probably wouldn't buy it again, but I also wouldn't rule it out completely. I think we're looking at about three stars a piece here from the beautiful wifey and me for Trader Joe's French Onion Macaroni & Cheese with Swiss and Cheddar Cheeses, Croutons & Roasted Onions.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks

Not sure what happened here. Did we get a bad batch? Did our local Trader Joe's manager go around changing freshness dates like Apu at the Kwik-E-Mart?

Sonia and I both thought these were bland, dry, and way too hard. We followed the heating instructions exactly. We consumed them before their "sell by" date. We tried them plain, with soup, and with various other dips.

There was no discernible garlic flavor in Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks. The cheese was wanting both in quantity and taste. Even the bread itself fell utterly short of the delightfully soft and fluffy Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread we looked at last week. The breadsticks were slightly more palatable when we first pulled them from the oven, but now that they need reheated a second time, there's simply no redeeming them.

There was no greasy residue on these sticks. Maybe that's what they needed. To both Sonia and me, they seemed like nothing more than unsalted cylindrical crackers. We're struggling to finish them. If you want breadsticks without jalapeños, we recommend buying the pull apart bread and simply removing the jalapeños, because Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks simply aren't worth the $3.49 we paid for them.

Two stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread

Ahhh, the delicious jalapeño. It's like the gateway drug to the world of spicy foods. I remember thoroughly enjoying a plate of nachos during my college years. It was heaping with jalapeño pepper slices, and one of my instructors happened to walk by my work-study job as I had my lunch. "You don't strike me as a jalapeño kind of guy, Nate," he mused.

"Well there's more to me than meets the eye, Professor," I responded.

And I've been eating jalapeños ever since. The beautiful wifey introduced me to pickled jalapeño slices from brands like La Morena and La Costeña. They often come canned with carrot slices, too. The carrots soak up the jalapeño juice and become spicy just like the peppers. I love it. Perfect for tacos, nachos, or even burgers and other fusion meals.

But what about cheesy bread? I don't see why it wouldn't work. The only thing stacked against Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread is that it's not exactly fresh-baked. Heating instructions specify preparation in the oven only. Lazy bums like me that want to reheat everything in the microwave will have to put on our big boy pants. What about the air fryer? Why wouldn't that work? Meh. I'll just be good and follow the instructions for now.

Before even baking the pull-apart loaf, a visible layer of grease can be seen on the cardboard and paper part of the packaging. When you're talking breadsticks or pizza or pull-apart bread, grease almost always equals deliciousness.

And yes, the bread itself is extremely soft and nearly melt-in-your-mouth delicious after heating 12 minutes in the oven. The cheese coating is somewhat firmer than that. The jalapeños aren't exactly pristine, but then again I guess they've already been baked once.

The flavor could use both more cheddar cheese and jalapeño pepper. The bread itself is very tasty, but I think most of us came here for the cheddar jalapeño. I think if you ate this bread by itself, you'd be slightly underwhelmed, but served with tomato soup or some other kind of dip, it's pretty palatable. Sonia tried it with some queso blanco to boost the cheesiness, and she reported back with positive sentiments.

Five bucks for supposedly 6 servings. It's more like 2 servings in reality. And for the folks who like to remind me it's not Trader Joe's determining how many servings there are in these products, but rather the FDA or some other agency, I'd like to point out that I'm not aiming this criticism at any particular entity. I'm simply pointing out the fact that two people will demolish this thing in a single sitting, easily. That's just my take on the matter. Some may disagree, including those with the authority to declare that there are 6 servings when clearly there are not.

Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Four out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Riced Hearts of Palm

Trader Joe's is discovering that hearts of palm are nearly as versatile as cauliflower. We've already looked at Trader Joe's Hearts of Palm Pasta, and I've already given my contemplative spiel about palm trees, so this time we'll just jump right into the food review.

Inside the box, there's a plastic pouch full of the riced hearts of palm. After snipping the corner or top of the pouch, you have to squeeze the contents out in the manner of toothpaste from a tube. They land in your saucepan resembling a lumpy wet mass. Not particularly appetizing. The smell is odd and excessively planty, similar to the pasta version, but not something that's familiar otherwise. Again, not particularly appetizing.

After heating, however, the product improves drastically both in smell and appearance. The aroma gets richer and more earthy, almost squash-like. The little palm pieces start to resemble actual rice as the liquids are partially cooked away.

The finished product is still a little wetter than actual rice somehow. The pieces are slightly more gelatinous than grainy. Still, they're quite edible. They need some fixins, though. The box recommends serving the dish with olive oil, veggies, and spices. I tried experimenting with a bunch of TJ's seasonings but nothing stood out head and shoulders above the others.

I like traditional rice the best. And I'd probably take riced cauliflower over this stuff. Still, this isn't a bad option. I wouldn't go out of my way to purchase Trader Joe's Riced Hearts of Palm again, but if someone served it to me as a side dish, I would eat it without complaint.

$3.49 for the 9 oz package. Vegan. Gluten free. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.