There haven't been many Christmas Day posts on this blog throughout its 15 year history, but once again we'll follow the precedent set by our Grump Tree write-up from a few years back and post about another living plant product from the Pacific Coast. I won't even call it a review, because I know very little about mistletoe, and what do I have to compare it to other than crummy wads of green plastic with little fake berries and twine?
I don't even think I've spontaneously kissed anyone under the mistletoe in my entire life. I mean, I grabbed Sonia the other day when she was standing within ten feet of the doorway where I've hung this happy little sprig and gave her a peck on the lips because I knew she'd appreciate the affection and attention. But I hardly need a wad of toxic evergreen leaves to smooch my wife of 16 years.
This is indeed "fresh" mistletoe. The little spiel on the back of the packaging says it's from "the Pacific Northwest" although it's not any more specific than that. It's real poisonous mistletoe. So don't eat it. Don't let your pets or toddlers eat it, either. I handled it with my bare hands and then ate some chips without thinking and I'm still here. So it's probably not all that potent.
It comes wrapped in a reddish bow and a golden twist tie. Yes. The sprigs are bound together with a twist tie like you use to bind up the top of a trash bag. But as twist ties go, this one is among the prettiest I've ever seen with its shiny gold hue. Our mistletoe didn't have any berries on it as far as I can tell. It's solid green except for the ribbon...and the gilded garbage bag tie.
For $2.99, you get actual mistletoe. No plastic stuff here. The box is pretty, with classic Joesian artwork on the cover. It's got a see-through window so you can make sure your mistletoe isn't rotted or anything. I think we'll stick it back in the box at the end of the season and see if it's preserved well enough to last until next year. We'll report back.
Sonia and I will go with eight out of ten stars a piece for Trader Joe's Real Mistletoe, found near the other seasonal greenery, flowers, and plants. Would buy again...probably? Anyway, merry Christmas to all! Thanks for reading!
We actually reviewed this product 12 years ago. I wrote a terza rima poem about it under the incorrect assumption that the product was pronounced pan-uh-TONE. It's actually pan-uh-TONE-ay. Or something like that...
Anyway, Sonia's score was tragically low for some reason. And yet she kept buying this product year after year. So we decided to do a video about it and amend Sonia's score and throw up some new info and photos.
I can't tell if the product is a victim of shrinkflation or if they just use slightly different ingredients now. But this version has 30 fewer calories than the version from 12 years ago, while the net weight has remained the same at 3.52 ounces—or did they just decide not to update the front of the packaging? I think we paid two bucks even for the one in 2013. This one cost $2.29. Not too bad considering how much everything else has gone up.
It's still imported from Italy. It's still remarkably soft and fresh-tasting bread considering it's shipped halfway around the world, wrapped in cellophane and a box. The "best by" on ours is in April 2026 and we bought it a couple weeks ago. It's still got a ribbon on the top of the package so you can hang it on your tree like an ornament.
Some might say it's just Italian fruitcake, but we think it's a fun, festive, and exotic product. This time around, Sonia and I are both giving Trader Giotto's Panettone Classico eight out of ten stars. Would buy again.
